Hi George Aged 4¾ Years here.

Welcome to my world. And sorry, I know, you still cannot come in. Not even wearing a mask.

Although there have been a great many mixed messages sent out of late.

Like I was able, nay, forced to go to school for a couple of weeks. So, that is legal in Lockdown is it, Mr Boris Johnson? But going to see my Nanny and Grandad and my Mamma and Grandad’s is illegal.

I don’t quite understand that.  Does that make sense?

This week has been our February half term holiday week from school.

I guess that was why we had to go back to school so that we could have half term holiday from school. You couldn’t have half term holiday from school if you were not attending school, don’t be silly.

There is always a reason why we get holidays from school: Christmas & Sister Freya’s Birthday, Easter and Grandad’s Birthday, Going away for Summer Seaside holiday and Mum, Dad’s and Auntie JuJu’s birthday, October Half Term, Cousin Rory’s Birthday and Halloween.

The reason for February Half Term holiday is because it is Cousin Ewan’s Birthday.

The sad thing is we could not get together for a Birthday Party!  But what is great is that due to Zoom we still managed a get together to celebrate the day.

When it was my birthday, I must admit I missed the party and everyone coming and bringing me presents. But somehow the presents still manage to turn up courtesy of magic, Amazon Prime, Royal Mail’s Postman Pat or just appeared.

And the major, major plus is you get so much extra time to play with your new toys. Normally on the only three previous birthday’s I have had you can’t enjoy your presents properly because people keep calling in. Often you end up having to go places leaving your toys at home. Then the marathon mega partying starts about 11.30am and goes on until 9.30pm or bedtime which ever comes first.

Although I loved it, it did not leave enough time to play with my new toys which of course I love most of all about birthdays. Doesn’t everyone?

So last 8th May (my 4th birthday) I have to thank Boris Johnson for Lockdown which gave me the best birthdays ever!

I had a lie in until 6.30am as it was my birthday. I got up and opened my presents. I had a quarter of an hour for each meal: breakfast, lunch and tea. Although tea is probably 30 minutes as we did go for a Birthday McDonalds. We had a one hour zoom with cousins. A one-hour Facetime with Nanny Grandad and Uncle Steve’s family.

The rest of the time was for playing with new toys. It felt like heaven!

Another plus is as no one could come to the house there was no one else to share the party food with. There were mountains just for me. How good is that?

That analysed means: NORMAL NON-LOCKDOWN PARTY:

New Toys Playtime 6.30am to 11.30am                                   5hrs

Party time 11.30am to 9.30pm                                                  10hrs              

Adding up to Total Actual Birthday Awake Hours                15hrs


Birthday Hours 6.30am to 9.30pm

Meals                                                                                                1hr

Zoom & Facetime Party time                                                      2hrs

New Toys Playtime                                                                       12hrs

Adding up to Total Actual Birthday Awake Hours                15hrs

In Lockdown there is 15hrs – 5hrs = 10hrs more playing time with your presents and toys and 100 tonnes of extra party food to eat than on a non-lockdown birthday.

You can see why I prefer Lockdown Birthdays.

But I have turned that around to talking about me and my birthday which was last May. I should be talking about Cousin Ewan’s 6th birthday this last week on 17th February 2021.

To be honest when it is someone else’s birthday the Zoom party is not so exciting and does not have the advantages of your own Lockdown Birthday.

I think Cousin Ewan so enjoyed his Lockdown Birthday as much as I enjoyed mine.

His Mummy sent the following message on WhatsApp after he had gone to bed on Wednesday 17th February 2021, his Lockdown Birthday: “When I was reading their stories, Ewan said ‘this is my favourite thing ever.’ I said, ‘What is?’ He said ‘Today.’

That is proof he saw the same fruitful benefits of a Lockdown Birthday that I did.

One amazing thing I have thought and thought about and still cannot understand is the science of Zoom Birthday Parties. The bit where you blow out candles on the birthday cakes on Zoom.

The particular Zoom Birthday parties In Cousin Ewan’s case and mine were very similar. They were made up of three Zoom connections.

On each Zoom Screen in both Cousin Ewan’s birthday Zoom Party and my birthday Zoom Party was a cake with candles. That was 3 different cakes.

The candles on each cake were lit in turn and the person whose birthday it was blew as hard as they could into the Zoom Link camera and every time, they blew out the candles on the Zoom link cake.

How does the science on that work? Does Zoom have special utilities that allows the air to be sent to the cake down a tube. But doesn’t that mean the candle blower could blow some Coronavirus bugs to you. Just in case they do this is what a Coronavirus Bug looks like.

So be vigilante. Keep an eye open for it. Keep safe!

Ewan had an Among Us birthday cake for his birthday. It was brilliant. Why didn’t I have one for mine.

Mum says we’d never heard of Among Us when it was my birthday. Why does Mum always have an answer? I suppose that is just one of those things Mums are good at and what makes a Mum a Mum.

As a party game we played Among Us at the close of Ewan’s 6th Birthday Party too. Brilliant. Mamma and Grandad played. They were hopeless. I wonder why we did not play that at my 4th birthday party?

One fact that may have stopped us is that we’d never heard of it at that time.

Ewan also had an Among Us cuddly toy. I guess if I want one, I will need to buy one.

But my Piggy Bank has Zero pounds in it.

I guess I’ll need to Crowd Fund one. I need to walk around the garden 100 times like Captain Tom did. To be honest I could run round the garden 100 times. But just a minute Captain Tom did it 100 times because he was celebrating his 100th birthday. Maybe I only need to walk round the garden 5 times as I will be celebrating my 5th birthday.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Easy, peasy, lemon squeezy!

Ewan had loads of Lego, a GIGANTIC, almost lifesized Indominus Rex Dinosaur, a wonderful No.6 balloon, a cuddly zebra. But the best present of all was a cardboard box he could hide in or even live in. I want to buy one of those too.

I would like a cuddly zebra, but his Granny bought it for him. The reason I do not have one is because I do not have a Granny. I have a Mamma. I have a Nanny, but I do not have a Granny. If I had a granny, I’d get a zebra, too.

I need to save up and buy a Granny. The problem is I don’t know where you buy a Granny from. I guess there’s loads on Amazon.

This week there has been three other minor celebrations, but Ewan’s major birthday overshadowed them all.

12th February 2021     Chinese New Year.     We celebrated by having fortune cookies. I was sent two pounds in a Red Chinese New Year Gift Envelope. We talked about JoJo our Chinese Cousin and ate my Chicken Dippers and Fries with chop sticks.

Fairy Godmother Emma and Prince Charming Daniel sent all my family gifts for Chinese New Year! Normally the gifts would have been for Christmas. But this year due to Lockdown and Covid-19 Fairy Godmothers were overwhelmed with all the work expected of them even though there were no balls at Christmas 2020. So, they rescheduled to the next best celebration – Chinese New Year.  The idea is some people might in future celebrate Chinese New Year instead of Christmas and take some of the pressure off Christmas for Fairy Godmothers and Prince Charming’s.

Fairy Godmother Emma and Prince Charming Daniel bought me a pogo stick which is brilliant for getting around the house. It’s very tiring and slow walking around the house. The pogo stick has speeded up getting around the house enormously. This is the “crowd funding” answer too. I can pogo around the garden 5 times or 100 times, however, long is necessary to fund an Among Us cuddly toy.

A Fairy Godmother Emma and Prince Charming Daniel gift by law has to make an irritating noise that gets on Mum’s and Dad’s nerves. This special pogo stick certainly does that. It is the most perfect present!

14th February 2021     St Valentine’s Day.     I did actually receive a St Valentine’s Day card addressed to me personally. Although I was pleased it is a bit of an awkward situation. It was anonymous.

Anonymous means it is from a stupid girl who has not put her name on it. The tradition is you have to find out who sent it and then marry her. I’m too young to get married. I want to see life first. I think I’ll accidentally lose the card.    

16th February 2021     Pancake Day or Shrove Tuesday. A day that is so good they named it twice. I love pancakes, don’t you? You can and we do, have pancakes for breakfast, eleven’s, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner, supper and a midnight feast. You can even have them as a snack when there is no official mealtime!

The versatility does not end there. Like a pizza you can have any topping. You can have sweet or savoury. My favourite topping is a mixture of honey, Maltesers, salt ‘n’ vinegar Pringles, chocolate mint sauce, sliced tomato, sliced cucumber, strawberry ice cream all on a bed of lettuce with orange juice from real oranges and tomato ketchup drizzled over it. Then, cover the lot in sprinkles and add a dash of brown sauce. DEE- LICIOUS!!!

FACT FOCUS: Pancakes are the favourite breakfast treat and staple diet of Prince Charming Daniel.

Well, I’m celebrated out this week.

And there is so much pogoing waiting to be done.

Stay safe so that I can catch up with you next time, please.


George 4 and ¾ years old.



TOP TEN Pompous Phrases

  1. With all due respect…
  2. Methinks.
  3. If I may say so.
  4. As I said at the time.
  5. ‏I would not resile from that.
  6. I will take no lectures from… (Neither will I provide a running commentary.)
  7. The fact of the matter is.
  8. Perchance.
  9. Blood and treasure.
  10. Do you know who I am?


(Courtesy Independent)



Embrace the glorious mess that you are.  Elizabeth Gilbert


Happiness is…February Half Term Week – Everyone is so ready for a week off school.


The police have just rang to inform me that they’ve recovered my stolen sofa.

That was nice of them, it was starting to look a bit tatty.


Love is…not proud.


A time for a traditional Birthday Party…A time for a Zoom Birthday Party.




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©2021 Phil M Robinson