Welcome to my world won’t you come on in.


As usual there has been a lot happening in my life lately. Grandad and Mamma have visited lots and it’s such hard work keeping them occupied when you’re trying to cut teeth at the same time. Maybe I should have waited on the teeth cutting, but I’m desperate for all my teeth so that no food is out of bounds and I can chomp through an electric cable quickly and efficiently before a grown up can stop me.


There has also been Mother’s Day and April Fool’s Day. Unfortunately I got the two mixed up and ended up with an April Fool’s Mother’s Day.


In my defence I have to say nobody takes the trouble to put a calendar in my bedroom so how can I be expected to know one day from the next. Also on Mother’s Day they said they were putting clocks forward one hour. I thought what a brilliant joke I knew it had to be an April Fools joke.


I knew dad had Mother’s Day in the bag. That’s what dad’s are for to keep mum’s in a happy mood to make life bearable for us children. I have to say, with my experience of all dads, they do not do a very good job.


So with not having to worry about Mother’s Day I concentrated on doing an April Fools joke.


I did a major pooh explosion and contained it so that there was no evidence. As it was Mother’s Day (I had confused as April Fools Day) Mum asked Dad to change me before he went to work. He thought it was a routine one minute quick change but he found it was a full blown, thirty minute bath and change everything job.


APRIL FOOL Dad! But as it was not April Fools Day I guess I ended up being a fool for my first experience of April Fools Day. For my first birthday I am desperate for a calendar if anyone’s wondering what to buy me.


Dad had to be at work for 7.30am so he panicked and shouted Mum to take over.


“What a lovely Mother’s Day present this is.” Mum said to me.


That was when I first realised it was Mother’s Day and not April Fools Day. So every cloud has a silver lining, every pooh a sweet smell.I had been feeling very guilty that I’d left Dad to do all the work for Mum gift on Mother’s Day. I love my Mum (and my Dad). I feel so sorry for her. Mamma and Grandad are her Mum and Dad and they forced her to be a teacher.


“I don’t want to be a teacher. I want an easy job.” Screamed Mum


“Doesn’t matter what you want you must be a teacher.” commanded Grandad in his I’ll take no nonsense voice.


So I wanted so much to be involved in Mum’s “Mother’s Day Thanksgiving for Mum’s Compendium of Surprise Gifts”.


Imagine how fantastic I felt that she looked upon my pooh as a “lovely Mother’s Day present”. And what is more I had created it myself, especially for my Mum and with my Mum in mind.


I do enjoy Grandad and Mamma time. Grandad is unbelievable, truly, you just would not believe some of the stupid things he does. How does Mamma cope with him? No wonder she brings him to me for respite.


A few days ago they took Sister Freya to school and went on to take my dad and me for lunch at the Inn on the Green. Remember the last time I went there I missed out as I slept through it. I was determined to stay awake, this time and have my first steak and chips.


I waited.


The waitress came: They ordered

The waitress came again: Brought THEM drinks

The waitress came again: Brought cutlery

The waitress came again: Brought Mamma’s meal

The waitress came again:  Brought Dad’s meal – wow what a meal. Maybe I ordered wrong. Should I have ordered a burger instead of steak? No I’m looking forward to my first steak.

The waitress came again: Brought Grandad’s meal

OK where’s my steak – and chips – someone have the courage to ask.

The waitress came again: (No food with her) She says Everything alright for you?

Tell her No, George does not have his steak and chips. – They carry on eating B******s.

The waitress came again: Any more drinks anyone?

The waitress came again: Bringing Dad’s Drink

The waitress came again:  Any puddings anyone? Mamma says: Just the bill

How rude, I’ve not had my first course, yet. Who’s Bill anyway, I bet he gets his steak and chips

The waitress came again:  Mamma pays

The waitress came again: Bye, bye everyone


Would you believe it? No food for me and certainly no steak and chips. Ok they fed me one of those mush in a tube jobs they call Sunday roast dinner before I came out. But just explain to me: what is the point of me going through all this pain and suffering to cut teeth if I don’t get a juicy steak to chew on.


But I must not forget that I was born with a smile on my face, so grin and bare it, I must. It’s tough being a toddler.