Ewan: 2½ yrs & George 16 mnths – Red & Blue Theme News Blog

Ewan: 2½ years old & George 16 months old NEWS BLOG 4th October 2017

Ewan:                    Hi, Ewan here. Though I would get in quick before George, so it puts him off…

George:                  George here. Welcome to my world. Won’t you come on in?

Ewan:                    …saying that irritating opening thing!

Grrrr! Too late.

George:                  So what news has inspired us this week do you think, Ewam?

Ewan:                    Chizzy Akudolu, of Casualtyis the first Celebrity to leave Strictly Come Dancing 2017.

George:                  Let’s not talk that again it is so boring to do the same subject twice.

Ewan:                    You’re only saying that because Strictly completely trounced its competitors in the ratings battle: most notably X Factor, which attracted an average of 4.9 million viewers – almost half the whopping 9.3 million people who tuned in to watch the second episode of this year’s Strictly on 30th September.

George:                  Leave it, Ewan. There is so much other news going on, rather than going over old ground.

What about the Party Conference Season. We are apparently in the midst of it.

Ewan:                    We certainly are.

It was Brother Rory’s Party on Sunday. You and I had a great time.

George:                  I know but it wasn’t on TV like these grown ups who are partying.

Ewan:                    But because they are grown up they don’t have fun parties, they just seem to talk.

George:                  I know. What’s Brexit?

Ewan:                    It’s just a word adults make up and talk about to make out they are more intelligent than us children.

George:                  Yes, Ewan, but it doesn’t work because we see through them.

Ewan:                    I can’t work out whose birthday party it is at these Party Conferences but they all have a lot of friends.

George:                  The theme of Cousin Rory’s party was Trolls.

These adult ones are so dull. One has red…

Ewan:                    I know and the other is blue.

George:                  Typical adults…

Ewan:                    …dull, boring and unimaginative.

George:                  Where are the parties. I’ve not seen them at Hucknall Leisure Centre, where Rory’s was held. And they are definitely not at Coddington Village Hall?

Are they at McDonalds, or maybe Ed’s Barn or the Burrows?

Ewan:                    No, one at Manchester and one at Brighton. There are other adult colour theme parties too.

George:                  Manchester? What’s there? You can tell an adult organised that. They have no idea, do they?

Ewan:                    No, but the Red themed party is at Brighton and Brighton is a seaside place. Red’s my favourite colour too.

George:                  My favourite colour is blue but I do like the seaside best. So I think I prefer the seaside.

Have you seen the lady who has the blue theme party, she’s like Mamma.

Ewan:                    George, don’t let Mamma hear you say that, she’ll give you some fist.

George:                  And that big clumsy bloke that’s always with her, he’s mad like Grandad.

Ewan;                    Nobody’s that mad.

George:                  The bloke who threw the Red party keeps going on about Capitalism not working. What’s he mean.

Ewan:                    When you learn letters you have small letters “like this”.

There are also “CAPITAL LETTERS LIKE THIS”.

George:                  Oh I get it.

He wants to make all letters small letters, with no capitals.

Ewan:                    It does sound sensible. Why have two sets of different letters saying the same thing?

George:                  Yes, I agree. I hope he gets that sorted quick before we have to learn letters.

Ewan:                    Imagine the time it would save us only having one set of letters to learn.

George:                  What are you going to do with all that extra time in your life.

Ewan:                    I shall watch the film Madagascar, again and again.

Grandad doesn’t seem to have much time for the Party Conference goers.

George:                  I assume that is sour grapes because he didn’t get an invite to any of the parties.

Ewan:                    But he must like the people at both parties because he said they were clowns and everybody loves clowns.

George:                  Unless they are scary clowns.

But although Grandad says they are clowns I’ve not seen any wearing clown make-up or a clown costume.

Ewan:                    Except the big blond haired clumsy guy. His clothes look like a clown’s suit and his hair looks clownish.

George:                But on the front pages of the newspaper they say he is a lion.

Ewan:                   I like lions, my very favourite animal because they roar and I can roar.

George:                 Talking of clowns, which we were,  did you know Grandad’s listening to this Tony Blackbird guy on the radio who, on Saturday 30th September, played the same records in the         same order as he did on Saturday 30th September 60 years ago, 1967.

Ewan:                    Why would you want to do that? What a waste of life. Grandad is more senile than I thought.

Does Mum know?

Does Mamma know?

George:                  Apparently it is to celebrate 50 years since Radio 1, 2, 3, and 4 started up.

Ewan:                    Whoever thought up those radio station names needed an award for creative thinker of the year.

George:                  Did you know that before 1967 you could play records out at sea, if you had records on land dinosaurs ate them?

Ewan:                    But listening to those records in the same order 50 years later? I don’t get that. I don’t think you’ll get me doing that on 30th September 2067, there’s too many exciting things to do.

George:                  Exactly, Ewan. Why are we even wasting life putting this blog together?

We should be digging for worms, chasing snails and watching  “101Dalmaticians” for the 1001st time,

Ewan:                    Sorry I need to correct you there: “Madagascar” for the 1001st time. And running full speed around the table hundreds of times.

George:                  And don’t forget pooing in your nappy. Just simply pooing in your nappy.

Ewan:                    Wow, George, just with those things, we have so much exciting living to pack into our lives.

George:                  Sure thing Ewan.

Bye Bye.

Ewan:                   By the way he’s put Radio 1’s first chart in our blog, 30th September 1967, Bye Bye.

George:                How very dare he.  – Bye

© 2017 Phil Robinson rujokinggrandad.co.uk