GEORGE AGED 3 ½ BLOGS – Why Did No One Tell Me Life Would Be Like This?

GEORGE AGED 3 ½ BLOGS – Why Did No One Tell Me Life Would Be Like This?

Hi George, GEORGE AGED 3 ½ BLOGS – Why Did No One Tell Me Life Would Be Like This?here.

Welcome to my world. But you can’t come in. We’re still in lockdown and self-isolation.

They never told me life would be this way. Not even Grandad, and he told me everything. In fact, he told me a bit too much, it gets boring you know.

First a great big cheer from everyone in the whole wide world because Nanny is out of hospital. “Hooray”. The downside is I’m still not allowed to go and see her. Bugger!

When will normality come again?

Did you realise it was St. George’s Day on Thursday. Unfortunately it just seemed to slip by this year unnoticed. Do you see the link and why I got excited. ” St. George” and my name is “George”. I know My birthday is to come but I thought I was like the Queen and had two birthdays. But everyone seemed to forget. I got no presents. Another part of my life ruined by the  Covid-19 lockdown. How much more can I take?

Home-schooling is back again after the Easter recession. They never stop that do they? That’s what they ought to have a lockdown on especially when you are only three years old.

We learned in the week that I have been given a place at Sister Freya’s school to begin in September. I suppose that assumes schools are open again in September.

But I question whether I need a place at Sister Freya’s school. With the intensity of Mum’s home-schooling I think I will end up having to skip school years and go straight on to university. The only problem with that is due to lockdown how do I get to go and look around the universities of my choice. Do they do virtual tours? I suppose so. In addition I’d best start fine tuning my video-link interview. Any tips you have are welcome, please.

Mum seems very keen on teaching us Life Skills. I’m a bit suspicious about these. 70% of our curriculum appear to be “Life Skills”. Life Skills seems to include:

  1. Washing Dishes
  2. Drying Dishes
  3. Putting Dishes Away
  4. Vacuuming
  5. Dusting and Polishing
  6. Making beds
  7. Cleaning toilets
  8. Ironing
  9. Moaning at Dad
  10. Making sandwiches

And Mum just makes herself scarce and leaves us to do them.

I question her ability to teach us how to wash dishes for starters. Grandad used to teach me this before he was head locked down by Mamma. He washed dishes the correct traditional way. We always had loads of washing up liquid in the water giving a snowdrift full of bubbles. What you do then is throw them at one another. A bubble ball fight the same as a snowball fight.

None of that is on the cards when Mum does it.

Earache  attacked me  this week with gallons of discharge. To be honest I needed hospital treatment. I really, really was not well. I needed to go to the hospital Nanny was in.

But you know what Mums and Dads are like, they always have more important things to do like putting make up on. Yes, Dad I’m talking about you.

In the  endI complained so much they rang the doctor. I had to go and see the doctor. I insisted Mum photograph my ear due to it being in such a state. This would make an excellent photograph for any Medical Encyclopaedia. I owed it to medical students the world over to open their eyes to the horrendous scenes that may confront them in their medical career.

At the doctors, the doctor said it was fine and that I had probably scratched the inner ear and didn’t even send me to hospital.

I don’t blame the doctor. I know they are under a lot of pressure with Covid-19. That can cause mis-diagnosis. The doctor was lucky this time. The ear had cleared up by the next morning. But next time may not work out so well.

Mamma cut Grandad’s hair the other day. He doesn’t have much. He has even less now. Why did she cut it? Mum said it was due to lockdown. I think Mamma was getting a bit bored. With not seeing us she doesn’t have many laughs. She thought if she gave Grandad a haircut, she could have a good laugh, again, like olden times.

What I’m looking forward to is Grandad cutting Mamma’s hair. That will be an even bigger laugh

My favourite film on TV and at the cinema is Walt Disney’s “Dumbo”. Grandad read us the book on his Video Bedtime Story. Ok, he was a bit over animated and cheesy and not as good as the film. But it was good to see him and have a laugh at his new hairstyle after Mamma had cut it.

And the video inspired me and Sister Freya to make one. We looked at one another and said: “We can do better than that.”

And we did. Freya read: We’re Going On A Bear Hunt and The Tiger Who Came To Tea and Don’t Let The Pigeon… do all sorts of things. I read Tyrannosaurus Drip by Julia Donaldson and David Roberts (Illustrator) and 160 Dalmatians. The book is titled 101 Dalmatians. But I wanted to take longer to read it. And I can count to 160 now. I needed to put that newly learned skill to good use.

I do not wish to sound big headed but me and Sister Freya were good at the Goodnight Bedtime Video Stories. Damn good in fact. Almost up to Dolly Parton standard. I just stopped myself giving a chorus of 9 to 5 just in time.

To be honest if we needed it, we could have a YouTube TV Channel reading Goodnight Bedtime Stories and earn billions of US dollars. But as it is, we’ve no need for money. I don’t know what I would use it for if we got some.

I honestly do not understand the excitement and the need for money.

I find no matter what I need in life it is there before my very eyes. I don’t have to even ask for it. I don’t know where they come from it is just one of those magical facts of life.

Oh, except for Haribos. I do find I have to ask for them. They do not just appear. Maybe we could have a YouTube TV Channel and be paid in Haribos.

As home schooling dominates my life so much I do need to return to the subject. Dad’s lesson slots tend to be the best. We do football training. That’s like Freya’s dancing lessons with a ball. We do running and biking and picnic on that park. There were questions asked about that one. But my Dad don’t worry none. It’s his life and he does what he wants. A major Life skill I learnt that day.

Mum taught us interior design which meant we are changing bedrooms. Sister Freya is going in a bigger room and I get hers. I do not know who gets mine. Maybe Mamma and Grandad!

But surprise, surprise, who has the biggest bedroom? Sister Freya. Who has the smallest bedroom? Little old me! AS USUAL!

Mum got carried away and then insisted on us doing garden design. That was so easy. I think I am going to do Landscape Gardening at University.

To design a garden, right, get a piece of paper. Draw a square. That’s the garden designed. Then, draw some flowers on it. Next, you need a shed. Another square in the corner. Then, goal posts. Next, you need a water feature. That is a paddling pool and in the shape of a circle. And a tree to put a swing and a clothesline on. And finally, a triangle, being the slide.

You then have to put the plan on one side until lockdown is over and Grandad can come and work on the garden to make it look like that. Easy!

Wow, I’m tired now so it must be time to make another Bedtime Story Video.

So, until the next time, keep self-isolating and lock yourself down.

Bye, Bye, George.