Ewan (3 yrs) George (2 yrs) Blog Together About The Royal Wedding
jeanniejeanniejeannie.co.uk BLOG 21st May 2018
THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY
Ewan: Hi George. Hi Everyone.
George: Hi. Let me welcome you all to my world, in fact our world. Mine and Ewan’s.
Ewan: George! You know how that winds me up.
George: I know, but won’t you come on in?
Anyway, what are we doing?
Ewan: Blogging together.
George: But we are banned.
Grandad has stopped us as people who read his blog don’t particularly like it, us blogging together.
Ewan: George, who is writing this Blog:
George: Me and you, Ewan.
And after all it is an historical day we are blogging about.
George: Hysterical day, you mean
Ewan: You can say that again.
George: Hysterical day.
Ewan: That is such an old Grandad joke. I hate to say it but it’s older than Grandad himself.
George: As I am the joker in this double act, I need to in as many jokes as I can, no matter what their quality.
Ewan: You are so not the joker, I am. You are the straight man of the double act.
George: I don’t want to be the straight man. I’m the joker, and the bad cop.
Ewan: No… You’re the straight man and very definitely the good cop. I’m the joker and the bad cop.
George: I think we’ll have to agree to disagree and both be the joker and bad cop.
Ewan: Sounds good to me, but will it work?
George: Let’s move on before we lose all our followers and talk about the historical day of Saturday 19th May 2018.
Remind me, why was it an historical day?
Ewan: Because I moved up to my next level of Football Class and I was brilliant at it, taking to it like a duck
to water. And it was the day of the joint birthday party for my Auntie Parveen and Auntie Debra.
George: No…no…nooooo! That’s not the official reason it was historical.
You can tell you’ve not got a sister.
There was a royal wedding. And it was for real, not a Disney film or a Grimms Fairy Tale. It dominated our TV. All Channels.
Ewan: And they played the FA Cup too.
George: Yes, me and Dad tried concentrating on that, but in our house the Prince getting married overshadowed everything.
It is another grownup bodge up just like my birthday. Two major events on the same day.
Ewan: But necessary, George. If it was just the Royal Wedding what would the fellas do whilst the females watched it?
George: Ewan, you can’t say that! It’s sexist! The fellas have to watch the wedding too and the females have to watch the football. That is the law.
Ewan: Not in our house. In the morning I played football and watched football on TV in the late afternoon.
George: Didn’t you see the wedding on TV at all, then?
Ewan: Only a bit on the news.
What was the best bit of the wedding?
George: You are asking the wrong person if you are asking me.
I thought the best bit was when I thought Lightning McQueen was appearing at the wedding to give it a Disney Princess flavour.
I thought the commentator said “Meghan’s mother and Lightning McQueen”. But he said, “ Meghan’s mother likes the Queen”.
I also thought he said: “The Duchess of Cambridge, arrives at St George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle in Lightning McQueen.” But I misheard. He really said “The Duchess of Cambridge, arrives at St George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle wearing Alexander McQueen.”
Ewan: As it wasn’t a Disney film I assumed it was a Lego Movie.
George: No it was real live people doing real live things.
Ewan: But the wedding was at Legoland because they kept saying it was Windsor on the News and Windsor is Legoland.
Have you been to Windsor Legoland.
George: No. I’d love to though
I guess, I’d not realised but now you say, the wedding was in a castle and it probably was made of white Lego bricks. But the people were not Lego figures.
Ewan: Are you sure? They do make them very realistic these days.
George: Apparently there were 6 bridesmaids all under seven years old and 4 page boys.
But what I can’t understand is in these days of PC shouldn’t they have also had bridesboys and page girls.
Ewan: You are not wrong there, George.
George: Were you a page boy for Meghan, Ewan?
Ewan: No. I had football to play.Where you?
George: I’m not sure, I might have been asked and at my age I’m very open, I do not mind which, bridesmaid or page boy.
Ewan: But you watched the wedding on TV?
Ewan: Did you see yourself in it as a bridesmaid or page boy?
Ewan: Then, they didn’t choose you.
George: Oh, why not? I wonder if it is because I throw things.
Ewan: Probably. In fact – definitely.
George: That is so unfair. They should not penalise me for throwing.
It is the phase I happen to be in.
If I am to grow up as a well rounded solid individual I have to go through a throwing phase. You just can’t avoid it.
It is just one of those things
Ewan: Don’t take it so personal, George.
It’s the same concept and rules as those for being chosen to play Josef or Mary in the school or nursery nativity.
George: What concept is that then, Ewan?
Ewan: If your face fits and you’re the teacher’s pet the part’s yours, no matter how crap you are.
And our faces don’t fit.
They are Grandad’s words not mine and he speaks from bitter experience.
It really is just one of those things.
George: But Grandad says he was a Page Boy when he was 3 or 4 years old and to an Elizabeth at her wedding.
Ewan: I wonder if it was the Queen?
George: With Grandad being so old it must have been Queen Elizabeth I
Ewan: Couldn’t be, she didn’t marry.
Grandad’s Elizabeth was just a commoner. Just an ordinary person they dragged in off the street because Grandad wanted to be a page boy.
George: But he told me it was horrible. They made him hold hands with a girl! To have their photo taken. She was the bridesmaid and really old. She was 7 years old would you believe?
Did he also tell you that he, Grandad cried and wouldn’t do it.
George: Yes, Good old Grandad!
Ewan: And you still wanted to be a page boy.
George: No! Grandad said not to be. So I thought I fancied being a bridesmaid.
Ewan: Did you know the good thing about a Royal Wedding is they’ll have lots more Royal children our age for us to marry. In fact, there will soon be enough for each of us regular kids in the country to marry into the Royal Family.
George: But if we do we become commoners and I ain’t no commoner. I’m special, my Mum, Mamma and Nanny tell me that.
Ewan: And I want to marry a footballer’s wife.
George: You can’t marry someone else’s wife.
Ewan Not someone else’s wife. I mean I want my own wife to be a footballer’s wife. I am desperate to be a footballer, if I become a footballer my wife will be a footballer’s wife.
George: Got you.
Sister Freya was in front of the TV watching the Royal Wedding all day mesmerised. You could not move her.
I think she secretly dreams that Prince George will marry her.
Ewan: No, that would be too confusing if her husband had the same name as her brother.
George: It’s not that confusing because his first name is Prince.
But why do girls have stupid dreams of marrying Princes. Why don’t they dream something more realistic like marrying a footballer and becoming a Footballer’s Wife?
George: The problem with football is that it’s fixed.
Ewan: What do you mean, George
George: My Dad says Liverpool are the best team in the world. Grandad Reed says Newcastle are so it should have been Liverpool v Newcastle in the FA cup.
Ewan: I think it may be a matter of opinion , George.
Anyway, talking football I need to get out there practicing. You coming George, Best put your shoes on.
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE FOR THE DAY
There’s always a little truth behind every “Just kidding” A little curiosity behind every “Just wondering” A little knowledge behind every “I didn’t know” and a little emotion behind every “I don’t care”
Happiness is…the greatest thing
GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY
My wife… its difficult to say what she does… she sells seashells on the seashore.
Love is…making sure you have quality time together
TRACK OF THE DAY
The Time Warp – Damian
Highest Chart Position: No.7 16th September 1989