Ewan (4 yrs) George (3 yrs) Blog Together – Grandad’s Birthday Part 2
jeanniejeanniejeannie.co.uk BLOG 13th May 2019
George: Happy Birthday to Me! Ok, let’s write, write, write, about my birthday now.
Ewan: Great to see you’ve dropped the ‘Come in to welcome world dot crap’.
George: I’m too excited to think clearly. This has been a tremendous birthday week for me. So exciting! So exciting that I think it is probably the best 3rd birthday I have ever had in my entire life! It has been so good.
Ewan: George, just a small point. I’m sorry to disappoint you, but you, me, Mum, Dad, your Mum and your Dad, Mamma, Grandad, Nanny, Granny, Grandad Reed, Grandad David and everyone in the world and his dog only have one third birthday.
No matter how old or young you are you only have one third birthday and yours was this week. So it is impossible to have the best third birthday in your life.
George: But it was the best ever, so, welcome to my world, won’t you come on in?
Ewan: George, you are my best mate in the whole wide world but sometimes you just do my head in.
If you remember we are not here to blog or even brag about your birthday but to Blog about Grandad’s 70th Birthday Extravaganza. Do you remember last week we left our followers suspended?
We left everyone wondering what the reasons were for why we felt sorry for Grandad at times on his ‘Grandad’s 70th Birthday Extravaganza.’
George: But people will be bored with Grandad’s birthday. They want to hear about mine.
Grandad has had seventy birthdays, just so many they’ve become repetitious and boring.
I’ve only had three birthdays, mine are brand new, fresh, original and inspiring.
Ewan: Come on, George, we have to keep our word.
George: I suppose you are right.
Ewan: I know I am right.
So, the five reasons why we felt sorry for Grandad at times on his ‘Grandad’s 70th Birthday Extravaganza were:…
George: 1. Spiderman Bike
- Clothes from Next
- McDonalds party
- Spiderman Birthday Cake
Ewan: No, George that was not a list of why we felt sorry for Grandad, it is a list of some of the things you loved about your birthday.
George: Yes, and rightly so because it is a lot more exciting list.
Ewan: Ignore George’s list, everyone. These are the Five Reasons We Felt Sorry For Grandad at Times On His ‘Grandad’s 70th Birthday Extravaganza:
- He got Sister Freya as his main present.
George: I love my Sister Freya, but I would not want her as my main birthday present. I preferred my main birthday present, which was a Spiderman bike with stabilisers.
Ewan: I have to say I do agree there. Did you see Freya all wrapped up in birthday paper but there was no way you could tell it was her. Grandad’s face was a picture of happiness when he thought he had a big brilliant main present. He excitedly opened it up and found Sister Freya.
George: I was devastated for him. Imagine if I was opening up my main present, what I thought was my Spiderman bike and it turned out to be Sister Freya. I would be more than devastated.
Ewan: He took it very well, I would have screamed the house down, letting everyone know it was just not acceptable.
- Grandad’s birthday cake was in the shape of a Dansette Record Player and not an Angry Bird or Lightning McQueen…
George: …or Spiderman.
Ewan: I just had no idea what a record player was, just an old piece of junk.
George: An old red box. But everyone said it was brilliant.
Ewan: I think just to cheer Grandad up.
George: Grandad appeared to be excited about it.
Ewan: Yes, but that’s Grandad, thinking about others all the time. I think he thought it was the crappest of crap cakes. The worst he’d ever seen but put a brave face on.
George: And I know he was so vastly disappointed that there were not 70 candles on his cake.
Ewan: He was, you could see it in his face, and in his eyes, just two candles, a seven and a zero.
George: Mamma was being over cautious as usual. I suspect she’d taken advice from the local fire brigade.
But just image how spectacular it could have been. Seventy candles all a light.
Ewan: So spectacular it would have been seen for miles around. May be even from the International Space Station.
George: And it would have made the national and international news.
Ewan: May be the Guinness Book of Records.
But Mamma would not agree because she would have lost her £500 security damage deposit with the holiday house property owners.
George: How mean can she be to deprive Grandad of his 70th birthday dream.
Ewan: Oh well, what’s gone is gone.
- He was not given a McDonald’s Birthday Party.
George: I know he was forced to go to that posh hotel.
Ewan: All posh food. No Happy Meals.
George: No free toy with your meal.
Ewan: No computer at the table to play games on.
George: Poor old Grandad. If you’ve managed to survive until you are 70 you would expect to be given a quality birthday party and not subjected to posh crap.
Ewan: 4. He was not taken to soft play for his birthday.
George: Everyone gets to go to a soft play area or an advent playground for their birthday.
Ewan: Except poor old Grandad.
George: I did see him one time balance on the pavement kerb and then make a spectacular jump on to the road.
Ewan: I saw him having a swing
George: Wow, did you, where?
Ewan: On Mamma’s car door.
George: I bet he got timeout for that.
Ewan: Yes, he was put on the naughty step until Mamma calmed down.
George: So you came up with all four things on my list, what was your fifth: Reason We Felt Sorry For Grandad at Times On His Grandad’s 70th Birthday Extravaganza?
Ewan: 5. He did not have Spiderman or Lightning McQueen or Special Super Stars visit him on his birthday.
George: I didn’t think of that one or have it on my list, possibly because I did not have anything like that for my birthday, but I still had a brilliant Birthday Week.
Ewan: I suppose, to be honest, Grandad’s Spiderman is Mamma. She’s always there watching over him.
George: Always there to rescue him and get him out of trouble.
Ewan: She’s his Superhero.
George: Does she have a Superhero costume? If so I’ve never seen it.
Ewan: That’s just it, her Superhero costume is trousers and top so she looks an everyday lady.
George: If she’s supposed to be a Superhero I’ve never seen her wear her pants on the outside.
Ewan: Do you know nuthin’ George. That’s part of her secret disguise. She wears her pants on the inside so that no one realises she’s Super Mamma/Super Jeannie, Grandad’s protector.
George: I’m bored now.
Can we talk about my birthday?
Ewan: Sorry George, we’ve run out of time and space. You’ll have to come back next week.
George: Awww, can’t I just talk a little bit about it.
Ewan: Next week the Blog exclusively yours. You can talk about your birthday as much as you want. I won’t be contributing.
George: Can I start it “Welcome to my world…”
Ewan: You can do whatever you want. You’re flying solo.
George: Wow, I can’t wait to tell everyone about my brilliant 3rd birthday.
Ewan: I’m afraid you’ll have to.
George: Oh, yeh, Bye Bye. Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday…
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE FOR THE DAY
Thank goodness for Tesco. It keeps the riff-raff out of Waitrose.-Royce Mills, English Actor
Happiness is…having Super Mamma always there for you
GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in 7 years. – Mark Twain, American Writer
Love is…not letting him go to work without a kiss
TRACK OF THE DAY
OLD TOWN ROAD – LIL NAS X
Highest Chart Position: No.1 19th April, 2019
WHAT DAY IS IT?
Monday 13th May, 2019
Top Gun Day
Frog Jumpimg Day
World Belly Dancing Day
World Cocktail Day
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