Ewan (3 yrs) George (2 yrs) Blog Together – SEASIDE HOLIDAY
jeanniejeanniejeannie.co.uk BLOG 2018
THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY
George: Welcome to our world. Won’t you come on in?
Ewan: George, me old pal, me old beauty, it’s been a long time, I expected you to have grown up and got over using all that crap.
George: Those words are good and true. In Fact they are so good that one day someone will turn them into a song and have a No.1 with it.
Grandad: Sorry to interrupt boys, but they already have done. ‘Welcome To My World” was recorded by Jim Reeves and got to No.6 on 11 July 1963. Not quite a No.1.
George: There you are smart-pants Ewan Monks, told you.
Ewan: That does not count as it is before time began.
Anyway we are wasting time.
One: this is our first blog for ages
Two: that is why it’s the two of us together, even though followers don’t care for us appearing together. I can’t think why.
Three: I am so good, I’ve gone up to the Pre-school section at nursery.
George: Don’t know why they’ve promoted you to pre-school you can’t even count. You said you had two things to say and went on to say THREE!
Ewan: Whooo! Hark at George. We all know what you’ve been doing this summer, George, learning to count.
George: Clearly someone needs to.
Ewan: Anyway, this summer has been so busy for us trying to pack in all of life’s new experiences, hasn’t it George?
George: Wow, yes. I’ve been rushed off my feet, I did not know which way to turn. I did not even have time to eat my meals or sleep. All as my Mum would say.
Ewan: I know, George. Our mum’s get so wound up about their pressurised life and end up stressed out.
George: We have exactly the same pressures but we take it in our stride.
Ewan: Exactly, we have so many life experiences to do every single day but you never hear us stressing out.
George: So where do we start on telling the story of our Summer Holiday Adventure.
Ewan: I think the best place to start is at the very beginning.
George: Oh yes, the day I was born. I remember it well, a beautiful sunny day. I thought I’ll pop out and everyone will say “Welcome to my world”.
Ewan: No, no, George!
Do you know, I’m worried about you, you are obsessed?
George: I’m not fat, I don’t even eat that much, I restrain myself.
Ewan: Obsessed, George, not obese!
Ewan: Shut it, George or at least stop typing for a minute.
Ewan: I meant back to the start of our Summer Holidays 2018.
George: Ok, sorry, but it was a brill day when I was born – the best decision I ever made in life was to get born.
Ewan: George – HOLIDAYS!
George: Yes, what’s the point of them?
Ewan: My point too.
George: The only good thing about holidays is that me and Sister Freya got to live in a house with you and Cousin Rory and Mamma and Grandad for a week.
Ewan: I do strongly agree, George.
George: So what is so good about holidays?
Ewan: I can list the Top Ten bad things about them.
George: Can you count to 10 then, Ewan?
Ewan: Of course I can count to 10 I could before you were born.
George: I’ll help you.
Ewan: Ok, here goes:
- To get there you are stuck in the car for 8 hours strapped into a car seat and no place to go and only allowed one book and one toy that once it drops on the floor is gone forever.
George: 2. Your Mum stresses out far more than normal for two whole weeks before causing a lesser quality of life for us.
Ewan: 3. We have to leave all our favourite toys and books at home and can only take five of each. How ridiculous is that? I have thought of complaining to the The European Court of Human Rights or ECHR for short about the situation.
George: I’m right behind you there.
Ewan: Yes, I know, so can you stand in front of me so that I can see what you are doing, please?
George: Who sounds like his Mom now then?
Ewan: To continue:
- Then you are physically manhandled into the sea. We leave the comfort of the swimming pool behind for the sea. In contrast to the pool the sea is cold, we are not allowed to swim in it (yet I know I could easily swim a width of the sea if they’d let me) and our parents cling to us at all times because they are scared of it. So what’s the point? And there’s supposed to be Sharks in the sea. Did you see any?
George: 5. Can’t say I did.
Then there is that massive field of sand. It’s a bit overwhelming if you ask me. Far bigger than the lovely sandpit we’ve left behind at nursery.
Ewan: 6. We go crabbing but what’s the point of that? We can’t do the catching, we can’t hold the crabs, we can’t keep them as pets, we can’t eat them. We just put them back.
George: Yes, pointless.
- We have to sleep in Mum and Dad’s bedroom…
Ewan: Yes, like newborn babies. Coo, ca, coo, chi coo.
- I miss my mates from nursery. As Mum & Dad do not allow me a phone I can’t keep in touch. As I’ve just gone up to the Pre-school Section I need to be there establishing my position as a leader of the pack before some other nerd does it.
George: I fear for you on that one, Ewan.
- It is my responsibility to wake the household at 5.30am every morning. A huge responsibility I have had since birth. With a house full of 10 people which includes two Golden Oldies that’s such a difficult task and life on holiday was no holiday for me.
Ewan: I do sympathise George but that’s not a genuine negative about holidays for all of us. So I will add No.9.
- We never visited a McDonalds during our holiday, not one. We went to Rick Stein’s Fish & Chip Shop in Padstow, but hardly the same. Rick Stein does not have a clue. Where’s his Happy Meal, then? And there was no free toy. A meal is not a meal without a free toy. Mean b*******. And you needed to take out a mortgage to pay for it. (Or so Grandad says.)
George: Yes, I was guttered that there was no McDonalds. How could my Dad let us go somewhere where there was no McDonalds? He’s losing it. He’s lived with my Mum too long.
And so to No.10. And that has to be the drive home. Four of us cooped up in a tiny car for eight hours and Mum and Dad putting pressure on me to sleep. I don’t sleep in the day (nor most of the night), just think of the life I am missing. And then it started to rain. It had not rained all week why start on the journey home?
Ewan: I do agree with your No.10 although we called off at an aquarium which was brilliant. Trouble was Grandad told me about a family who went to a zoo and smuggled a shark out in a buggy. He asked me to do that at the Aquarium, but my parents stopped me.
George: Parents, eh. They just have no idea what makes life tick do they?
So that’s the 10 Reasons Ewan & George Think You Should Not Go On Holiday.
Ewan: But hold on Grandad says he has just read some research that says holidays are good for you.
“Giving yourself a break away from the office could extend your life expectancy research suggests. The study was based on the results of a 40-year scientific study published by the University of Helsinki this week.
“Scientists say men who took fewer than three weeks of annual vacation were found to be 37 percent more likely of dying compared to those who took three weeks or more.
“The study examined more than 1,200 men born between 1919 and 1934 and recruited for the study between 1974 and 1975. The participants in the study had at least one risk factor for cardiovascular disease and were observed for the next 40 years. Half of the subjects were assigned a health program, while the other half were not given any instructions on their fitness levels.”
George: I can’t see that.
Ewan: I don’t think we should chance not going on holiday, though.
George: No, I suppose, on reflection, what you say is right.
We just have to grit our teeth and get in as many holidays as we can.
Ewan: Maybe because holidays are so dire life drags on and it appears you are living longer than you are when in real terms you live the same length of time whether you go on holiday or not.
George: I’m not taking any chances, from now on my life will be one long vacation.
Ewan: I’ve nothing to lose by joining you.
George: Bye Bye.
Ewan: Bye and Happy Summer Holiday, in fact Happy Holiday For Life.
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE FOR THE DAY
Your children have only one childhood, make it memorable.
Happiness is…a beach holiday no matter the time of year
GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY
Me and my brother inherited some furniture from the zoo. I’m pleased to say I got the lion’s chair. – Tim Vine
Love is…someone who makes you laugh more and worry less
TRACK OF THE DAY
. Welcome To My World by Jim Reeves
Highest Chart Position: No. 6 11 July 1963
©2018 Phil M Robinson