GOOD NEWS WEEK BLOG 18.11.2017 WARNING: EWAN & GEORGE THIS IS NOT FAKE NEWS
Ewan: It’s me and George welcoming you to our world. Won’t you come on in?
George: Ewan, you’ve gone from complaining about my catchphrase to turning it into your own and putting your own spin on it.
Ewan: Sorry, George. Haven’t you learned yet, that’s the way life crumbles.
George: Cookie, I think you mean…cookie crumbles.
Ewan: Cookies, cookies, yes, I’ll have a cookie please.
George: Stop messing. We’ve a lot of news to discuss this week.
Ewan: I know. Strictly Come Dancing has been making so many headlines.
Debbie McGee got four straight 10s from the judges. When was the last time you saw that?
George: There is more to life than Strictly Come Dancing, you know.
Ewan: Ok, tell me what then?
George: Well, erm, erm…there’s…erm
Ewan: See you cannot think because there isn’t anything.
Ewan: Throwing? Throwing what? Your partner in the air. That would get you a four straight 10s, on Strictly, I’m sure.
George: No, forget Strictly Ewan or I will not speak to you, ever again. I’ll be off.
Just throwing. Throwing anything and everything.
Ewan: Oh no George, you’re not going through the throwing phase, are you?.
George: I have to prepare for the “Terrible Two’s” I don’t want to be a let down or a disappointment to the family. Us Reed’s have a tough reputation to live up to.
Ewan: I have been there done that, got the tee shirt and the black eyes and spent half my life on the naughty step for it and I’ve moved on. Except occasionally I get exhausted and sick of being hassled or just for old time’s sake I pick up the nearest thing throw it so that I am put on the naughty step so I can relax a little and take a bit of time out.
George: I’m constantly in trouble for throwing. Grown ups don’t seem to understand it gives you an adrenaline rush when you’re just short of two years old.
And talking about throwing made me think of cakes. I like to throw cakes. Ultra messy. I love messy things. And cakes mean Bake Off.
That is something more to life than Strictly.
And that’s been in the news too.
Ewan: Hardly record score news, was it. The presenter let the cat out of the bag and revealed who had won.
That is so sad!
George: Why had they got a cat in the bag?
Ewan: I don’t know. I’m not grown up. I don’t know everything. To stop it eating all the cakes, I suppose.
And they don’t even know how to score properly on Bake off.
George: They just happen to be more sophisticated than Strictly’s in your face scoring with meaningless number imprinted lollipops. I can’t read.
Bake off handles scoring more sensitively.
Ewan: Grown ups can read a 10 easily. And my brother Ewan who has just started school can read them and he’s going to show me how you read.
George: My sister Freya who just started school could read it if we had it on our TV but my Mum and Dad have taste. And anyway I don’t want to read numbers. I can read books already to Grandad.
But aren’t we are supposed to be talking world news, not Strictly.
Ewan: But world news is boring against this.
Did you see where favourites to win Aston Merrygold and Janette Manrara left the show this week? See it is full of the unexpected and full of surprises.
They are losers like you are a loser watching X factor.
George: So, someone has to.
Ewan: Not many though. On Sunday everyone prefers to watch Blue Planet II. That got the biggest audience. And X Factor got its lowest ever audience.
George: You can watch both, have you not heard of hard disc recorders.
By the way I think they are going to do Bake Off on Ice to try to compete with your darling Strictly Show.
That will show you.
Ewan: You can’t have Bake Off on Ice it would melt all the ice and become Swimming With Soggy Cakes.
George: I tell you, the Bake Off champion for the year I was a born, 2016, Candice Brown is appearing in Dancing on Ice.
Ewan: I think she’ll be dancing or otherwise it would be called Baking On Ice.
George: I like Dancing on Ice. My Mum knows the judges, Torville and Dean
Ewan: Wow, my Mum doesn’t. How did that come about?
George: They are Nottingham born and bred.
Ewan: They can’t be they are Olympic Gold medallists.
George: Once Nottingham was great you know.
Ewan: Wow! I didn’t know that.
George: You know the Motorpoint Arena, Nottingham.
Ewan: The one where we went to watch Disney Frozen on ice.
George: That’s the one. There was lots of ice there wasn’t there.
Ewan: Loads of it. It was all ice.
George: My Mum said that wasn’t always there. Torville and Dean sort of arranged it.
George: They dreamed of winning a gold medal for Dancing on Ice in the Olympics.
So they bought some ice skates and entered the Olympics.
Ewan: But Nottingham only had ice for a few weeks in winter because it’s a long way from the North Pole, so they couldn’t practice much.
George: Dead right, so this huge fridge called Motorpoint Arena Nottingham was built so they could practice all year round.
Ewan: Wow! Grandad says there’s always a way to make your dreams come true no matter how big if you just believe in them.
But how does your Mum know them?
George: After they won the gold medal at the Olympics they were given the keys to the City of Nottingham and did an honoury tour through the City streets standing on the back of a Land Rover.
Ewan: They didn’t skate then?
George: They might have been wearing their skates.
…and my Mum was in the crowd watching them and waved to them.
Ewan: Is that all?
George: But isn’t that amazing in itself?
Ewan: I thought you meant she was bosom pals with them and went to their house for tea every Sunday.
George: I only said my Mum knows Torville and Dean. I didn’t say they knew her or were on speaking terms with her.
Ewan: That sounds like “fake news” to me.
Did you know “fake news” is now officially a word? It is new word of the year and is allowed into the dictionary.
George: Is that news for us to talk about? Or is it “fake news”
Ewan: I can’t count like Brother Rory can. He can count loads, now. Up to one hundred. They showed him how at school. I want to start school so I can count to 100. But I can nearly count to 2 and on my initial calculation “fake news” is about, give or take one or two, 2 words.
So it can’t be this year’s “word”.
George: So does that make the fake news word news “fake news”.
Ewan: I guess it does.
George: Is all this that we write here “fake news”.
Ewan: No, “fake news” is untrue news – made up news.
George: Are you telling me all that crap about “Strictly” is true, honest to goodness real life news.
Ewan: It sure is Georgie Boy!
George: In that case I think we need to start putting some fake news in this blog to make it look as if we have a life.
By the way, news just in…have you seen the line up for “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here” which starts on ITV on Sunday?
Ewan: No it is banned in our house.
Dad says when they start having real celebrities on he’ll watch it.
George: Boris Johnson’s dad is one of the celebs.
Ewan: I think that’s a bit of fake news, George.
I don’t think Boris has a dad.
George: If “I’m a Celebrity” is on it must be nearly Christmas.
Ewan: Just 37 sleeps to go, or so I hear.
George: Numbers don’t mean a thing to me but that doesn’t sound a lot.
Ewan: It could be fake news of course.
George: I do feel sleepy so that’ll be another sleep nearer, no matter how many there are.
Ewan: I feel sleepy too.
George: Bye Bye, Ewan. Zzzzzzz…
Ewa: Bye Bye, Georgie Boy. Maximum Zs.