Hi George here. Welcome to my world. Won’t you come on in?


When you babysit grandparents it is a tough job and it teaches you that no matter how much you try you can’t put yourself first.


I want to ask you a question. What are the most fantastic things ever in my life and in the world?


Exactly, Spiderman, cars (toy ones of course), particularly red ones, and of course, it goes without saying, Lightning McQueen.


All are free on demand constantly on YouTube streaming TV. Sit me in front of that and I could be entertained 24 hours a day. I would learn so much about life from it too.


But Mamma and Grandad are old. They are so old their brains have worn out and they just do not think sensibly any more.


All they want is short bursts of Cbeebies and then try to persuade me to watch that intermittently interspersed with playing, reading books and doing creative things like Playdoh and washing the pots.


What a load of b*******. And they try to pass themselves off as caring grandparents.


They don’t seem to realise what age I am. Cbeebies is for kids. I grew out of that long ago. They do not realise how mature my taste in TV is now. Ok, I’ll admit I do like Bing, ok if you are pushing it also Peter Rabbit and Friends. Ok, alright and Twirlywoos and Octonauts and Waffle the Dog and Justin’s House and Something Special  and Teletubbies… and Chugginton and Go Jetters and …I suppose Topsy & Tim  and Postman Pat. But that’s all


Anyway as a compromise and a meeting of the minds we went shopping. Yet again I selflessly gave up my preferred shops of Toymaster, The Works, WHS, and Wilkos’ to allow them their first choice: Waitrose.


Ok, I have to admit I did think at least they sell toys and books.


For a start though we left our house to go to Mamma’s car and the wind was so strong it almost blew us away. Fortunately Grandad is the shape and as heavy as Mr Greedy and he was holding me tightly otherwise I would have been blown high in to the sky.


That would have been ok if it was night because the moon would have been shining and I would have landed on the moon. I could have nipped into the moon’s McDonalds and had a burger and fries and a bottle of water. I could have sat around waiting for the wind to drop. Then, opening up my Spiderman umbrella I would gently float down to my home.


But it was daytime. Sometimes in the daytime you can see the moon in the sky but I couldn’t see it on my windy Wednesday. Does the moon go to bed in the day like Daddy does when he has to work all night? I guess it does. I do not know where I would have blown to. I suppose I would just have twirled around in the sky like you see the plastic bags doing.


At Waitrose Mamma had an item to pick up at ‘Click and Collect’. That sounds exciting I thought. She’s suddenly become 21st Century.


How wrong could I be?


For ‘Click and Collect’ you have the whole of the internet, the World Wide Web which celebrated its 30th birthday last week, to choose something wildly exciting and adventurous. And what had she ‘Clicked’ on to ‘Collect’, a door mat. Can you think of anything more dull and boring?


Anyway Grandad took me around the vegetable section. I told him what all the fruit and veg were called whether he wanted to know or not. I think it was an education for him. Except one vegetable. It was the only time I thought I was actually going to learn something. I didn’t know what it was called. But hey-ho, neither did Grandad.


When we were in the melon section there was one that looked exactly like a football. Here was I a two year old boy (as everyone seems to insist on emphasizing), come face to face with a football shaped object. So, I picked it up and bounced it like a ball. What else would anyone expect me to do?


It was so funny Grandad did not know where to put himself with embarrassment. He quickly whisked me through the tutting crowds of Waitrose shelf stackers and customers to the fresh fish section.


For some reason Grandad loves looking at dead fish lying on a bed of ice.


We moved on through the Pizza Section. I chose a really delicious looking one but Grandad made me put it back. I think he was still in fishing mode.


And then Mamma rejoined us and normality took over.


I say rejoined us, I suppose she rescued me and took us to the toy section. The toy section, in fact any toy section in any shop only sell one thing of interest to me, CARS! I chose a brilliant red one. A dream car.


Mamma intervened saying it was too expensive for someone on pension to buy and suggested a small yellow one costing £2. How very dare she? She knows absolutely zilch about cars.


So I had a Paw Patrol magazine with a free telescope and a treasure chest filled with four gold coins. My treasure.


The problem with all shops is that once I’ve decided to buy something it is mine. I am very possessive, so no one touches it, right?


Wrong. The checkout lady always wants to take it off me to have a look. Why can’t they get their own. There were lots more on the shelf she could easily have got up off her fat backside and got her own copy.


We went through the wind to Mamma’s car again which took us to the pub for lunch.


But Mamma’s car is so bumpy. She needs a new one and I advised her as such.


Mamma knows nothing about cars. I’m not blaming her. It’s her age and she can’t help that. But I keep telling her “Your car is too bumpy, Mamma, you need a red one. Grey ones are too bumpy.” But she never listens or takes notice from me the car expert, you’d probably call me, Jeremy Clarkson, a petrolhead or the Car Doctor.


But whatever, take it from me, red cars are simply the best.


Another self sacrifice on my part here you will notice. My preferred lunch venue is McDonalds. To be seen in the pub with my grandparents is not good for my street cred. But you see I love them dearly so I do not mind giving up McDonalds so that they can go where they want to go. But they have a funny idea of what lunch consists of. But they don’t forget they are so old.


Mamma gave the pub lady some money. Mamma’s main hobby is giving shop ladies and pub ladies money. Every time I go out with her she does it.


Back home I have to sacrifice my TV again to entertain Mamma by reading my “Paw Patrol” magazine to her.


I find reading to be a strange phenomena. A very subjective thing. It seems to describe a wide variety of activities. In this particular case it meant putting the free stickers on the correct page and colouring in certain pictures that the publisher had forgotten to colour. With other books and magazines it can be lifting the flaps, doing puzzles, talking about the pictures or just looking at the pictures.


With Sister Freya’s reading books from school she says she reads the words, but I think she’s joking me really and makes up a story. She does have a vivid imagination, Mum says so.


I do think I’ll have to leave you now. That YouTube Channel on TV is not going to watch itself is it?


So until next time, Bye, George.



“There is no friend as loyal as a book.” –Ernest Hemingway


Happiness is…watching YouTube streaming GEORGE AGED 2 BLOG


I don’t have a beer gut, I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs.


Love is… wishing you could stop time when you are together


Blue Berry Hill – Fats Domino

Highest Chart Position: No.6 9th February 1957


Friday 15th March 2019


World Sleep Day

World Speech Day

Buzzard Day

True Confessions Day

World Consumer Rights Day


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