GEORGE AGED 2 BLOG – GET OUT OF JAIL (BED) FREE
jeanniejeanniejeannie.co.uk BLOG 14th September 2018
THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY
Hi, welcome to my world. Won’t you come on in?
George here, again.
So many exciting things are constantly happening in my life. Mainly created by me, I might add, because I am an exciting kind of guy. Things like Dad’s Birthday, Mum’s Birthday, Uncle Ian’s Birthday, Auntie JuJu’s Birthday, Uncle Peter’s Birthday – what’s he all about then, how did he get in the cycle – swimming achievements, going on holiday, hitting time-out full on, taking Sister Freya not only to school but to a new class and Superheroes Group and jumping on and bouncing off the settee.
So that you get the full picture of what sort of character I am think of Tigger from Winnie the Pooh and add buckets full of extra bounciness and that’s me!
I could bore you with a complete blog of exciting things I did in August but I’ll spare you that pain. Instead, to get across how exciting a month it was I’ll just add I spent a record amount of time in time-out. That just shows I must have done so many amazingly exciting things.
The most exciting thing ever is the bars have been taken off my bed (or cot). I’m now free (well I’m not really, I’m still only two). (Grandad joke alert).
Maybe you can answer this for me. Why is it that the only crime I committed was to be born and I was sentenced to a life time of sleeping behind bars? That is behind bars of a cot. I was caged up like a dangerous lion or tiger or a criminal or a battery hen.
It is Mum and Dad’s judgement you have to question. For example, why do you think they thought they needed to cage me in? What did they think I was going to do? Get out of the cot and wander around the house and go downstairs in the dark, scary night. Is the Pope Catholic? Of course I would. But what’s the problem with that in the middle of the night? I suppose I could get into things I am not allowed to when there is an adult present. But would that mean I wreck the place including myself? Probably.
I also have to question my Mum and Dad’s judgement on the choice of bed. Ok, its bog standard…a bed, somewhere to sleep.
But with a little imagination you can turn a bed into something magical. There must be a website called DreamBeds.com, or AmazingBedsThatLookNothingLikeBeds.com or DisneyBeds.com.
I do know for a fact that you can get a bed that looks like Lightning McQueen, Thomas the Tank Engine or a Pirate Ship.
Alright maybe they feel they have spent enough lining the pockets of these character creators, but they could have bought me and Sister Freya bunk beds, like Peppa Pig and her brother George sleep in. I know Peppa’s George is not as brave and adventurous as me so he sleeps on the bottom bunk, but it goes without saying I would HAVE to sleep on the top bunk. Wow, exciting.
I bet it would have to be put in Sister Freya’s bedroom, because that’s how it works in this family, I am bottom of the pile. And Sister Freya’s bedroom and world is a bit too pink for my liking. I guess it’s not one of my better ideas.
But it is good to wake up and see just fresh air and the rest of my room instead of bars and not to have any restrictions.
So now if I want to get out of bed in the middle of the night for a wander around I can do so. I’m a free range bird. Or so you would think, but wrong. I get to my bedroom door and bang, BARS again! I have free range of my bedroom but no further.
What’s this obsession my parents have with bars?
There has been big trouble in my family of late, all surrounding Grandad. Although me and Cousin Ewan are simply the best at being the naughtiest children ever, Grandad is miles ahead of us in naughtiness and is far naughtier than both of us put together. That I feel is good, healthy and very important.
Firstly it is important that he is more naughty than us because we are reliant on him to teach us all the hints and wrinkles about being naughty. Fortunately he has a vast experience over many, many years of being naughty. If we were as naughty as him how would we learn more naughtiness.
Secondly it keeps us from being No.1 on the Naughty Step as it is a major stigma at our age although something we do aspire to.
Thirdly because he is so naughty he often has to take the rap for us as we sidestep issues and point the accusing finger at him.
A couple of weeks ago Grandad and Mamma were on my watch, yes, it would happen on my watch wouldn’t it?
When they came I thought Grandad had a roguish look upon his face, but I put it down to the fact that he had a very bad cold.
He brought loads of Grandad toys with him, you know the type of thing, spades, garden forks, hedge clippers and log saws. He started chopping the hedges and trees down in our garden.
Even I know that’s naughty. I’ve done little things like pull a leaf off plants or a flower head off to give to Mummy and served my time in “Time Out” for my sins. I also had a sunflower plant and gave that a bad time too, but it did manage to cling on to life.
But what Grandad did was unbelievably disgusting and despicable.
I protested and tried to stop him, but I had a more important party to go to.
When I came back you should have seen the state of my garden. All the ivy and there was alot of it, was gone, every single leaf. All in a great big heap at the side of our garden shed. The heap was far bigger than the shed. Our garden was wrecked, with no ivy, no trees and no greenery left except the lawn.
How naughty was that?
My Dad will be livid when he gets home, I thought. Grandad will be taking time out for weeks!
And Dad was livid. But Dad is very cool and controlled and as is his nature would not explode in front of us children.
But I know Dad made Grandad have this massive time out to think about what he’d done because two weeks later we had a Chinese Take Away Night at our house with Uncle Ian, Auntie JuJu, Cousin Rory and Cousin Ewan.
Throughout my life I have never ever known Grandad miss a Chinese Take Away Night but he did that night and no one said why, but I know why, it was because he was still on Time Out.
Wow, that has set up some target for me and Cousin Ewan to beat.
So, that is why I need to get back to my research project. I’m researching how to be mega naughty so I can top Grandad’s achievement. Am I capable of pulling it off? I’m sure I can with a little research and practice
Bye Bye, George.
ROALD DAHL INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE FOR THE DAY
Don’t gobblefunk around with words – The BFG’s instruction to Sophie
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE FOR THE DAY
“To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.” — Mark Twain
GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY
Two lions walking down Oxford Street, one turns to the other and says: “Quiet for a Saturday afternoon, isn’t it?”
Love is…what all the books in all the world cannot describe
TRACK OF THE DAY
If I Were A Carpenter – Four Tops
Highest Chart Position: No.7 on 3rd April 1968
©2018 Phil M Robinson