jeanniejeanniejeannie.co.uk BLOG 27th July 2019

Hi Ewan, here.

I am a free man! I no longer have to go to Pre-school. I am finally like Mamma, Granny, Grandad David, and Grandad. That’s right, I have nothing to do all day and no commitment.

I too, am able to sit and do nothing all day. I too can now write the column “What Do You Do All Day, Ewan” and just type on the computer all day about nothing in particular instead of having to nconsciously to do interesting things and write funny Blogs.


Actually, Grandad is teaching me to become a writer, to put my sentiments into words, so I wrote this song about finishing pre-school.

It’s called Pre-school’s Out

Well we got no choice

All the girls and boys

Makin all that noise

Cause they found new toys

Well we can’t salute ya

Can’t find a flag

If that don’t suit ya

That’s a drag


Pre-School’s out for summer

Pre-School’s out forever

Pre-School’s been blown to pieces


No more pencils

No more books

No more teacher’s dirty looks


Well we got no class

And we got no principles

And we got no innocence

We can’t even think of a word that rhymes


Pre-School’s out for summer

Pre-School’s out forever

My pre-school’s been blown to pieces


No more pencils

No more books

No more teacher’s dirty looks


Out for summer

Out for all (differing words)

We will not come back at all (differing words)


Pre-School’s out forever

Pre-School’s out for summer

Pre-School’s out with fever

Pre-School’s out completely

(Grandad Note: With apologies to Mr Alice Cooper – very, very sincere apologies)

Grandad says I’ve copied Alice Cooper’s 1972 No.1 hit “School’s Out”. How stupid is that, my song is nothing like that song and even has a different title.

If you remember last week I Blogged “TIME TO MOVE ON Prt 1”.

If you missed it here it is, but don’t forget to come back after you’ve read it.


To remind you here’s my list of 11 Things that mean I am grown up, matured and changed that I did in my amazing week before last:


1              I’ve had my haircut

2              I went to my cousin, Isaac’s birthday party

3              I Graduated from Pre-School

4              I went to the park with Mamma & Grandad and chatted up a girl to celebrate graduating

5              Grandad wrote a fictional book about a Gorilla coming to stay at my house with me for his holiday


I explained those last week


Now, you want to know about:


6              I spent my first two hours at my new school  being taught to see if I liked it.

7              I had my Preschool Prom

8              I had my leaving picnic at Little Lambs (that’s my church group) and received a leaving gift.

9              I found my Green Mega Truck I have been searching for since Grandad looked after me and I got him to empty every box in my toy cupboard and we still couldn’t find it.

10           I typed a story myself on the computer

11           I watched Bing (That one is not mind blowing it’s just to make the numbers up)


Every one of those is such a major step in anyone’s life, let alone mine. (Except possibly No.11)


So to explain:


6              I spent my first two hours at my new school being taught to see if I liked it.


I did like it but Brother Rory says you have to stay super cool and not show how excited you are or they think they are doing you a massive favour by sending you to school. But it is difficult to contain my inner excitement.

We sat at tables drawing and crayoning and playing with toys and there were loads of books. The good bit was I never heard one baby cry or even saw one like at pre-school. Wonderful, glorious, peaceful.

My teacher Miss Orton was great, although she dealt with me a bit too much like Mum for my liking. Brother Rory had her too. I hope she doesn’t start any of this comparing me with my brother malarkey. Although I suppose she can if she says you’re better behaved or more intelligent than your brother.

I didn’t have my lunch and I’m taking sandwiches from home and so I don’t know if I like them. To be honest I enjoy cheese sandwiches without the bread best.

The best thing of all about school is that time goes so quickly. I do not have a watch. Time is a mystery to me. There’s not enough of it if you are enjoying something but it drags on when there’s something you do not like or hate and detest. Grandad says that’s life.


What I do know is that Pre-school was 7.30am until 5.30pm, 10 little hours. But school was only 9.00am until 11.00am. 2 hours. Now, I do know my numbers and 10 is huge at the side of 2. So, yes, I’m going to like school. But don’t tell Mum or Dad or let it generally be known that I like it. I need to just be cool about it, okay?


7              I had my Preschool Prom. That’s a disco to celebrate leaving Pre-school. I was dressed pretty cool and sophisticated. Although Mum did not  buy me the Prom dress I had hung my nose over for months.

Grandad is so uncool. He said do you and the guys dance with the chicks. You can tell the dementia is setting in, poor old sod. Why would we be dancing with chickens?

Like everyone else I was dancing by myself. I just move where the music took me.

Grandad then said, have you got a girlfriend? I had to inform him I have friends from both genders, girls and boys.

I always like discos. I’m a natural dancer, even if I say it myself. It’s all due to the football training and being able to perform a dance after scoring.

I was also disappointed because I was expecting a stretch limo to take me to the Prom, which is the custom. As Dad likes to do the biggest and the best and I love cars I thought he’d get me the world’s longest stretch limousine. It is 30 metres (98.4 feet) and has a built in swimming pool. It only costs $5,000 a day to hire. I could have had my swimming lesson at same time. But no, all I had was Mum’s 4 metre (13 feet) long Ford B-max and a bottle of tap water.

8              I had my leaving picnic at Little Lambs, that’s my church group. We had the picnic in the graveyard. We had a Treasure Hunt round the graveyard to find animal masks. That was good I found a monkey face mask, ate and drank loads and was given a book as a leaving gift. I didn’t find any chest of gold coins or any skulls. I now move on to big Church. I think it’s like school, you have to go every day you don’t go to school.

9              I found my Green Mega Truck. This was the greatest event in all my life. The Big Green Mega Truck became my best toy and my best truck ever, when I couldn’t find it.  As I could not find it I had to get someone as gullible as Grandad to empty every toy box and every cupboard and every wardrobe and every closet I have to try to find it. He did and we didn’t.

But then one day my Green Mega Truck just appeared.

But I have seen all four Toy Storys so I know exactly what happened: someone left the door open and it went on an adventure. I did expect other toys to be missing who had gone with him but I’ve not missed any. I guess he’s always been a loner. I bet he’s got some stories to tell. I think he took a fancy to a 1959 Little Red Chevy Convertible. We’ll turn his adventures into Toy Story 5.

10           I typed a story myself on the computer. This was a major life changing experience and achievement. My Brother Rory is always typing stories on Grandad’s computer. I think it is a requirement of school. So I typed one, exactly the same as Brother Rory’s story. But everyone went into meltdown. You never heard such a commotion from Brother Rory and Grandad. You would have thought I’d missed getting a vital goal in football.

“Calm down, calm down.” I said.

‘You can’t copy someone else’s story,’ Grandad said. But I didn’t know, I’m only little. It’s my first book I don’t know what you do.

So I re-wrote the book that everyone approved of this time. Here it is in full, free of charge, complete and unabridged!


Title: The Gorilla and The Wallaby

There was a gorilla and a wallaby


I’m proud of my story. CBeebies want to buy film rights to it, you know.

11           And I watched Bing, he’s a life changing little rabbit if ever I saw one.

12           Yes I have had an additional life changing experience this week as well as all my other amazing life changing moments. This one is weird. Boris Johnson has been made Prime Minister. That is the first time I have ever experienced that in my lifetime.

Achieving all that in my life has tired me out. I’d better go and have a lie down.

Bye Bye, Ewan.


“Sometimes I want to ask God why He allows poverty, famine, and injustice when He could do something about it, but I’m afraid he might just ask me the same question.” – Abdu’l-Baha


Happiness is…rain after sunshine


Why name hurricanes lame names, like Sandy? Name that Hurricane Death Megatron 300 and I guarantee folk will be evacuating like they need to.


Love is…discovering the best night out is staying in


School’s Out – Alice Cooper

Highest Chart Position: No.1 12th August 1972

  1. 02 - School's Out Alice Cooper 3:28


27th July 2019

Parents’ Day

Walk On Stilts Day

Norfolk Day

Take Your Houseplant For A Walk Day

Chicken Finger Day




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