jeanniejeanniejeannie.co.uk BLOG Saturday 8th June 2019

Hi Ewan here.

Last week… was it last week, I don’t know. The week that was half term holiday week. Because it was half term holiday we had to go on holiday.

Did you know there is a law that says if you do not go away on holiday when it is Half Term Holiday you are in trouble. Big trouble. Time out and Naughty Step and all that sort of thing.

My Dad says you are not going to get me and Mummy on the Naughty Step taking time out for a whole week. So we went to Filey on the Yorkshire coast.

I was really surprised, you (or I) take my life into my hands when I go there and it scared me. Do you remember last year when we went there I ended up in A&E after injuring myself. My blood spurted out of a head wound. The only thing that stopped it was when the doctor gave me a teddy bear.

You’d think I could not face going back after such a life changing injury, but it was the adrenalin rush that made it so appealing. Well, that and the fact that Mum and Dad insisted I go back.

Me and Brother Rory packed our cases ready to go. Mum puts all our clothes in hers and Dad’s cases so we can fill ours with the toys we need for the week. What gets me about that though is that I put every toy, every book and every bucket and spade in. I check it once, I check it twice and when I get on holiday I always realise I’ve forgotten my best ever favourite toy and book.

But I am four years old now and old enough and mature enough to get over it after an hour of tears and tantrums.

Not taking my favourite book or toy on holiday is not too bad because at least we have a big celebration when I get home and we are reunited.

The worst thing is getting home from holiday and finding you have left your most favourite toy or book in the world ever that you cannot live without at the holiday home. Or if it’s not really your most favourite toy or book in the world ever that you cannot live without it has suddenly become so when you realise you have left it at the holiday home. You miss it so much you sob, and sob and sob yourself to sleep or until you forget it whichever comes first.

That is part of the holiday. If that doesn’t happen… it always does so I cannot tell you what happens if it doesn’t happen.

If my Dad truly cared for me he’d go back and get it. But he’s so hard hearted he never does, which is surprising with Father’s Day on the horizon. You’d think he’d be on best behaviour to get the best present. I have to say I’m bigger than that it does not affect his Father’s Day present. Mainly because Mum buys that and I don’t have any influence otherwise if it was left to me he’d get none.

What was the best thing about my Filey, Yorkshire Coast holiday. Here’s my:
Random Top Ten of Best Things I Did On My Filey, Yorkshire Coast Spring Bank Half Term Holiday (dot com)
1. Cousin George & Cousin Freya joining us
2. Crabbing
3. Climbing the world’s highest mountain without being crabbie or moaning
4 Getting frozen toes paddling in the sea – I think it’s called chilling
5. Wondering why I can’t swim in the sea
6. Riding on a donkey
7. Having ice creams – I think that’s called chilling too
8. Knocking Brother Rory’s sandcastles down
9. Building sandcastles
10. Using my bucket to empty the sea and put it all in my remote (moat: Grandad correction) round my sandcastle
11. Doing the Adventure playground
12. Just a-walkin’ in the rain and jumpin’ in puddles
13. Crazy Golf
14. Buying my cuddly Big Red Crab
15. Being a giant in a model village
16. Getting home from holiday and finding I had left my most favourite toy or book in the world ever that you cannot live without at the holiday home and sobbing uncontrollably until I fell asleep or forgot about it, whichever came first.

Oh no, that always happens I didn’t notice I’ve done more than 10 because I just had such a great time and I got carried away.

The great thing about having Cousin George come to stay is that he is the only person in the world who understands me and is on my wavelength. Ok, Mamma and Granny do but that’s different, they do not agree with mischief making and yet that is mine and George’s main objective.

I don’t know why George did not come all week. I think the weather was too cold for Auntie NanNan.

My Dad is the best Dad at crabbing in all the world. We watched a programme on TV about crabbing in another part of the world. And to catch crabs this guy had to get a boat. First he had to catch fish that he then used as bait. He put the bait in great big trap cages. He went out in a boat and had to drop the traps in the water with a football attached, so that he knew where they were. He then, wait until you hear this, he then had to go away and come back in his boat a few days later. Then, after all that the crabs were Blue Crabs and not crab coloured.

But what makes my Dad a Crabby world champion is he doesn’t use a boat, he only has a net instead of great big cage traps, he doesn’t even have to fish for bait he recycles scraps from the butchers or fish shops (very eco friendly is that). He doesn’t have to use footballs at the top of his trap. Again eco friendly as no footballs are wasted. We do not have to go away a couple of days and then come back to see what we have caught. It is instant, there and then!

And finally, even though the sea is very, very cold the crabs are crab coloured and not blue.

We go to Whitby to catch crabs. My Dad caught this colossal one. It was so big we had to buy a brand new giant bucket to put it in.

The YouTube camera man should come and film my Dad crabbing. He’s the best in the world. But I’ve never seen a YouTube camera man around, have you?

Grandad loves crab sandwiches and I wanted to take the giant crab to see if he had a slice of bread big enough to put the crab in. I don’t think he would have.

I don’t like crab sandwiches. I don’t mind saying I’m scared they would cling on to and nip my tongue. And their hard shell would probably break my little diddy teeth.

As with all the other crabs, we threw him back in but with a major splash.

Just a thought I learned this week that Spiderman, Lightning McQueen, Woody and Buzz Lightyear never ever, ever goes on holiday. Disney/Pixar are tough task masters. They go on vacation.

My proudest moment on holiday was when me and Brother Rory climbed the steepest hill in the world without moaning, complaining or being carried. It is the road from the sea and beach at Robin Hood’s Bay back up to the Car Park at the top.

It is the steepest biggest climb in the world and we did it. Even Mum and Dad struggled and nearly didn’t make it.

I thought Mount Everest was the steepest and highest point in the world and on earth, you are saying. Officially that is true but the road from Robin Hood’s Bay beach to the car park is so steep and high that no one can measure it, so, the Guinness Book of Records will not accept that it is the most difficult, steepest climb to the highest point on earth.

Many people have died doing it. But unlike Everest Yorkshire County Council road sweepers are good at brushing the bodies away.

Donkeys are wonkey, according to the book. Otherwise they’d be horses. They don’t like you thinking they are a horse so they say “Eee, aah.” A horse says “Neigh” so you don’t think they are a donkey.
The other way you can tell the difference between a donkey and a horse is that a donkey is found on yellow sand on the beach, a horse is found on green grass in a field.

I love donkey riding, although I’m a little scared, but I wish they would run faster whilst carrying me. But they always look as if they are going to sleep on their feet. Just like Grandad.

There are so many other exciting things about my holiday I am longing to tell you about but I have run out of my word allocation.

But to close I will share with you the most important thing I did learn on my holiday that I never knew before the holiday: In Crazy Golf the ball never goes where you expect it to go or where you want it to go which is exactly the same as a donkey.

Bye Bye, Ewan

“Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.” – Ellen DeGeneres
Happiness is…splashing in puddles
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
Love is… walking in the rain together splashing in puddles

Just Walking In The Rain – Johnny Ray
Highest Chart Position: No.1 17th November 1956 for 7 weeks

  1. Just Walking In The Rain Johnnie Ray 2:41

Saturday 8th June 2019
World Gin Day
Best Friends Day
Upsy Daisy Day
World Doll Day
World Oceans Day

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