jeanniejeanniejeannie.co.uk BLOG 8th February 2019

Hi, Ewan here.

Had a great day Saturday. The best day of my life, well for this month (February 2019) so far. But please bear in mind my birthday is in the middle of this month so the best day of my life which I had on Saturday may be superseded.

In fact it had better be superseded. If it’s not it will mean Mum and Dad have not put sufficient effort into organising my birthday. And it will mean I have had a crap birthday. And boy will that upset me. A little lad can’t get through life with crap birthdays.

The reason Saturday was the best day in my life is because Brother Rory and Cousin Freya went on the train to London to see a show, ‘Matilda The Musical’.

Now, that surprised you didn’t it. Knowing me as you do through my blog you would have expected me to play the ageism card, wouldn’t you?

But no. One reason is that would mean I was becoming predictable. The No. 1 rule in “The Haynes Three to Almost Four Year Toddler Manual User Guide” says you must never, never, ever, whatever you do, become predictable.

Other reasons include:

  1. I could have a whole day with just me and my Dad, Father and Son bonding.
  2. I could have a full day playing with Brother Rory’s toys, with him out of my hair all day.
  3. They went to the theatre to see a musical all about ‘school’ and ‘girls’. I am not sexist because my Mum won’t let me be. But, I stress I’m not sexist, but I can’t say a musical about a girl is my Blackcurrant juice fruit shoot drink. Neither is a musical about school. If it was a musical about ‘Angry Birds’, and Pre-School Play Group I would have loved it.
  4. I can’t say I am over keen on theatres,either. I once had a bad experience with a pantomime. It was scary dark, and it was far too noisy, – noise is good if I’m making it not when other people make the noise, especially if those other people are grownups. On top of that they expected you to laugh.
  5. On Friday it had snowed. The TV was full of snow. No, silly, not full of real snow, video footage of massive amounts of snow that had fallen throughout the country causing fun and disruption. And you can’t build a snowman in the back garden if you are on a train.

An additional thing was we have the film of ‘Matilda’ so I have seen it. We have the book of ‘Matilda’ too. So I know the story. The story is basically about my Mum as a child.

You would not believe the number of books my Mum has. Our house could be built of books, in fact I think it is. We have more books in our house than there are bricks used to build it. But Mum’s books are not proper books with pictures to look at so you know what the story is about and there are no flaps to lift to give you a surprise. Mum’s books are filled with boring words that she sits and stares at all day. What is the point?

And finally, the main reason out of everything why I did not want to go and see ‘Matilda’: my Dad said if I stayed home with him I could play ‘Angry Birds’ on the tablet. You don’t get that offer every day!

You do not know how heavenly the day started with having the run of the whole house and use of every toy without interference from Brother Rory. Ok, I get days like that every week with Mum on Thursday and Friday but she’s more hands on watching my every move. Dad is not so vigilant.

The first thing me and Dad did was went scootering, two laps around Titchfield Park. Well, I guess my Dad didn’t scooter. I wish he had that would have been funny. But he just walked. The scootering was just utterly amazing I just went at my own speed with no “one” protesting because I was winning (I always am winning).

Next, me and my Dad went shopping. Shopping with Mum is so yukky. It is so yukky it is diabolical and I don’t even know the meaning of the word. At best it is shopping at Tesco visiting the toys and books and comics sections and afterwards having cakes and chips and burgers in the Tesco coffee shop. At worst it is just shopping at Tesco full stop and no special sections or treats. On top of that when you are shopping with Mum she is so vigilant watching your every move. She is so in your face instead of concentrating on her shopping and letting me “explore”. She inhibits me. Yes, that’s the word “inhibits” me whilst she shops, or is it “intimidates” me.

Going shopping with Dad is a different ball game, literally. When Dad takes me shopping it is always to Decathlon which is a massive shed load of fun things. Also going shopping with Dad means I am allowed my freedom of the store to create my own fun. Dad is too taken up with what he wants rather than worrying about where I am and what I’m doing and quite rightly so, I’d feel so guilty if I was cramping his style.

Dad took me to try on some new trainers. Whilst my shoes were off I took advantage of the situation to go and explore the store in my bare feet.

Another item successfully ticked off my bucket list.

Dad didn’t even realise I was gone for the first two hours. When he did finally catch up with me I was trying out the bikes. To be honest, I don’t think he was been looking for me, it was just by chance that our paths crossed and he thought “I recognise that kid from somewhere. In fact he reminds me of Ewan. Just a minute it is Ewan.”

So, he made this big thing about our reunion, a sort of prodigal son thing. I felt all guilty and thought I’d best stick by him for the rest of the shopping trip. To be honest he’s not safe to be let go around a shop like Decathlon by himself, he ends up buying such utter crap.

We had a good lunch and then did even more scootering with Granny. There is only one problem with scootering with Granny she doesn’t have a scooter, not even at her age. She and Grandad Robinson are a similar age and I am ashamed to say neither have scooters. They have birthdays this year. I think Mum and Dad should buy them one each. They would love it.

I think Grandad David has got one. I’ve not seen it but just before Christmas he hurt his knee. I assumed that was due to falling off his scooter. You do that when you are old. You can’t keep your balance.

Mamma just rides mine.

Me and Dad then went home. It was bedtime, and I went to bed tired and content after an excellent day. Mum and Rory were not home. That did not surprise me though. Mum’s not good at finding directions to and from places, even when she has a sat nav and she didn’t even take a sat nav with her.

I realised we may never see her or Rory ever again. Oh well, at least I can get to play with all his Lego and watch what I want to watch on TV without a fight.

But either Santa or the Tooth Fairy found them and brought them home in the middle of the night. In the morning there they were magically in their beds. I think probably it was Santa who brought them because they also brought me a box of Lego which was so brilliant because I didn’t have to endure the tedium of the theatre to get it.

That reminds me, it’s sitting around waiting to be built. Let’s go build it. Do you want to join  me?

Bye Bye, Ewan


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