A SPECIAL GUIDE TO HANGING OUT WASHING
jeanniejeanniejeannie.co.uk BLOG Monday 3rd May 2021
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A SPECIAL GUIDE TO HANGING OUT WASHING
There is something good, fresh and invigorating about seeing a line of washing blowing vigorously in a mild wind drying. But to me you just hang out the washing. Leave it a couple of hours and bring it in and then iron it. Job done. Simple.
Only in America would they come up with a detailed guide to hanging out the washing.
Admittedly, it was an American newspaper. Our transatlantic cousins are great ones for setting up a workshop, whether it be for locating your inner self or braiding nasal hair, but lessons in laundry?
Being American, they went into some detail, involving checklists, sustainable rope for lines and ecologically sensitive pegs. There was a diagram of how to hang up shirts and jumpers. There were instructions on checking weather reports to make sure you had enough sunshine.
Checking weather? Is it raining/snowing/apocalyptic storms? Right now? No, then get the sheets out.
Scotland has never had the luxury of waiting until Mother Nature played nice. Other nations regard sunny days as an opportunity to fire up the barbie. We see glorious weather and our thoughts turn to getting a washing out, but we’ll try our luck on days as grim as Gordon Brown’s temper.
Rain roulette is a Scottish skill. We’ll scan the skies with weather-watchers eyes and think, what’s my chances of getting this dry before that cloud literally rains on my parade?
It’s a game for all the family. Should I, or any pegging-out parent, leave the house, stern instructions will be fired out to keep all eyes peeled like demented Air Raid Wardens and move like raptors lest one raindrop hits the good bedding – 400 thread count, mate, it’s quality stuff.
The article extolled a mild breeze. I’ve rescued knickers from gardens two postcodes away. I’ve seen duvet covers fly over the Forth to Fife. Sometimes I worry for renewable energy farms. Can wind powered turbines function festooned with fly-away fabric?
They wittered about temperature. I’ve taken sheets from icy lines and they’ve cracked. Shirts frozen stiff.
It’s like the Americans have just discovered hingin’ oot. Imagine living in Arizona. Where’s the challenge in hanging laundry out there? It’s practically an extreme sport over here.
We should punt a TV show called “Peggin’ Out: Scottish Style”. Three teams of Yanks, pegging out a duvet set during a howling gale with snow moving in. That’s hanging out laundry.
TOP TEN OF THE DAY
The Top 10: Bad losers
- Edward Heath sulked the “longest sulk in history” after he was defeated by Margaret Thatcher in the Conservative leadership election of 1975, until he retired from the House of Commons in 2001 (long after she had left in 1992).
- The Australian cricket team, who didn’t like it up them in the bodyline Ashes series, 1932-33.
- Honduras, which started a war after losing at football to El Salvador, 1969.
- Catiline. After twice losing the election for consul, he decided to overthrow the republic, only for his plot to be discovered by Cicero. Fleeing Rome, he was killed in battle by Mark Antony’s uncle.
- Alexander Lukashenko, president of Belarus, who clearly lost the August 2020 election, but who hung on to office telling his people there would be no more elections “until you kill me”.
- John McEnroe. Fined $1,500 after his “You cannot be serious” outburst in his first-round match against Tom Gullikson, Wimbledon 1981, when he called the umpire “the pits of the world”. He lost the point, but went on to win the tournament (against Bjorn Borg).
- Sir George Wharton and Sir James Stuart, who fought a duel over who had lost at a game of cards in 1609. They ended up killing each other, and making material for a ballad by Walter Scott.
- The #FBPE crowd. Some Remainers didn’t entirely accept the result of the 2016 referendum (FBPE is a Twitter abbreviation for Follow Back, Pro-Europe).
- Jeremy Corbyn, who insisted he “won the argument” despite securing the worst result for Labour since 1935..
- Jacques Parizeau, premier of Quebec, after the independence referendum in 1995, when he blamed “money and ethnic votes” in a televised tirade.
BONUS: And of course we cannot leave out Donald Trump for still refusing to accept he lost the 2020 US Presidential Election.
SPECIAL DAYS CELEBRATED ON
- Garden Meditation Day
- Lumpy Rug Day
- Paranormal Day
- Two Different Colored Shoes Day
- Public Radio Day
- World Press Freedom Day
DON’T FORGET TO LAUGH EVERYDAY
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE FOR THE DAY
You must be the change you wish to see in the world. – Mahatma Gandhi
Happiness is… watching nice clean washing blowing in the wind. (In the nicest possible way of course.)
GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower!
Love is…something that changes your life for ever and ever.
A time to hang out your washing on the line…A time to fetch your washing in dry.
1968: Surgeons conduct UK’s first heart transplant
Britain’s first heart transplant was successfully carried out today by a team of 18 doctors and nurses at the National Heart Hospital in Marylebone, London.
Britain’s first heart transplant patient, who was later named Frederick West, died 46 days after receiving the donor heart.
The hospital said he died from an “overwhelming infection” which he had been fighting for nine days.
1978 First unsolicited bulk commercial e-mail (“spam”) is sent by a Digital Equipment Corporation marketing representative to every ARPANET address on the US west coast
1926 Britain’s fist and only General Strike occurred in May 1926 and was quickly defeated by volunteers and a cunning plan by Winston Churchill.
LITTLE NUMBERS: SOME HORRBLE SOME NICE
©2021 Phil M Robinson