Ewan (4 yrs) George (2 yrs almost 3 yrs) Blog Together
Grandad’s 70th Birthday Week Extravaganza
jeanniejeanniejeannie.co.uk BLOG Saturday 4th May 2019
George: Hi George here. Welcome to my world. Won’t you come on in?
Ewan: Oh no, George, you are not still using that tired, old **** are you?
George: It is not tired and it is certainly not old. I think it is a very welcoming greeting for anyone reading our Blog.
Ewan: But the reason we’ve not blogged together is because Grandad says users to our Blog prefer to read our separate Blogs and he loses visitors if we Blog together. And I can understand that with you rabbitting on with such out of date catchphrases.
George: It is not out of date it, is slick and cool.
Anyway, we are not here to discuss my phrase of introduction. That would put even more people off.
Ewan: Exactly. Our brief is for a Birthday Blog.
George: Yes, birthdays, and in particular my birthday next week.
I am so excited!
Ewan: No George, don’t tell me you have missed the point of us blogging together.
George: Course I didn’t, but I couldn’t contain my excitement about my birthday nor resist the opportunity to get a plug in for it.
Ewan: So you do know our Blog is a review of Grandad’s birthday.
George: I just hope my birthday is half as good as his was.
Ewan: I know, I thought it was never going to end (in a good way of course).
George: That’s right, celebrations went on for a whole week non-stop. Can you believe that?
Ewan: Well, it was his 70th birthday. That is very, very…very…very old you know.
George: I know it is. Can you count to 70, Ewan? I know I can’t?
Ewan: 1 … 2, 3, 4, 5 … 6 and 7…8…9 and a great big 10… 11, 12, 12, 13, 14… and 15. That’s about me done.
George: Wow, I can’t do that yet. I can count to one thousand but not with all the numbers in between.
Ewan: So that does go to show how very old he is.
George: No wonder we had a big celebration and there was a two weeks holiday from nursery, pre-school, school and work was declared.
Ewan: Yes, I think they call it a state of national emergency.
George: I’m glad Grandad agreed to become 70 years old, if only for us to get two weeks off nursery and go to the seaside.
Ewan: Wasn’t it brill going to the Norfolk seaside near Blakeney.
George: And all ten of us living in the same house together.
George: But I must get the negatives out of the way first, I was rather appalled that ageism still prevailed in a major way even though it was Grandad’s 70th Birthday Week Extravaganza. Like we were not allowed to go to the Circus when Cousin Rory and Sister Freya went,
Ewan: Due to our age, we were deemed too young.
And not allowed on the boat trip to see the seals, again, we were deemed too young.
George: I can understand that one as there were probably Tiger Sharks in the water.
Ewan: Or whales…
George: Or Piranha fish.
Ewan: So they probably did us a favour.
George: But I do go for swimming lessons every week. I can swim faster than a shark. They put sharks into the water to check that you can swim faster than a shark. I always can because a shark has never caught me yet.
Ewan: Wow, George that is so brave. We do not have sharks at our swimming lessons.
I have to say I wouldn’t have minded going to the circus, though. They have clowns that are so funny.
George: I know Grandad took me to see the circus at Newark just after Easter.
Ewan: That is so unfair! Why didn’t he take me?
George: He didn’t really take me. Well, he did but he didn’t.
Ewan: Is this one of your stupid jokes Grandad taught you.
George: No, I was the subject of a Grandad Joke.
Ewan: I have warned you about Grandad. I am a third older than you and consequently have a third more life experiences than you meaning I am always on the lookout for Grandad jokes.
How did he joke you then?
George: He came to Newark, giving me a bonus day to enhance mine and Grandad’s relationship.
Ewan: Dangerous, very dangerous.
You see I know through experience that if Grandad is giving you an extra day of his time you will pay for it and he will maximise on Grandad jokes.
George: And he did!
‘Come on, George’ he said ‘We’re going to see the circus.’
Great I thought, justice at last. Whilst Sister Freya is at school me and Grandad are going to the circus. I’ll see Dumbo the Elephant, clowns and The Greatest Show, live at long last.
Ewan: As you would. Although if it was me, because I have more experience of life than you I would think, hang on a minute, there is something funny, peculiar here. There is no way Mamma would allow Grandad to take me to the circus by himself.
Am I right or am I not wrong?
George: Shut up Ewan and listen.
So we went to Costa where Grandad bought a coffee and he bought me two Cherry Bakewells. But I couldn’t enjoy them because I was too excited about the circus,
Ewan: I know the feeling but I wouldn’t have built my hopes up.
George: And you would have been quite right.
We did go to where the circus was pitched. We looked at the huge circus trucks, the amazing caravans, the spectacular and colourful tent and the shiny booking office. We walked all around it with Grandad pointing these things out to me and then we went home.
I thought we were going to see the show! But apparently not.
Ewan: I’m surprised at you George. You should have realised if Mamma ain’t with you and Grandad you ain’t allowed to do **** all.
George: I know that now.
I do feel silly, so let’s forget all that and move on to the enormous amount of positives about Grandad’s 70th Birthday Extravaganza.
Ewan: What did you think was the best thing about Grandad’s 70th Birthday Extravaganza?
George: The beach and building sandcastles. But one thing I think is yet again where grownups are stupid and illogical.
There is the sea, that is why it is called the seaside, it is filled with more water than you can see, that’s why it’s called the sea. So you need to make the most of it.
But what do grownups say?
Ewan: Don’t go near the water.
George: Exactly, stupid
Ewan: But at least we went on Cromer pier and walked on the water eating donuts.
George: Yes, yum, yum.
Ewan: And we watched Super Wings, just me and you, buddies together in our own little playroom on our own bean bag on our own little TV.
George: Memories! Such wonderful memories.
Ewan: They sure were.
Going back to Grandad I did feel sorry for him on part of his birthday.
George: I did too.
I have a list of four things.
Ewan: I have a list of five.
George: Tell me yours.
Ewan: Shall we tell everyone the reasons we felt sorry for Grandad at times on his Grandad’s 70th Birthday Extravaganza
George: Yes, that’s a brill idea.
Ewan: But we’ll have to leave everyone in suspense until next week because we’ve run out of time and space.
George: Oh no! Do you think people will be able to wait all that time until next week for “The Five Reasons Ewan & George Felt Sorry For Grandad At Times On His Grandad’s 70th Birthday Extravaganza”
Ewan: They have no choice. They are going to have to.
George: Ok, if you say so, Ewan. Till then, then.
Ewan Till then…
Oh and George, when we start the Blog next week don’t use that “Welcome to my world crap.”
George: I will if I want to!
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE FOR THE DAY
Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.
– Winston Churchill
Happiness is… Grandad’s 70th Birthday Week Extravaganza
GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn’t reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, No, the steaks, are too high.”
Love is…just what you need to start the day
TRACK OF THE DAY
Little Children – Billy J Kramer & The Dakotas
Highest Chart Position: No.1 19th March 1964
WHAT DAY IS IT?
Saturday 4th May 2019
Star Wars Day
Free Comic Book Day
World Naked Gardening Day
©2019 Phil M Robinson & jeanniejeanniejeannie.co.uk