Ewan 2½ Blogs about HALLOWEEN HOLIDAY WEEK 1.11.2017
Hi Ewan here.
Phew! I’m out of breath. What a week. Such a steep learning curve this has been.
No one told me it was Half Term Holiday. I woke up on Monday morning oblivious and there it was October Halloween Half Term Holiday.
I assume Mum arranges Half Term Holidays because like our birthday parties the holiday didn’t hit the exact day. Half term holiday was from Saturday 21st October to Sunday 29th October, inclusive. Halloween is Tuesday 31st October when we are back at Nursery (or school if you are on Planet 5).
So, the big excitement seems to be about Halloween and gaining an extra hour at the end of Half Term Holiday Week. Why can’t we have an extra hour every week?
Grandad said it was important that everyone used the extra hour wisely, not just sleep through it.
He is so right. Fortunately he and Mamma were babysitting Saturday night. Bother Rory went to bed and to sleep as usual, But for me rather than go to bed at 7.30pm I insisted and made sure I stayed up and awake until Mum & Dad returned at 11.00pm. Wow, that gave me an extra three and a half hours. That’s what is called making the most of your extra hour.
Our week revolved around Halloween. For a start there was day after day of frigging Halloween trails. Find the bats. Find the spiders. And they weren’t even frigging real ones. Life can be disappointing at times.
It wasn’t disappointing on Friday though, we went to a zoo. Oh, yes, Grandad says it is not PC to call them zoos any more, they are “wildlife parks”. How can that be? There is lots of poo at the zoo, rhymes. There is lots of poo at the wildlife park. Doesn’t rhyme so you can’t change it, it is not so funny, in fact it is not funny at all.
At the Wildlife Park we saw real, yes, real and live lions and tigers, zebras and giraffes and baboons and polar bears (even though it was not cold and there was no snow) and monkeys and… and… It was an amazing place. Madagascar (my favourite film) live!
Grandad doesn’t approve of me using exclamation marks but how else do I get across how exciting it was!
The lions and tigers were so real. You could touch them if your parents would only let you, instead of saying “No you can’t go in the lion compound, Ewan.” That spoilt it a bit for me that I could not stroke the lion or tiger. But not much.
I believe the zoo, whoops, sorry wildlife park are missing an important marketing opportunity with the tigers. They could make a play on the Tiger Who Came to Tea by Judith Kerr book theme and could advertise “Come to Tea with a Tiger” and charge 10 trillion pounds. My mum and dad would pay that for me and Brother Rory to have tea with a tiger. My dad can afford anything, he could even afford to buy me a parrot, not real but a toy one, for doing well at my swimming lesson, and he even bought Brother Rory a DC Comics Batman Bat Hand Spinner, not just an average cheap spinner.
I think Brother Rory might be a bit scared to have tea with a tiger in case the tiger ate him up for his tea. I wouldn’t be scared. Nothing scares me.
Grandad knows this poem about a lion eating a little boy who was eaten by a lion and he says that’s why I shouldn’t go near the lion.
Here’s the poem:https://rujokinggrandad.co.uk/albert-lion-stanley-holloway
But the lion ate Albert because Albert poked him with a horses head handle. You can understand the lion eating him, then. I wouldn’t do that because I don’t have a horse’s head handle. I’d love one but Dad won’t buy me one. I think he’s scared I might get eaten by a lion, if I have one.
The reason my dad has loads-a money is because he doesn’t spend it. At the zoo, sorry wildlife park, he made us walk right through the shop and would not let us look or buy anything. There were loads of great things to buy too.
When we went to the wildlife park – got it right – Grandad came with us and he had to sit on the back seat with me and Brother Rory. We didn’t have a baby seat for him and he is so fat he almost took some of my seat up and Rory’s. But it was so much fun having him there. He talked so much telling Grandad jokes that Rory and me didn’t sleep like we usually do on car journeys. He just kept us awake
The fun did not end with just going to the zoo. We then went to McDonalds. Grandad had this Big! Big! Big! Big Mac which meant that there was even less room in the back of the car for Rory and me.
I bet your thinking that’s got to be where the fun ends. But that’s where you’d be completely wrong, We then went to Krew Cuts, in Newark to have our haircut. I’ve explained before how I love that place. The lady who cuts our hair knows what I need almost more than Mum. How does she do that?
It says on their website: “We at Krew Cuts are passionate about delivering the whole haircut experience for children; being patient and helping some overcome their fear of having a haircut as some children are genuinely terrified,” But not me. Nothing terrifies me.
I did chose wrong on the TV though. I went for Peppa Pig – kids stuff, this other boy had something far better on his TV. I don’t know what it was every time I turned to look the hairdresser turned my head back. But I didn’t mind because she gave me a box of raisins to eat and Brother Rory a lollipop at the end.
And then we came out and it was so dark. It was as black as night. In fact it was the night, the middle of the night because we had done so much. Even the moon had come out. Grandad said it was laughing at us. I couldn’t hear it.
I finally remembered, I was not scared of: haircuts, lions, tigers, giraffes, zebras, snails, worms, ghosts, witches, bats, spiders, monsters, vampires, Dracula or chickens. But I am terrified of the dark.
The problem is there may be haircuts, lions, tigers, giraffes, zebras, snails, worms, ghosts, witches, bats, spiders, monsters, vampires, Dracula or chickens waiting in the dark just to get you. Best have the light on just in case.
I went to loads of Halloween parties and events in the week and swimming and soft play. Halloween stuff is all about scaring you but it leaves me cold. Over my head it goes. So boring. What’s it all about? Give me Santa any day and that’s saying something because he’s a weirdo.
And out of all the week what were the Top 5 Best Things I Did In Halloween Half Term Holiday Week:
- Visit the Zoo – sorry Wildlife Park
- Our very own Halloween Party. Mum and Dad did a brilliant job and invited all our cousins. Fandabbydozy!
- Being dressed up as a bumble bee at Terrific (Grandad says “Terrible” )Twos
I really felt the right shape for the part. Grandad says that’s because I’m same shape as he. My costume was unique too. I have seen a hundred trillion kids dressed up for Halloween, ghosts, witches, vampires, monsters and Draculas but no one thought of dressing up as a bee. It’s cool to be different.
- Having a haircut.
- Staying awake to take advantage of the extra hour.
- Going to McDonalds
OK, so I can’t count but I am only 2½
So, what’s next? Ah, finally, Halloween Night, but aren’t we Halloweened out?
Bye Bye, Ewan