GEORGE AGED 3 ½ BLOGS – Is Surviving Home-schooling Just

Hi, George here.

Welcome to my world. Won’t you come on in? Whoops! Sorry, no you can’t. Stay away, please. Well, stay at least two metres away. We are self-isolating. Are you?

This long holiday is going on a bit too long and it’s a really strange one. We don’t get gifts or parties. Mum and Dad don’t allow us to go anywhere. And no one comes to see us anymore.

What have we done wrong?

We should have been away at the seaside this week, but we have to stay home.

I’ll Blog about that in another Blog. But I say again: What have we done wrong to deserve this?

And Nanny is not very well. She’s in hospital. We see her wearing a horrible mask.

It scares me.

Nanny, please, please, please get well and quickly. Grandad needs you back home. And I do and Sister Freya does, and Finley does, and Erin does.

I don’t want you to be ill. I don’t like you to be ill. Please get better quickly and go home and let me come and visit you. Please! Please!

You know how people say be careful what you wish for as it might come true?

I now know what they mean. Well, it’s obvious, isn’t it? But is it? If you really think about it, there’s something very deep about its message, a moral we should perhaps heed.

The origin of the saying is unclear, some attribute it to an old Chinese proverb, while others think it’s from the Bible. It’s been used many times, including the title of a book by Jeffrey Archer and as an anonymous quote from the Tale of the Monkey’s Paw by WW Jacobs, published in 1902.

It was also included in Aesop’s fable of The Old Man and Death. The moral is clear to see, be careful of wishing for something you may come to regret – be careful what you wish for, lest it come true. Could it be that it’s offering a warning to us?

I used to wish that I could be at home with my Mum all day every day instead of me going to nursery and Mum going to work.

Due to the coronavirus self-isolation that wish has come true. But after three weeks I have to say it isn’t quite what I expected. Living with mum 24/7 is a bit, how do you say, full on. I’m ready for a break now. You can have too much of a good thing.

For a start she has insisted I do home-schooling. I know I complained about this in my last blog post and you’ll be getting annoyed that I am repeating myself. But I am not four yet and having to do school lessons daily, 8.30am until 3.30pm.

And sometimes it can be Saturday or Sunday. It is just too much pressure for me.

If I was at nursery, I would get two weeks off at Easter to have a break from my carers and them me and the routine. It would allow me to recharge my batteries. Do you know what I mean?

I thought with this home-schooling job I would therefore go back to nursery for the Easter holidays to have a welcome break from my Mum and my Sister Freya. But apparently due to the lockdown that’s not possible!

So, I warn you all again, be careful what you wish for. You might get it. And it might not be what you thought you wanted.

On Wednesday Postman Pat came to the door and brought Sister Freya an Easter card with a £5 note in it from Mamma.

Yes, that’s it, full stop. Nothing for me.

Mum sent a picture of my saddest face ever to try and invoke some kind of guilt feeling in Mamma.

She came back full of apologies and said she’d posted one to me along with Sister Freya’s and Postman Pat had obviously forgotten to deliver it.

Does she think I was born yesterday? Why can’t she be upfront about it? She’s not seen me for a couple of weeks and as she is old she has forgotten she has a grandson named George.

On top of that she used blackened the name of poor old Postman Pat using him as a scapegoat and when he’s not even here to defend himself.

She obviously realised the error of her ways and got her backside in gear. A card with £5 turned up for me on Thursday. The next day.

I am going to spend my £5 on a giant poster print of myself to send to Mamma so she doesn’t forget me again.

To be honest Mamma has seen me a week ago. I know she shouldn’t, but Auntie JuJu, Uncle Ian, Cousin Rory and Cousin Ewan couldn’t go out for seven days because Cousin Ewan had a fever. They were desperate for emergency supplies. Me, Mum and Sister Freya were good Samaritans and took them and Mamma and Grandad what they needed. We took them life essentials. To me they were not life essentials, we took bread, milk, potatoes. To me life essentials are Haribos and blackcurrant Fruit Shoot we didn’t even take any of those.

We just saw the four of them at the front door. We couldn’t even go near them. So, Ewan shot at us with his space gun. I wish I had taken mine to shoot him back.

Next, we went to Mamma and Grandad’s and waved to them from their back lawn. They stood at the window waving like gorillas at the zoo..

It was exactly like going to the zoo. The plus at the zoo is the animals are more entertaining.

We left their food on the doorstep as if like a lion they would attack us if we went near them.

I don’t quite understand why we don’t take them emergency supplies every day. What do they do on other days, just starve?

On Wednesday we celebrated Grandad’s birthday with him over the video link. We also sent him lots of videos and a virtual birthday present and a real birthday card.

We sang Happy Birthday to him, but the video took ages because we sang, “How old are you now?”. He is so old the video took half an hour to make and the counting goes way above what I can achieve. The drawback is Mum noticed and now it has become a home-schooling target.

Me and sister Freya and Cousin Rory and Cousin Ewan drew him lots of beautiful Rainbow pictures to wish him happy birthday and cheer him up.

Grandad ended up having a virtual birthday. Does that still count. Is he definitely one year older or a virtual year older?

My birthday is next, and I will be four years old. I want a real-life birthday not a virtual one.

When I was born four years ago, I expected a real life but it’s fast turning into a virtual one. The only way we can speak to anyone is over the video link. We don’t go to visit or play with them anymore.

Sister Freya’s dance lessons are carrying on through Zoom video conferencing.

Yet again I seem to miss out though. Why can’t they do my swimming lessons on Zoom. I could lie in the bath and the instructor tell me what to do.

During home-schooling it is surprising how rainy days have stopped and most days are sunny days. We should have had the paddling pool out every day. Do you know how many times we’ve had the paddling out? One. I bet you find that as unacceptable as I do. I believe it to be s statutory offence not to have the paddling pool out and filled with water on every day the sun shines.

I do not intend spelling out who the guilty parties are. I ‘ll just say it starts with Mum and ends with Dad.

Before Mamma and Grandad became reclusive Grandad helped Sister Freya and I sow some sunflower seeds. I have been watering them every day. The more I water them the bigger they grow. Sunflowers grow very high. As high as the sun. That is why they are called sunflowers. I ‘m hoping they will grow really tall like Jack’s bean plant did in Jack and the beanstalk. Then me and Sister Freya can climb them to a land where there is no Coromabobs and the parks are open, and we can have real friends, and parties again and no home-schooling.

It is Easter Sunday on Sunday. I’ve been exceptionally good at producing Easter cards and sending them out this week. And I made and sent Grandad birthday cards. I think the lockdown has turned me into Mr. Hallmark or Mr Moonpig. Mum says I’m more Mr Moonmonkey.

But do you think the Easter Bunny will still be allowed to visit us due to the self-isolation. I heard tell animals and birds cannot get Covid-19, so I hope he’ll still visit. I am desperate for Easter Eggs. But in this upside-down world who knows what will happen. Maybe Easter will be banned or postponed until Christmas,

In our house Easter Sunday has three certainties:

  1. We won’t have the paddling pool out.
  2. We will have to do home-schooling between the hours of 8.30am and 3.30pm (with an hour off for lunch}.
  3. We will still have to walk to Sister Freya’s school and back even though she doesn’t attend any more. Couldn’t we do that virtually?
  4. We will still have to do the Joe Wicks exercises.

On the day I was born, on Grandad’s advice, I mapped out a five-year plan and a lifetime plan. I didn’t plan for any of this Coronabobs crap.

Is this really the way life’s meant to be? Please don’t tell me I’ve been living life wrongly for the last 3¾ years?

Whoops sorry, I’ll have to go. I’m required for another video conference. Peppa Pig and Bing are calling me on my tablet. But where’s Spiderman and Darth Vader?

Have a great Easter Lockdown. And remember stay in, stay safe and fit and 2 metres apart!

Bye Bye. George.