CORONABOBS ISOLATION DAY 3 – Diary of a Self-Isolator

CORONABOBS ISOLATION DAY 3 – Diary of a Self-Isolator

jeanniejeanniejeannie.co.uk BLOG Saturday 21st March 2020

CORONABOBS ISOLATION DAY 3 – Wednesday 18th March 2020 – Diary of a Self-Social-Isolator “THE ISOLTOR”

I’m working on getting my Diary of a Self-Social-Isolator up to date today. By the end of today I hope to have posted: Day 3, Day 4 and Day 5

Boris has taken the 5 o’clock slot on TV to address the nation everyday about Coronavirus. It’s a bit like a late afternoon “One Show” or “This Morning” but without Matt Baker, Philip Schofield or Holly Willoughby. Boris is flanked either side with people like the Chief Medical Officer and someone else. But the show is a low budget job. There is no budget for a couch. The presenters have to stand. And there is no budget for celebrity guests.

To keep viewing figures high Boris makes a major unexpected never heard before announcement that shocks the country. Everyone tunes in to hear what it is.

Today’s announcement, to gasps from the whole nation was:

  1. Schools, Colleges, Universities close from 3.30pm Friday – FOREVER! Or until the Coronavirus Pandemic is over whichever is sooner.
  2. All exams, GCSE and ‘A’ Levels have been cancelled this year

Boris knows how to work an audience. Start low, gradually build the severity and excitement making each day’s announcement more shocking and far reaching than the day before, until at the end you have worked them into a frenzy.

Monday – It was People over 70 to Self-Isolate. Tuesday- Everyone to work from home and Church Services, Large Gatherings and Glastonbury Cancelled. Wednesday – Schools to close, Exams cancelled English football cancelled until April.

Where will it end? I think after all these announcements the only thing that could top it all is Boris declaring he is gay.

What did I do on my third day of isolation?

I am involved in a couple of community things and ended up spending my day dealing with them.

Decisions needed to be made about the local Village Hall. Numbers needed to be looked at. My speciality is looking at numbers. That’s all I do just stare at the numbers. How does that help anyone I hear you say? I’ve no idea but it passes the time when in self-isolation.

I am also editor of the Parish News. I spent Wednesday getting the April edition out to subscribers. My bit towards the Coronavirus Pandemic. Giving folk something to read and amuse them whilst they are self-isolating.

I put up my feet, tired out but totally satisfied at my day’s work in helping the community. The telephone rang. It was the vicar. He said I’d distributed the Parish News too early. He had a letter about the Coronavirus outbreak to go out to everyone in it. He asked me to collect them all back in and redistribute with the letter.

The lesson I learned on Day 3 therefore was “In the Coronavirus Pandemic Do Not Distribute Parish News Too Early”.

To help you here are 50 More Things You Should Never Do During the Coronavirus Pandemic.

 

50 Things You Should Never Do During the Coronavirus Pandemic

1              First of All, Don’t Panic!

2              Then Again, Don’t Think You’re Immune

3              We’ll Start With the Obvious: Don’t Forget to Wash Your Hands

4              Don’t Touch Your Face

5              Don’t Wash Your Hands for Less Than 20 Seconds

6              Don’t forget, always Wash Your Hands With Soap

7              Don’t Sneeze or Cough Openly

8              Don’t Touch Door Handles (If You Can Help It) or public handrails

9              Don’t forget to Adhere to Social Distancing Recommendations

10           Don’t Attend Large Gatherings

11           Don’t Go to Restaurants and Bars

12           Don’t Shake Hands

13           Don’t Hoard Face Masks

14           Don’t Hoard Food

15           Don’t Go to an ER Unless You’re Seriously

16           Don’t Drink Too Much Alcohol

17           Don’t Sleep Less

18           Don’t Let Anxiety Take Over

19           Don’t Forget to Check in With Others

20           Don’t Stop Exercising

21           Don’t Eat Poorly

22           Don’t Share Bogus Information – (Like I’m doing with this post)

23           Don’t Totally Avoid Nature

24           Don’t Forgrt: Self-Quarantine If You Suspect You’ve Been Exposed

25           Don’t forget to Self-Isolate If You Suspect You’ve Been Infected

26           Don’t Touch Shopping Trolleys

27           Don’t Touch Elevator Buttons

28           Don’t Stock Up on Simple Carbs

29           Don’t ignore the Advice to Disinfect Your Cell Phone

30           Don’t Feel Helpless to Help Others

31           Don’t Forget to Wash Your Hand Towels

32           Don’t Use Hand Sanitizer That’s Less Than 60% Alcohol

33           Don’t Skip a Vitamin D Supplement

34           Don’t Skip the Flu jab

35           Don’t Let Your Blood Pressure Rise

36           Don’t Skip the Veggies

37           Don’t Handle Cash (If You Can Help It)

38           Don’t Touch a Public Screen Or Keypad (Without Washing Your Hands)

39           Don’t Go to Religious Services (There aren’t any anyway)

40           Don’t Use a Community Pen (I think the list writer is starting to scrape the barrel here)

41           Don’t Blame Others (He she definitely is scraping it)

42           Don’t Have Elective Health Procedures

43           Don’t Take a Cruise

44           Don’t Take Children to Playgrounds

45           Don’t Go Out When You’re Sick

46           Don’t fail to Disinfect “High-Touch” Surfaces

47           Don’t Pay £96.14 For a Bottle of Hand Sanitizer or £2,741.31 for a single sheet of toilet paper

48           Don’t Close-Talk

49           Don’t Visit the Grandparents (or Your Grandkids) In Person

50           Don’t Read Stupid Lists Like This One

 

…and one great big bonus one:

DON’T FORGET TO LAUGH EVERYDAY

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE FOR THE DAY

Laugh every day.

HAPPINESS IS…

Happiness is…looking (staring) at numbers

GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY

We’ll we’ll we’ll…if it isn’t autocorrect

LOVE IS…

Love is… being his calendar girl for every month of the year

 

 

 

©2020 Phil M Robinson