GEORGE AGED 2 BLOG –The Trouble With Christmas…

GEORGE AGED 2 BLOG –The Trouble With Christmas… BLOG 30th December 2018

Hi, George here. Welcome to my world. Won’t you come on in?

Have you read Ewan’s take on Santa? If not see his latest Blog post, here.

To be honest I never took any notice of this parent threat job about Santa watching and seeing who’s naughty and nice. He can please himself. If Santa decided not to bring me any presents because of my behaviour I know Mamma and Nanny and my Fairy Godmothers and Prince Charming Godfathers will make up for the shortfall, no matter how naughty I was. So it was business or naughtiness as usual for me. Another thing is, I find time out quite restful and good for the soul.

I like Kes Gray books. Do you? Who can resist a frog sitting on a log or don’t stick your finger in the jelly, Nelly. His Daisy books are brilliant, too. Me and Sister Freya had one at Christmas called “Super Daisy and the Peril of Planet Pea” which is all about peas which and an amazing book.

THE TROUBLE WITH… having an older sister is she has lots of Daisy’s THE TROUBLE WITH… books. It is all part of THE TROUBLE WITH… liking Kes Gray Daisy books.

THE TROUBLE WITH… THE TROUBLE WITH… books is there are billions of them. THE other TROUBLE WITH…them is they are not picture books and don’t have flaps. THE TROUBLE WITH…them is they just have boring words in them. Just what is the point of books that are just made up of words? THE TROUBLE WITH… words is I can’t read them.

Another TROUBLE WITH… THE TROUBLE WITH… books is you end up saying THE TROUBLE WITH…all the time, about everything.

That is why my Christmas Review begins THE TROUBLE WITH CHRISTMAS is…

The Trouble with Christmas is the fact that your big sister Freya has her birthday the day before on Christmas Eve. THE TROUBLE WITH… that is she gets twice as many presents as me and Christmas Day is a sort of Groundhog Day for her.

My birthday is in May, not even the end of May but at the beginning. So I get excited for my birthday and then have to wait seven whole months before I can get excited again for Christmas. THE TROUBLE WITH… that is it is just not fair.

THE TREMENDOUS THING WITH… Christmas (and go on then, I suppose Sister Freya’s birthday too) is that I get to see my grandparents a lot and also my cousins: Finley, Erin, Rory and Ewan.

THE TROUBLE WITH…Cousin Ewan is he sweats the small stuff. I told him don’t worry about being good for Santa, I don’t. Grandparents will make up any shortfall from Santa. I don’t think he dared to chance it though.

Let’s switch the subject. THE TROUBLE WITH…nursery is they organised the Christmas party when I wasn’t there. B*******!!!. I think it was intentional. The Nursery Christmas Party Management Committee looked down the list of days when I was not in nursery and said “We’ll have it that day, when he’s not in.”

THE TROUBLE WITH… me at the Nursery Christmas Party is I am pretty hot when it comes to kissing under the mistletoe. It’s in my jeans. THE TROUBLE WITH…Grandad is he seems to think I get it from him. You just have to humour him a bit don’t you?

THE TROUBLE WITH…Christmas is there are so many things I’m banned from going to because of ageism which is rife in our family:

  1. The Pantomime, Peter Pan at Nottingham Theatre Royal
  2. My nursery Christmas Party


  1. Sister Freya’s dance class show The Greatest Show On Earth – but they relented on this one and I was allowed to go to it.
  2. Sister Freya’s school Nativity ‘Humph’ – but they relented on this one and I was allowed to go to it.
  3. Planet Circus. Only Cousin Rory and his Mummy went to this but I would love to have gone.
  4. Sleeping in a comfy Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs’ Bed at Mamma’s.
  5. Go to the cinema to see anything

THE TROUBLE WITH…not going to the above events is I do not know whether I am able to behave in them or if I will enjoy them except Events 3&4. And there I was good and I did enjoy them.

At times Life’s a Bitch.

THE TROUBLE WITH… Christmas Eve is it is all about Sister Freya. Mum corrected me and said: THE TREMENDOUS THING WITH… Christmas Eve is it is all about Sister Freya.

I do agree with Mum really because if I was bothered about being good for Santa so I get lots of presents, which I am not, her birthday certainly takes the attention away from me.

THE TROUBLE WITH…Christmas Eve evening is we have to put out carrots for Santa and a bottle of beer for Rudolf. Ewan says Santa has to call at at least 1.4 billion households Christmas Eve. THE TROUBLE WITH…Santa and Rudolf calling at 1.4 billion households is that Rudolf ends up drinking 1.4billion bottles of beer or whiskeys and that is why he has a shiny red nose.

We hung up our stockings and looked for Santa out of the window in the dark, black velvet, night sky. THE TROUBLE WITH…looking for Santa in the midnight sky was, it was not midnight and it proved to be a waste of Mum’s precious time, Dad’s precious time, Sister Freya’s birthday time and worst of all certainly my precious time. He was nowhere to be seen. He was either at Costa having a coffee but they were shut at this unearthly hour, so more than likely he was at a Motorway Service Area.

Mum gave us Christmas Eve bedtime story reads, a few stories to get us into the spirit for Christmas. THE TROUBLE WITH…Christmas bedtime stories on Christmas Eve is it whips you up into an over excited frenzy so that it is impossible to sleep.

But I was glad as I was determined to stay awake and see Santa and Rudolf on this my third Christmas – sort of third time lucky.

THE TROUBLE WITH…staying awake Christmas Eve to see Santa and Rudolf is you lie staring at the wall and two minutes later you hear Sister Freya dancing and shouting he’s been and it’s 5.30am Christmas morning. It is so weird how that happens.

Our main presents were by the tree downstairs. I have to say I had basically a Disney themed Christmas with a dash of Superheroes in the form of Spiderman.

THE TROUBLE WITH…a Disney themed Christmas is every gift is brilliant, like the real Buzz Lightyear and the Lightning McQueen cars and you or whoever bought the item Mum and Dad or Santa has helped add to the Disney Corporation net worth which is as much as a small (or maybe a large) country’s GDP.

I also had cars, and books and cars and clothes and cars and sweets and trucks. Halfway through the aggressive tearing of wrapping paper I paused to reflect on last year’s Christmas.

THE TROUBLE WITH…last year’s Christmas was it was a dog Christmas. I mean all my gifts were dogs. I’ve aged a year since then. This year I have matured and become a Superhero Boy Racer whose whole world is the car. And Santa knows it.

THE TROUBLE WITH…Santa and Rudolf is they always leave me and Sister Freya a bloomin’ letter. Please excuse me for using the word bloomin’ but Santa always says it in his letter and you find you can’t get it out of your bloomin’ mind.

THE TROUBLE WITH…the bloomin’ letter is it goes on a lot about Rudolf having to take a lot of time out, just like me. It make you warm to him, though. It shows he’s human, after all.

THE TROUBLE WITH…Santa’s bloomin’ letters is they tend to be an outpouring of poor old Santa’s bloomin troubles. I think it helps him get through by bloomin’ sharing them.

He always seems very bloomin’ down, I can’t work out whether it is bloomin’ Rudolf’s fault or bloomin’ Mrs Clause’s (Mother Christmas).

THE TROUBLE WITH…Christmas day is we have to go see everyone in the world when all I bloomin’ well want to do is stay home to play with my bloomin’ toys. It feels like we visit all 1.4 billion households in the world.

I tried bloomin’ hiding hoping they’d go without me. But it didn’t bloomin’ work. Dad’s too bloomin’ sharp.

First we went to Nanny and Grandad’s house to meet up with Uncle Steve, Auntie Jayne, Cousin Finley and Cousin Erin. Santa had left bloomin’ presents there for us.

Then back home for Dad to grab some sleep before going to bloomin’ work on Christmas night. We then travelled to bloomin’ Mamma and Grandad’s.

Santa had left more bloomin’ presents for us there. We had Christmas dinner and crackers. Not bloomin’ crackers with cheese but crackers with hats in and Grandad jokes written on bits of paper.

Next to Auntie JuJu, Uncle Ian, Cousin Rory and Cousin Ewan’s house, where Santa had left us even more presents and we ate even more food.

THE TROUBLE WITH…doing all this Christmas Day is it is so tiring. I feel tired again just telling you about it. And don’t forget I think I had not slept all night looking out for Santa. I don’t think so, anyway.

THE TROUBLE WITH…being at Cousin Rory and Cousin Ewan’s house Christmas Day is you are dying to play with their pressies. How come their Christmas pressies have so much more play appeal than mine? Especially Cousin Ewan’s Paw Patrol Tower. But Ewan jealously guarded it and refused me access.

I had to take him on one side and have a quiet word, reminding him that it was Christmas. He quickly saw sense and relented when he realised I was very tired after touring the country all day and was not messing with my words.

THE TROUBLE WITH…Christmas Day is it is over so quickly. In my short lifetime I have managed to squeeze in three Christmas Days already.

Most certainly, THE TROUBLE WITH…Christmas Day is it makes you sooooo tired.

We went back to Mamma’s and there in the nursery was the most wonderful sight: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs bed which I crawled straight into to have a wonderful night’s sleep at my Mamma and Grandad’s Christmas Night Sleepover. How exciting was that, if only I had been awake enough to appreciate it.

THE TROUBLE WITH…a Christmas Sleepover at Mamma’s is that they do not have enough beds. Mum quickly whipped me from under the covers saying, “That’s not your bed George, it’s for Freya” and put me in a travel cot.

Yes, me George in a cot!

Had she forgotten I am all of three years old, now.

THE TROUBLE WITH…putting me in a cot was that I protested most audibly. So, she had to do something about it like let me sleep in her bed, and sleep soundly I did. I needed no rocking.

THE TROUBLE WITH…Christmas Day is it tired me out

THE TROUBLE WITH… going through it again here is that it has tired me out again.

THE TROUBLE WITH…that is I’ll have to say:

Night! Night!

Sleep Tight,

Love, George


You can’t beat someone who never quits


THE TROUBLE WITH Happiness is…sometimes it is a little illusive


If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?


Love is… rocking my world


Imagine – John Lennon

Highest Chart Position: No.1 10th January 1981


Sunday 30th December 2018

Bacon Day

Bicarbonate of Soda Day

December is Pear Month


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