George 16 months old Blog: Trying to learn something daily 20.10.2017

George 16 months old Blog: Trying to learn something daily

Hi George here.

Is Ewan about?

No? Then, welcome to my world. Won’t you come on in?

Every day I feel it is important to smile, no not just smile but laugh loads. So I make sure I do.

Something else that is just as important and especially at my age is to learn something new. Make sure today you know something more than you did yesterday. And tomorrow make sure you know something more than you did or I did today.

As an example here is a list of new things I learned over the last seven days:

  1. Thursday 12th October –

I learnt that Rory knows how to throw the best 5th birthday party in the world. Actually I knew this on 1st October but I liked this bit of knowledge so much I swapped it so I could include it.

The thing I learnt today which I swapped it for was that I learnt there were other coffee shops besides Costa.

  1. Friday 13th October –

I learnt that Rain is wet.

And that Friday 13th is not unlucky. Something that is bad luck is if you break a mirror. (To be honest if you break anything it is bad luck.) Also if you put new shoes on the table. Well, Mamma says it is. I suppose she’s right because if you’ve got shoes on the table you ain’t going to get no dinner any time soon.

  1. Saturday 14th October –

I learnt to say “dog”. I am desperately trying to speak. That way there can be no mistaking what I am asking for in life.

I thought it was imperative to learn how to say “Bye”. I said that first because I realised it was one of the most important words. When you get fed up with folk being around you say “Bye” to get rid of them, like Grandad does. It always works a treat.

The other word I learned was a lesser important word this week being “dog”. You see it is important for me to notify people I am with that the animal they are in close proximately to is a dog. Most folk around me do not come across as being overly streetwise and may mistake the animal for a tiger, lion, elephant or crocodile. Not a giraffe because dogs never have long necks.  And I need to let them know it is a dog so as not to cause a mass panic.

  1. Sunday 15th October

I learnt that if I reject my regular day to day foods I am offered and given a much wider choice and varities of delicious foods.

  1. Monday 16th October

I finally learnt what leaves are all about.

I wondered why they just hung about on trees and then fell off and lay on the floor. Their purpose has now become obvious to me. The leaves hang on the trees. The men from the council come round and paint them red or yellow. Sometimes they don’t wash their brush and so you get orange too, as yellow paint mixes with red.

Because of the weight of the paint the leaves are too heavy to stay on the trees and fall to the ground where they are perfect for Freya, Grandad, Mamma and me to have fun throwing them at one another.

The leaves also give the wind, who has been on vacation for most of the summer, a purpose, something meaningful to do by blowing them around, teasing them and playing with them. That’s why you only get wind at this time of year, when the leaves are on the ground. Oh, and for some reason in March.

  1. Tuesday 17th October

I learnt how to bullshit at nursery. As it was Parents Evening at Nursery tonight I learnt that my strategy to poo a mountain load, wee even more, smile lots and sleep all the rest of the time earns you a favourable report from the nursery staff. I also learnt that the cash I slipped them was probably worth while too.

  1. Wednesday 18th October

I learnt my Grandad (Robinson) is hopeless at DIY. For two weeks running he has been engaged by Mum and Dad to renovate the raised border in our garden. WHAT A MESS! They also asked him to do a simple repair on our computer. Obviously, it was too complicated a problem for his aging brain. He has had to take it away. I bet that is the last we will see of that computer.

Talking of Grandad and DIY brings me to a very annoying fact of life I have learned.

Sorry, yes I have finished the list of the seven things I learned last week. You have to be succinct in this life or how are you ever going to fit all the living you gotta do in the slot you are allocated.

I am in to protest time now. My protest is this:

When Grandad comes to see me I stick with him all the time. You have to maximise time with him, don’t you? He’s old, unlike Mamma, he looks old, unlike Mamma, he behaves old, unlike Mamma. Already he can’t hear and he can’t see. So his time on this mortal coil has to be limited, so I need to max up my time with him.

Just imagine my horror when he goes out into the garden to put up cane fencing and apply an in your face, bright tan preservative paint to it and I was BANNED, yes BANNED! There is no other word for it from joining him.

And I am the most brilliant painter in all the world. I could easily have got as much paint on me as Grandad got on him. Ok, I know Grandad got loads of paint on him and I’m only little so I would not get any where near as much on me but I would have tried my best splashing it all over.

It is so frustrating the fresh air and experience I missed because of a Mamma whim.

The only reason she kept me from joining Grandad is because she was jealous and took it out on me. Her and Grandad go everywhere and do everything together except shopping. Mamma wanted to help Grandad and he said “No, painting is men’s work. Too dangerous for Mammas” So she said “If I can’t help, you can’t, George.”

The other thing was when Grandad checked out the computer. Again, I need to max up my time with him. Computers, TV remotes, smartphones and tablets are my thing, my speciality. They come naturally to me. Well I think they do but I can only assume because no one gives me an opportunity to get anywhere near them. “No George. Put it down.”

But I know something, I could have had that computer in more bits than Grandad achieved in half the time. BUT THEY STOPPED ME joining him! Why?

Oh well (By Fleetwood Mac No.2 8th November 1969) Grandad, that is so irritating when you put words in my blog.

I’m off to see what I can learn today. I think I’ll go and learn what historic documents can be found that slipped behind the computer now Grandad has taken it away. Or maybe trim one minute off my record for climbing the stairs unnoticed by an adult.

Bye Bye

George 16 months old tries to learn something daily