Hi George, here. Welcome to my world. Can you come in? It is all very confusing, but I don’t think you can come in yet. I know, shops and pubs and restaurants and cafes and hairdressers are all open again as from 4th July. As are hotels, B&Bs, guest houses and self-catering residencies.

I guess I fall under the same category as nightclubs, gyms football matches and swimming pools.

But forget that, a far more important thing than that a historic occasion has happened this week. Well in my life it has. My first teacher has been allocated to me in time for starting school in September.

They obviously believe the pandemic will be over by the beginning of September and schools will be opening, again. And I will be starting for the first time.

There are lots of things that I find wrong about the world. One is that your parents are the two single most people to affect your life apart from the person you marry, and the astounding thing is you don’t get to choose them. It is a lottery. Luck of the draw. That has always amazed me.

Now I find the same thing is the case with starting school. You don’t even get to choose your First Foundation Primary School teacher. Another key person in your life. What a crazy world in which we live.

As my mum is a teacher and my aunt is a teacher and Freya’s fairy godmother is a teacher and my friend’s dad is a teacher, I know a little bit about teachers.

In fact, I could do a doctorate on the behaviour of teachers. Bearing in mind I am just starting in Primary School that’s due to the intense experience I have with teachers.

So, I thought I know exactly how teachers work. This lady will not phase me. I know exactly how to melt her heart and get her on my side. I have four years and three months (five months by the beginning of September) experience of lady teachers to call upon.

I was feeling confident, very confident.

“Hit me with her name, then Mum. This Queen of Knowledge who is going to lay my Education and knowledge foundation stones for me to build my entire life.” I said.

“Mr X…” (Mum didn’t say X, she said his real name. I’ve used X to protect the innocent. And I’m conscious about the Data Privacy Compliance Laws. “…will be your teacher.”

“Excuse me, Mum. I think I misheard you. For one minute I thought I heard you say ‘Mr’ X.” I said.

“You sure did.” Said Mum.

I was shocked I was speechless. I was also worried. I wanted a good solid traditional teacher to take my education to the heights. Not one of these new-fangled trendy teachers who calls herself a ‘Mr’ when she’s really a ‘Miss’ or a ‘Mrs’.

But no, Mum reassured me he was definitely a  male, with a capital ‘M’.

Why had I been singled out to be the only guy in the world not to have a female teacher. Freya my sister, Rory my cousin and Ewan my cousin all have female teachers.

I know my friend’s dad (a friend of my mum and dad) is a male teacher. But he teaches older kids. And that is to be expected. Older kids can be a bit unruly and need the scariness of a male teacher to keep them in order.

Cousin Erin is not at school yet and we don’t know Cousin Finley’s teacher. He starts school for the first time too, in September.

Maybe he will have a male teacher.

I wonder if it’s due to Coronavirus. A lot of strange things have happened and changed due to Coronavirus. Maybe you are more likely to get Coronavirus from a lady teacher.

It will all be down to Boris Johnson. He loves to balls up my life up. He stopped me hugging my Mamma and my Nanny and going close to them. I bet he stopped me having a lady teacher.

Another weird thing about my new teacher is that he has a Christian name for a surname. I think that’s a way of being more teacher friendly.

Anyway, all my misgivings have now been dispersed. So that I could be introduced to him he sent me a video where he read a book like Sister Freya and Grandad does. Do you know what book he chose? Go on guess.

You’ll never get it right. DEAR ZOO! My very favourite.

This guy is cool. He knows where the world of George is really at.

In all honesty and having a teacher for a mum I couldn’t see a female teacher being as intuitive as that, myself. Can you? That’s not being sexist, that comes from my hard experience of life to date.

For my first piece of homework I told him what I wanted from the zoo. A snake!

I thought about that a long time. I needed to get it right. He would base his first opinions of me on this first piece of creative work. It would form the foundation of not only my relationship with my Foundation Teacher but my whole education life that lay before me.

I did not go for anything as obvious as a lion or tiger. Or as big as an elephant. Nor as cuddly as a brown bear or polar bear. Neither a crocodile nor gorilla which I bet he expected.  I chose a snake because it’s original and Mr X would not have been expecting that.

That’s how I want him to see me as original, creative and not knowing what to expect from me.

I’m looking forward to school, now. I’m a bit apprehensive about who my mates are going to be. But I am looking forward to my time with Mr X and most of all to the books he and I will explore together.

And I will come out of this with a 1st. The first person in my family to have a male Foundation teacher.

Do you know even Mamma and Grandad had female Foundation teachers? I think that says a lot, don’t you?

I had to spend a lot of time on that because it is one of the biggest events in my life to date. Well, for this week, anyway.

There are another couple of quick things I want to share with you.

We had a tremendous day on Saturday. It was the day Boris Johnson allowed the pubs to reopen. So, Dad took us to Skegness again. Not for the pub but the Seal Sanctuary.

Mum didn’t come she had to stay home and do lessons over a video link for her university course. Yes, she’s still learning at her age. I think that is because she is a slow learner.

I thought, make the most of Saturdays out, George, because if Mum’s experience is anything to go by you’ll be doing school work on Saturdays and Sundays from September for the rest of your life..

The Seal Sanctuary was brilliant. But we were the only people there. I got a bit scared to be honest. There were no other people, but four crocodiles. Coincidence or what? The seals were lovely, but I was relieved to hit the Pier Penny Arcade, the beach and the SEA!

There were lots of “Nee Nar” sounds, police, paramedic and fire engine sirens. Dad said it was because the pubs were open. I guess he meant the police, paramedics and firefighters were going for a quick emergency drink.

The other thing was me and Sister Freya had brand new super scooters at long last. Mum and Dad finally relented. I think probably due to my Blog post where I complained that they were being insensitive by spending all their money on a rug for the house when the wheel kept dropping off my scooter. And Uncle Ian had bought Cousin Rory and Cousin Ewan new scooters and their wheels weren’t even dropping off.

I had a Batman scooter. I felt sorry for Sister Freya. She had a LOL themed scooter. She always has to have the crap stuff like LOL, Frozen or Disney Princesses. Stuff that to be honest I wouldn’t be seen dead with.

Mine being a Bat Man scooter obviously has lots of superpowers and can go at speeds of up to one million miles an hour. It can take you there and bring you back and even stand by itself if leaning against a wall. I think it can fly too, but I’ve not found out how that works.

In fact, I’d best go try it out. See if I can get it to.

Until the next time,

Bye, George.