GEORGE AGED 3 YEARS BLOG – WHERE’S JOULES THE HARE?
jeanniejeanniejeannie.co.uk BLOG Saturday 15th June 2019
Hi George here.
Welcome to my world. Won’t you come on in?
There is a mixed bag of items in my Blog this week to show what a varied life I lead.
I cannot contain myself with excitement for the first one.
I have been cribbing on for just over three years now about the injustice I have constantly suffered where a holiday has been decreed for everybody’s birthday in my family except mine.
But suddenly the situation has been righted.
Last weekend there was an announcement that the next year, 2020, the May Day Bank Holiday has been moved to my birthday, Friday 8th May. It just goes to show someone must read my Blog in high places and has taken me serious and taken action.
I am so excited because Bank Holidays are normally on Mondays but this has been shifted to a Friday and it is spot on the day for my birthday.
Grandad says it is to Celebrate 75 years since VE Day. So what was VE Day? This is how Grandad explained it:
“Next year’s early May bank holiday will be moved back by four days for the whole of the UK to coincide with the 75th anniversary of VE Day.
May Day is traditionally held on a Monday but will be put back to Friday 8 May 2020.
VE Day, or Victory in Europe Day, marks the day towards the end of World War Two when fighting against Nazi Germany came to an end in Europe.
The holiday will form part of a three-day weekend of commemorative events.
They will include more than 20,000 pubs encouraging people to toast the heroes of the war, while churches will take part in a Ringing Out For Peace.”
Wow! They do dress it well and do not mention my birthday. But it does make it an ultra special day.
So why did the government or even Queen decide to make 8th May 2020 a Bank Holiday.
Firstly, the Queen probably reads my Blog, took note of what I said about my birthday and felt sorry for me and decided to do something about it. She’s very caring like that you know, you can tell because it comes out in her songs like “Under Pressure” and “We Will Rock You”.
Secondly, Theresa May has resigned as Conservative Party leader so no one is leading the country at the moment. That means everyone has gone haywire and making their own laws. A Minister or MP had read my Blog and just thought “Let’s give the little chappie a break. Make his birthday a holiday. It won’t hurt anyone”.
Thirdly, Theresa May, after reading my Blog thought “I’m no longer leader of the country what does anything matter. They can’t pin anything on me anymore. I could give him a knighthood, but calling a three year old “Sir George Reed” doesn’t sound right, Anyway his greatest wish is for a National Holiday be called for his birthday next year. By the time it happens I’ll be long gone and it will be too late to do anything about it.
Thirdly, Michael Gove is trying to be in charge as Prime Minister and he says he had tried drugs. He could have been high and just thought what the hell and made my birthday a Bank Holiday.
Fourthly, and the most likely: my Mum is a very determined person. When she read my Blog she might have felt guilty that I feeling neglected because she had not waited and insist I be born when there was a holiday. No one ignores my Mum, least of all me and if she demands something she usually gets it. And don’t forget she’s a school teacher. So, what she says goes.
What picture do you like on your shirts, T shirts, tops, trousers, jackets and shorts? Obviously one of my favourites is Spiderman and Lightning McQueen, oh yes, and dinosaurs… and buses, sharks, cars, trucks, trains, Bing, vans, and seaside scenes.
But the thing I love most of all is a tiny embroided hare emblem on my clothes. I thought it was a rabbit and I thought hair was something that grows on your head. But Mamma says a hare is like a rabbit but bigger and with long, long floppy ears and long legs. There is a hare in Little Grey Rabbit stories by Alison Uttley, his name is just ‘Hare’ and he’s all full of life and swishy, a very bouncy character. I love him!
A lot of my tops and shorts and coats have the little embroidered hare. They are always different colours. Unless you have good eyesight you may miss them.
Mamma says it is the Joules Hare. Joules is the shop (and online shop) where Mamma buys her clothes from. She buys me some too.
My Mum and Sister Freya have a picture of a hare on their clothes, too. Grandad doesn’t have one, his clothes are too old and tatty as are my Dad’s.
I don’t think Grandad likes hare. He doesn’t have any on his head or any embroidered on his clothes.
I love spotting them it’s like a “Where’s Wally” book but in real life and especially when you go in the Joules shop. There was even a Joules shop at the seaside right on the beach at Wells Next The Sea, Norfolk just before the beach huts.
If there is something I am good at it is spotting small detail like that.
Another thing I spotted in Newark town centre was this sign…
Mamma and Grandad didn’t know what it meant, I had to tell them. Do you know what it means?
It warns you that The Big Bad Wolf lives at that house so stay away or he may eat you up.
I think it came about after Little Red Ridding Hood’s grandma got eaten by the wolf. The government made it law that wolves had to put a warning notice on their houses.
There is a similar blue notice you have to put on your house if you are a famous person and you have died.
You have loads of responsibilities in life from before you are born. There is a long list of things you have to be doing by a certain age. In The Haynes Workshop Manual Of Being A Toddler there’s a list of must do responsibility. At three months old for example the rule book says you have to wet your nappy in excess of at least six times a day. Fill it full of poo at least twice a day one of which is a mandatory poo explosion whilst your nappy is being changed.
At three years old everything changes up a gear. You have to take on more responsibilities. You have to tackle life like a man, one of those responsibilities is, rather than weeing in a nappy you have to do it like a man. That means standing at the toilet bowl and peeing all over the floor.
I love, no, adore Haribo sweets don’t you. So I’ve created this extra dimension to make going to the toilet fun and more pleasurable. I’ve managed to persuade Mum & Dad, I don’t know how, but I have, that if I go and pee at the loo bowl like a man and wash my hands afterwards to give me 1, 2, 3 or even 4 Haribo sweets. Loads of Haribo sweets and I can walk like a man! How cool is that.
But it made me realise something else. Grandad’s most favourite sweet in the world ever… must be Haribos because he is always going to the toilet, and blames his prostate and weak bladder. You can’t pull the wool over my eyes any more, Grandad. Prostate and weak bladder my…
Finally for my birthday I had two shark books and they are the best ever books in the world. They are Shark in the Park by Nick Sharratt and A Shark in the Bath by Sarah McIntyre.
I know there is also Shark in the Dark, and Shark in the Park on a Windy Day! All by Nick Sharratt
by Nick Sharratt. But I do not have those. I think if I ask Grandad he’ll buy them for me.
There is also Baby Sharks LOVE Pop Music! – Lift the Flap by Imagine That, Amber Lily. But that is too young and babyish for me, a fully grown and matured 3 year old.
The two Shark books I usually have for night time reads. They scare me a bit but in such a way I enjoy. I’m always getting someone to take me to my Park to see if there is a Shark. Grandad says there won’t be because there is no pond and therefore no water. But there is a slide and a swing and a fireman’s pole and I love them and I know shark’s do so one day there may be a shark gone to have a swing. Grandad sometimes gets it wrong, in fact let’s be brutally truthful, usually he gets it wrong.
We keep getting the paddling pool out, I suppose we could have a book called “Shark in the Paddling Pool”. Unfortunately there is no such book. I suppose I could write it myself. The problem is you’d never get a shark in a paddling pool because it doesn’t rhyme. But neither does A Shark in the Bath. But I suppose there is never a shark in our bath anyway, I look under the sponge and the bubbles longingly every night but there is never a shark.
The sharks bring my Blog to an end this week. There are no sharks in my Blog because shark and blog don’t rhyme. Dog and frog and log rhyme with Blog but there are none of them in my Blog, either. Oh well.
I suppose now is the time to say “goodbye!”
Luv from George
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE FOR THE DAY
One of the best lessons you can learn in lifeis to master how to remain calm
Happiness is…finding a Joules hare emblem
GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Love is… making important decisions together
TRACK OF THE DAY
Lullaby – Paloma Faith & Sigala
- Lullaby Sigala & Paloma Faith 3:23
Highest Chart Position: No.6 8th March 2018
WHAT DAY IS IT?
Saturday 15th June 2019
Nature Photography Day
World Juggling Day
Smile Power Day
Magma Carta Day
World Elder Abuse Awareness Day
Beer Day Britain
©2019 Phil M Robinson & jeanniejeanniejeannie.co.uk