jeanniejeanniejeannie.co.uk BLOG 20th July 2019

Hi Ewan here.


This week has been manic for me,


I have been on this mortal coil in excess off 1,615 days, that is almost 232 weeks. Apart from the day and week I was born I have never progressed so much or achieve so much in one day or week.


Not even I can believe how much I have grown up, matured and changed since last Sunday, so you won’t.


Here’s my list of 11 Things that mean I am grown up, matured and changed


1              I’ve had my haircut

2              I went to my cousin, Isaac’s birthday party

3              I Graduated from Pre-School

4              I went to the park with Mamma & Grandad and chatted up a girl to celebrate graduating

5              Grandad wrote a fictional book about a Gorilla coming to stay at my house with me for his holiday

6              I spent my first two hours at my new school                 being taught to see if I liked it.

7              I had my Preschool Prom

8              I had my leaving picnic at Little Lambs (that’s my church group) and received a leaving gift.

9              I found my Green Mega Truck I have been searching for since Grandad looked after me and I got him to empty every box in my toy cupboard and we still couldn’t find it.

10           I typed a story myself on the computer

11           I watched Bing (That one is not mind blowing it’s just to make the numbers up)


Every one of those is such a major steps in anyone’s life, let alone mine. (Except possibly No.11)


I will expand on each item so that you may share in my experiences with me and marvel at my achievements.


1              Haircut. Mum said I had to have a haircut due to my big week ahead. Why? Why, if my week was brimming over with key life changing events did I need a haircut? That is bizarre grownup logic. But I was scared, very afraid about my haircut.


To save money Dad has started cutting his own hair. You want a laugh, look at my dad. I was due to be meeting new potential social media friends this week. Maybe potential lifelong friends, may be a lifelong partner. I did not want to look like the village idiot.


Fortunately sense and sensibility prevailed and I went to my hairdressers and did my traditional journey in the red car watching my choice of video as my hair was professionally styled. What a relief.


2              I went to Cousin Isaacs 8th Birthday Party. I went there legitimately on a legitimate invite of my own. I was not sponging off my brother Rory and it went down in history as the oldest children’s birthday party I had been invited to legitimately in my own right. Apart from Grandad’s 70th party that is. Mamma says he’s in his second childhood so I think that counts.


Cousin Isaac’s mum had obviously organised his party because it is not his birthday and he is not even 8 years old yet, in fact he’s not for a couple of weeks yet. Mums are not good at days. They always organise birthday parties, but I do not know why, because they never manage to organise it on your actual birthday. They should let dad’s do it. Dad’s would make sure it was on the day.


  1. Monday was brilliant. I Graduated at Pre-school. That means I had to dress up smart and go on stage and do a dance performance with all the other kids. I was good, simply the best. That’s not me bragging. It must have been right because my Mum said I was too.


We then had to put this Batman cloak on and this funny square hat to have our photo taken. Next we threw the hat  up into the air. Goodness knows why. I felt a right pilchard. But it doesn’t matter I am leaving next week, so it will all be forgotten, I do not have to face those who saw me to explain.


Yes, the first chapter of my life was being born. The second chapter was pre-nursery. The third chapter was nursery.  I am just ending the fourth chapter, Pre-School and all ready to start the exciting fifth chapter “SCHOOL”.


And now my publisher has asked for a prequel to it all, life in the womb. Writing is a tough profession you know.


Coming to the end of my Nursery/Preschool career is a big moment. There is no going back. What I have learned at Nursery/Preschool forms the foundation of my whole life and my life to come.


So what have I learned so far in life at Nursery/Preschool:


1              When you tire yourself out getting the best toy in the Nursery to play with and end up falling asleep clutching it some heartless b****** will take it from you as you sleep.

2              Nursery food is not McDonalds and they don’t even offer you a menu. It’s a case of like it or starve and their pizza is cold. They keep it in the freezer, you know, with the ice cream.

3              The strongest kid on the block gets the best ride on toy in the playground.

4              Being taught Football Skills privately is a necessity but also a bonus.

5              If it’s Tuesday and 1 o’clock it must be Mamma time. I always know when it’s time for Mamma to pick me up. How?


It’s when the moon is in the Seventh House, and Jupiter aligns with Mars, then peace guides the planets and love steers the stars and Mamma appears to pick me up.


To be honest on Tuesday we play have lunch and she’s here. It’s that easy.


6              I learnt how to pose to look a brilliant dude on photos.

7              I learnt how to catch coughs and colds just like Grandad.

8              I learnt that the play area outside is very tough and hard to the hand, knee, face and nose  grazing me and making me bleed so I need a plaster.

9              I learned that the normal nursery/playschool day is from 07.30 until 17.45. They call that a day but a preschool day lasts a few weeks, or it seems to to me when I am at nursery/preschool. When my Mum or Dad drops me off it seems days before they pick me up again. They are so busy having a great time at work they don’t care and just forget about me.

11           I learned to watch Blippy on YouTube at Preschool

13           Life is repetitive I learned at Preschool

14           I learned not to look back not even in anger in Preschool

15           I learned there is a brand new undiscovered world outside Preschool

Lets go find it!!!

4              I went to the park with Mamma and Grandad. Boy was that a laugh?


I went along and expected a nice quiet leisurely time. You would think at their age they would be old enough not to mess about, to know better, but they were a disgrace. I was ashamed of them.  I was playing nicely throwing my mega truck down the slide when Mamma and Grandad started to play Basketball on the Basketball Courts. The problem was they did not have a ball so they used my best Batman hat instead. I was fuming.


Then Mamma threw my hat up and it ledged on the basket. None of us could reach it down.


Mamma tried jumping up but could not reach it. Grandad tried but couldn’t even jump let alone reach it.


Mamma said we had to go home and leave it there. But I objected. That was my best Bat Man hat.


Grandad tried lifting Mamma up to get it, but he couldn’t lift her very high. She’s eaten too many pizzas.


So Mamma kept trying to knock it off with her jumper, she did take the jumper off first.


Finally she knocked it down. When I had got it back I had to tell her to take care of my hat or Mamma and Grandad will not be able to bring me to the park again.


There was a little girl at the park the same age as me. She told Grandad that she was 4 years old and starting my school when I do in September.


I did not say anything to her. It is best not to sound too forward. I don’t want to have the reputation of being a womaniser before my primary school adventures have begun. I have an image to maintain.


5              At Mamma and Grandad’s there was a picture book waiting for me. It was titled Ewan and the Gorilla. I tried to avoid it as it was not particularly interesting. Just about a Gorilla coming to my house to have a weeks holiday with me, a sort of Tiger Who Came to Tea in gorillas clothing.


My life is full of interesting goings on all the time, far more interesting than a gorilla coming to stay with me  so I chose to ignore it. Fact is far better than fiction.


Oh dear, I am only half way through my Blog at the moment because it has been such a manic, hectic week.


Grandad says you’ll get bored if I go on too long. So, I think I’ll have to spread it over two weeks. Come back next week to find out about my School Sampler Experience. What did I think of school?


Bye Bye, Ewan.

 PART 2 NEXT WEEK 27th July 2019


Always find a reason to laugh. It may not add years to your life but will surely add life to your years


Happiness is…moving forward


How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?


Love is… knowing he is doing hs best


Diana – Paul Anka

Highest Chart Position: No.1 31st August 1957 (9 Weeks


Saturday 20th July 2019

Moon Day

Lollipop Day

Space Exploration Day

World Jump Day

Moth Week





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