25th JUNE 2017





Hi Ewan here. Fathers Day! This is a review a bit like Trip Adviser but totally different.  As you know all these events like Father’s Day have given me lots of trouble and concern during my first two years of existence, also like like Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day.


I thought Father’s Day would follow the same pattern as Christmas – “Father’s Day” so Dads come secretly in the night and fill the rucksack you have hung at the end of your bed, with presents. All dad’s have rucksacks it’s part of their equipment the equivalent of Santa’s sack and stockings.


I said at Mother’s Day that I was under the impression that every weekend there is a celebration of something like birthday or Christmas that means I get loads of present each week.


Here are 70 days of celebration – that’s more than one a week – I thought everyone celebrated these in a year and for each one I got gifts.


1              5 January  – Twelfth Night                                                           January

2              Farmhouse Breakfast Week                                                          January

3              RSPB Big Garden Birdwatch Weekend                                       January

4              Chinese New Year                                                                        January


5              My Birthday                                                                               February

6              Valentines Day                                                                            February

7              Pancake Day                                                                               February

8              Candlemas Day – February 2                                                      February

9           28 January – 4 February  – National Storytelling Week                February

10           Mardi Gras                                                                                   February


11           Clocks Go forward Day                                                                   March

12           World Book Day                                                                              March

13           Mothers Day                                                                                    March

14           St Patrick’s Day                                                                               March

15           St David’s Day                                                                                 March

16           Waterstones Children’s Book Prize  Day                                       March


17           St Georges Day                                                                                  April

18           Easter Sunday                                                                                    April

19           Grandad’s Birthday                                                                            April

20           London Marathon                                                                              April

21           April Fool’s Day                                                                                April

22           Grand National                                                                                  April

23           Shakespeare’s Birthday                                                                      April


24           Cousin George’s Birthday                                                                  May

25           National Record Shop Day                                                               May

26           FA Cup Final                                                                                      May

27           Elmer Day                                                                                           May

28           Newark Agricultural Show                                                                 May


29           Mid Summer’s Day                                                                             June

30           Fathers’ Day                                                                                       June

31           Open Farm Sunday                                                                             June

32           Sports Day                                                                                          June

33           Glastonbury Festival                                                                           June

34           Queen’s Birthday Trooping the Colour                                               June

35           Ramadan                                                                                             June


36           British Grand Prix                                                                               July

37           Dad’s & Uncle Chris’ Birthday                                                          July

38           Swan Upping – Third Week of July                                                  July

39           American Independence Day                                                           July


40           August Bank Holiday                                                                     August

41           Summer holiday Week                                                                   August

42           Notting Hill Carnival                                                                     August

43           Auntie NanNan Birthday                                                              August

44           Uncle Col Birthday                                                                         August


45           Mum’s Birthday                                                                       September

46      Harvest Festival – Nearest Sunday of the Harvest Moon              September

47           Blackpool & Matlock Illuminations                                        September


48           Clocks go Back Day                                                                      October

49           Brother Rory’s Birthday                                                                October

50           Halloween                                                                                     October

51           Diwali                                                                                            October


52           Remembrance Sunday                                                              November

53           Bonfire Night                                                                            November

54           St Andrew’s Day                                                                       November

55           Thanksgiving Day                                                                     November

56           Black Friday                                                                              November


57           Mamma’s Birthday                                                                    December

58           First Day of Advent & All of Advent                                       December

59           Cousin Freya’s Birthday/ Christmas Eve                                   December

60           Christmas Day                                                                           December

61           Boxing Day                                                                               December

62           New Year’s Eve                                                                          December


63           Your Birthday                                                                                    TBA

64           Granny’s Birthday                                                                              TBA

65           Grandad David’s Birthday                                                                 TBA

66           Auntie Parveen                                                                                   TBA

67           Isaac                                                                                                   TBA

68           Amani                                                                                                 TBA

69           Auntie Debbie                                                                                    TBA

70           Aisha                                                                                                  TBA


The reasoning for these thoughts were that when I was a newly born baby up until I was about two I, like all babies thought the world was all about me because I was the centre of everyone’s attention. So I just assumed all these days were in my honour and celebrated in my name with gifts to me. What’s wrong with that?


This is the third Father’s Day and it was the third Mother’s Day I’d been overlooked. I’ve been explaining it away as part of the second child syndrome, where mum and dad have had their fussy out with the first child and couldn’t care less when it comes to the second child. Been their done that got the baby sick on the T shirt. But this year the penny has just started to drop. I realised I don’t get anything for Father’s Day. My Dad gets it all, the selfish git. Infact, get this, my mum buys him stuff and makes out it’s from me.


Did she ask me if I wanted to participate? I don’t think so. Just took it upon herself. She writes cards and puts kisses on the bottom. Does she ask me if that’s what I want? No. And maybe I don’t want to do that. People will be thinking I’m a Hodgo, you know (Mamma’s side of the family, very sensitive and kissy, kissy) and I’m not I’m hard like my grandads’.

But then again Dad loved his card and pressie and meal with all the family. I tried putting him off his meal by being dramatic. But it didn’t work, he was intent on getting his pint and his meal. But I’m getting to understand the joy of giving.


You can’t understand older people, like my dad, can you? Mum said he could go anywhere for a treat. You would think he’d want to go to Thomasland, White Post Farm, West Midlands Safari Park, a soft play area or even Rufford Park to feed the ducks. But no, a tour of Garden Centres. Aren’t parents so boring?


But this is where the joy of giving became evident. You should have seen the smile on his chubby little face when he bought his plants. Such a sad life he has.


Trip Adviser Type rating for my new found enjoyment of Father’s Day 4.9



Bye Bye, Ewan.




©2017 www.rujokinggrandad.co.uk – Phil Robinson