Welcome to my world. January! What’s happened here, then. We hit Christmas and Freya’s birthday and the world went pear shape.

I had big hopes for the New Year. An experience to end all experiences but it is (please excuse my vocabulary but it is not yet very extensive and I cannot find another word that describes the New Year so well) “crap”. One of my really good pooey soiled nappies (the worst nappies I do especially for dad when he is on duty. Well I do not have many responsibilities in this life but one is to continually perform in my nappy. I particularly need to put pressure on dad to see if he is man enough.) is a better, more interesting and inspiring experience than New Year.

After Sister Freya’s Birthday being messed up through illness and then my First Christmas being messed up through illness, I shifted all my hopes to New Year. My First New Year! I had heard all the excited talk about New Year. It sounded brilliant. New hopes and full of new inspirations. Just my sort of thing. Probably holding out more adventure than the empty boxes and pretty paper I enjoyed so much at Christmas. There was only grandad who was not excited about New Year. I took no notice as he’s grumpy about most things anyway, but how right he was. I will never ignore him again.

Everyone talked about New Year Resolutions. These are lists that I do everyday anyway, of things to do and achieve. It is so easy. You make the list one day. Realise you can’t be bothered with most of the items on it, so scrap it the next day and make a new one. That is called making New Year Resolutions: more about those later.

So, I am a quick learner.  I just listen and take it all in. By the morning of 31st December I was so excited about New Year. What a fantastic experience this was going to be. You stay up partying all night which is all part of getting rid of the old year and beginning the New Year, starting your New year Resolutions having fun and staying up all night.

The staying up all night had to be the best bit.

The afternoon of New Year’s Eve started fair enough. Mum’s zany friends, Auntie Emma and Uncle Daniel came. It was Auntie Emma’s job as Sister Freya’s Fairy Godmother to cast magic spells all over Sister Freya to give her the best ever amazing year in 2017. But she not only did that she brought me a tremendous present which already has given me an amazing magical year and she’s not even my Fairy Godmother.

The toy is a bee. Unfortunately, it was not a real one. I like real ones. I try to eat them, anything to supplement my meagre diet. But the toy one was a hundred times bigger than a real one. The bee played an hideous English/oriental version of Twinkle, twinkle little star, that just goes on indefinitely, until the battery runs out. Duracel batteries are really good they last for years and years and hours.

The toy ticks so many boxes on my New Year Resolution list.

  1. Make as much noise as possible
  2. Do something to wind up grown ups
  3. Do something repetitive
  4. Love something grown ups find scary
  5. Listen all day to something that sounds hideous
  6. Have something playing I can dance to
  7. Constantly play with something that to a grown up will just get on their nerves
  8. Have something that teaches me “Twinkle twinkle little star” So the day I say my first word I will also sing “Twinkle, twinkle little star” and everyone will say “Ahhh!”
  9. Do something really noisy and repetitive that will get on absolutely everybody’s nerves
  10. Do something really noisy and repetitive that will get on absolutely everybody’s nerves

I loved it and it got New Year celebrations off to an excellent start. I was now ready to party, all night long.

But come 9.00pm Mum and Dad said come on off to bed young George (and Sister Freya). My jaw dropped I could not believe my ears. That would have been bad enough on a normal night of the year, but this was 31st December, NEW YEAR’S EVE! Didn’t they realise? I needed to experience the passing of 2016 and the birth of 2017 otherwise how would I ever know what happened. My first New Year’s Eve. What were they thinking about? Have they lost it?

I lay awake in my lonely cot and stared at the stars. I protested. I had missed seeing Santa visit. There was no way I was going to miss the New Year coming in. Listening to Mum and Dad talk about it it was fantastic, partying, music and fireworks and new hopes, plans and experiences. I could not wait. I had to stay awake.

But, annoyingly, I fell off to sleep. I was so annoyed with myself. I went to sleep in 2016 and woke up in 2017.

I’d slept through the change. I now needed to explore this brand new 2017. But when Sister Freya and I got up everything was the same. Nothing had changed.

Except… Mum and Dad. They looked so, so tired. No wonder they didn’t let us stay up. With how tired and worn out they looked they must have both been at work all night. I’d never seen them look so tired.

Unlike Christmas morning, there were no presents today, but Fairy Godmother Emma and Uncle Daniel were still there. I think because Fairy Godmother Emma is a fairy godmother she is going to be here for ever! Brilliant! She is so zany. I love her. And she’s all magical.

So I lay and made my New Year Resolutions:

  1. Never ever fall asleep and sleep through key things again missing them
  2. Make sure I pooh the biggest and smelliest poohs regularly and at times that cause the biggest panic and inconveniences
  3. Save wees until I have no nappy on
  4. Always, always, always keep waking in the night and keep Mum and Dad awake. That will teach them not to let me stay up to see the New Year in.
  5. Be more mischievous.
  6. Play with adult toys like TV remotes and not the silly babyish ones given to me
  7. Go to nursery
  8. Make and create as much noise at 150 decibels as possible
  9. Learn how to use the remote control and tablet
  10. Get access to paints, felt tip pens, crayons and pencils

    PS And use them

Before I finished I’d fallen asleep and when I woke Fairy Godmother Emma and Uncle Daniel had used their magic to disappear. That’s resolution No.1 broken. But at least I got my irritating bee, who I love. I keep rubbing it to make Fairy Godmother Emma reappear, like the genie of Aladdin’s lamp. She’s not appeared yet. I suppose she’s busy creating magic other places.