Ewan’s Blog My First 1,000 Days 7.12.2017

Ewan’s Blog My First 1,000 Days 7.12.2017

1000 days
1000 days

Hi Ewan here.

Recently I hit my 1000th day birthday. On 13th November, actually. A key date in my life, or so I thought. But you wouldn’t know it, everyone seemed to ignore it. I realise it was one of those things that everyone got excited about for the first born and it gets forgotten about for the rest of us.


The celebration was Grandad’s invention and even he seems to have forgotten mine.


I remember Brother Rory’s 1,000th Day Birthday. I suppose I have to say I can’t because I was only just over 4 months old. We have to make out our memories have not been turned on at that stage, but boy you would not believe the stuff I remember from those heady far off days when life was new and every day an adventure. To be honest it is stuff best forgotten.


Brother Rory was taken on a special train journey to Nottingham and had a spider present and a cake for his 1,000th day. Cousin Freya had a cake and it was announced she was having a baby brother on her 1,000th Day. Well no not a brother, but that she was going to be a sister.


But mine passed quietly by, unnoticed. Although I did a secret celebration with a few mates at nursery. We had a few bevys so to speak. Mind you, it was so secret only I knew about it.


Many people see 1,000 days as a time to analyse how well their performance has been. Say like Obama did after 1,000 days, Prime Minister’s do, if they last that long. There is “A Thousand Days: John F. Kennedy in the White House” which is a non fiction book by special assistant to the president, American historian Arthur M. Schlesinger Jr. One of Henry VIII’s wives is Anne of 1,000, Anne Boleyn who only lasted 1,000 days as his wife.


There was the Thousand Days’ War (1899–1902) which was a civil armed conflict in the Republic of Colombia.


Apparently good nutrition in the 1,000 days between a woman’s pregnancy and her child’s second birthday sets the foundation for all the days that follow, or so I am told. As my Mum lives on Crunchy Nut Cornflakes, that has made me the person I am today.


I do believe I have illustrated the reason 1,000 days is an important landmark in my life.


1,000 days is a good time therefore to stop and take stock and review where my life is and look back at what I have achieved.


So where am I at now I am 1,000 days old?


I’ll tell you where I am at:


  1. I can walk, I can dance, I can move it

2,             I can talk

  1. I can watch Madagascar on Netflicks 27 times in one day without getting bored.
  2. I can roar as loud and as good as any lion
  3. I can roar as loud and as good as any dinosaur

(To the untrained ear they may sound the same but a good zoologist or palaeontologists will recognise the difference)

  1. I have been tagged as good but “stubborn” by my nursery
  2. Unwatched, I can climb out of my cot unaided
  3. I can hold out on the Naughty Step for hours and not apologise for any wrong doings – they will break before me.
  4. I have achieved great heights of becoming the greatest drama queen who ever lived. (You only achieve that by practise, practise and even more practise – yes its sheer hard work that got me there.)
  5. I’ll say it again: I can rub and scrub

‘Til this house shinin’ like a dime

Feed the baby, grease the car

Powder my face at the same time

Get all dressed up

Go out swing ’til 4 a.m. and then

Lay down at 5, jump up at 6

And start all over again

‘Cause I’m Ewan

Spelt E-W-A-N


Oh and one I didn’t have space for but is very important I have my very own horse. A plastic one I can take everywhere. It’s very important to have your own horse.


On my rapid journey into this world I made a massive pledge. I decreed I would change this world and all those who sail in her.


But even I didn’t realise how much:


  1. Barack Obama was President of US when I was born now it is Trump


  1. Cameron was PM of UK now it is Teresa May


  1. UK was in Europe but has voted to leave triggering Brexit


  1. The weather has turned cloudy


  1. Bake Off was with the BBC and has moved to Channel 4


  1. The richest man in the world is the CEO of Amazon and worth over $100 billion, the first time ever anyone has been worth over $100 billion


  1. Grandad started a blog


  1. BHS (British Home Stores) went into administration – Oh well I guess there had to be some good news.


I’ve scared myself, can all that be down to me changing the world. Have I really done that much damage?


But on the positive side:



  1. GB came 2nd behind US in Olympic 2016 Medal Table


  1. We’ve been on thousands of amazing holidays. Well at least 10


  1. Tim Peake became the first British astronaut. He started his flight on 15th December 2015 and finished 186-days later on 18th June 2016. His Principia mission was all about working on the International Space Station for Expedition 46/47


  1. A fishpond with four fish in it has been put in our back garden


  1. Blue Planet II has been screened on BBC1


  1. Brother Rory and Cousin Freya started school


  1. I started nursery


  1. I have had two birthdays and two Christmases with my third coming up


  1. Two cousins have been born, Cousin George and Cousin Armani

10. The best thing ever too, a Coop has opened up on our estate within 500 metres of us. Dad is particularly pleased because having a Coop on the doorstep has probably doubled the price of  our house

Oh and one last very important thing:  I have my very own horse. A plastic one I can take everywhere


And I’ve pooed so many different places, just about everywhere, man:      1.            At Zoos and loads of Wildlife Parks                2.At White Post Farm              3. At lots of aquariums       4. At many, pantomimes and theatre shows                5. At Thomasland                               6.At Legoland               7. At loads of softplay areas             8. At lots of parties with every theme you can think of                               9. At Chatsworth Farm                10. At Rufford Park, Clumber, Park, Wollaton Park, lots of National Trust properties and at so many, many more exciting places


I think I am the Champion Pooer.


Ewan In Numbers;


3,987                 Bottles I drunk

13,125                 Hours I slept

6,732                  Nappy changes I have had

5,372                  Books and stories read I’ve looked at and had read to me

100,259                 Times I watched Madagascar DVD

24, 854                                Number of times I have roared like a lion or dinosaur

1,582                  Number of Poos I have had

769                  Hours I’ve spent on the Naughty Step

150,000                                No of laughs I’ve had if researchers got it right that children have 150 laughs a day

1,024                  Number of times I’ve got one over Brother Rory


Every one of my 1,000 days have been amazing filled with so much fun. Of course my mission to change the world has only just begun. You ain’t seen nothing yet.


Come on everybody help me celebrate my 1st thousand days and help me make the next thousand days to 09-Aug-20 even better – if that’s possible.


Just one last number during my first 1,000 days Grandad has taken 31,263 photographs. I estimate 77% of those are of me.