GEORGE AGED 4 BLOGS – STARTING SCHOOL – IS IT REALLY FOR ME?
Hi, George here. Welcome to my world. Won’t you come on in? I think you can, anyway. But it all gets very confusing.
For a start it depends whether you live in England, Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland. Then it depends on which country you have flown in from or been on holiday to. In some cases, you may have to be quarantined for two weeks.
I’m only four and a bit years old. If Mamma and Grandad are seventy-one years old and can’t understand it, how do you expect someone like me who has only had six months of home schooling to get my head round it.
So, you decide, just as long as you wear a mask, I’m happy. I do not need you to wear a mask because I fear you have Covid-19 it’s just to give me the laugh of my life. Everyone looks so funny in the face masks.
There is so much happening in my life at the moment and all is exciting stuff. So much I cannot keep up with it all. I need to write a book instead of a blog post to get it all in.
First the bad news. Mum’s birthday!
No, no, I’m only joking that was good news really. The bad news is Eurodisney is off in October. Me and Sister Freya were devastated about that. Another blow due to the pandemic. France is suffering from the pandemic worse than us.
Uncle Ian and Auntie JuJu said we can go and stay with them on their holiday in the Lake District with Cousin Rory and Cousin Ewan. Mamma and Grandad will be there too. When Grandad saw how disappointed we were about Eurodisney he said that the house in The Lake District has a huge garden and he would turn it into Disneyland.
I bet that will be a right Mickey Mouse job.
Anyway, apparently, we can go to Eurodisney another year. But it was very emotionally disappointing.
On to the good news bits. We had to suffer Mum’s birthday.
I used to wonder why you would choose to be born in the middle of the August Summer holidays. Why not be born in May like me. A very good time to be born. Nothing else is happening. In August you are too busy holidaying and worrying about starting school to be spending time getting excited about birthdays.
But then it dawned on me why Mum’s birthday is in August. Because she is a teacher. As she is a teacher, she would not be allowed to be born in term time. She would have to be born in school holidays. And in the August school holidays, she would not be allowed to be born part way through the academic year.
My Mum is very old. Dinosaur old. She is so old you are not allowed to buy that many candles because of the fire risk. She was 40. Yes, that old. So, for fire safety’s sake we had to put the moulded candle numbers on her cakes. You can’t even do the forty cakes and one candle because that would make you dangerously fat and you might burst.
You can tell Mum’s gotten old. She’s doing old people things now. Get this. For her birthday present she had a table and chairs for the kitchen. Boring! And went to a hotel with Mamma and Auntie JuJu to sit around all day. Because she is so old now, she had to have someone come along and work on her face so that it did not scare people with her being so old. But she thought all that was a great present.
I struggle to understand the workings of the mind of the 40+ year old female. Why would you have furniture instead of Lego and Star War toys, and Batman, Spiderman and Hulk toys. And why a day at a hotel instead of a scooter.
Apparently, it’s the first indication of dementia setting in.
You see it was my Dad’s 40th birthday also in August. He is not a teacher, but he still had to be born in August because he was destined to marry a teacher. So, again you are not allowed to be born in term time, especially to help your spouse.
But Dad did not go senile on turning 40. He chose the best birthday present in the world ever. A new TV. It is brilliant, fantastic! I would have chosen that for my birthday too.
We did have some fun on Mum’s birthday we went to Sherwood Pines, Go Ape. We had a real blast on the high ropes of their Treetop Adventure course. With two loops of crossings to entertain and challenge, there was something for both the mad and the modest as long as we were over 1m tall! We went alone on the slippery Stepping Stones, and pitched into a team effort as we cheered on our friends and family between the tree top platforms as we tackled the Flying Carpet. We finished on a zip wire high as we settled firmly back on firm ground.
Dad & Sister Freya and Auntie JuJu & Uncle Ian with Cousin Rory and Cousin Ewan all joined in. I was proud of Mum, she managed it even though she is so old.
Afterwards we went on to Mamma and Grandad’s house. Mamma had prepared a birthday tea for Mum. She still thinks she’s her little girl.
As a birthday cake Mamma had bought 16 French Fancies from Betty’s. I don’t know who Betty is. I think it must be a friend of Mamma’s. I’ve only eaten Mr Kiplings French Fancies before. His are a boy’s version, a bit more basic.
If you thought that and Dad’s birthday were big moments in my life wait until you hear this: On Thursday 3rd September 2020 I started Primary School! Reception Year. And I am only four year’s old. The biggest moment of my life.
I had read up a lot about school, so I was well prepared:
- Topsy and Tim: Start School by Jean Adamson and Belinda Worsley
- Going to School (Usborne First Experiences) by Anna Civardi, Stephen Cartwright
- Starting School (Picture Puffins) by Allan Ahlberg, Janet Ahlberg
- Starting School Sticker Book (First Sticker Books) byFelicity Brooks
- Stuff to Know When You Start School (Dk) by DK
- I am Too Absolutely Small for School (Charlie and Lola) by Lauren Child
- Harry and the Dinosaurs Go to School by Ian Whybrow, Adrian Reynolds
- Wipe-Clean All You Need to Know Before You Start School… by Holly Bathie, Marina Aizen
- The Colour Monster Goes to School by Anna Llenas
- Ellie the Elephant Makes New Friends at School by Agnes Green (Author), Viktoriia Mykhalevych (Illustrator)
- Lucy and Tom at School by Shirley Hughes
- The Pigeon HAS to Go to School! By Mo Willems
To be honest I do have mixed emotions about school.
I’m not sure why I need to go to school. I enjoy bumming around at home, watching TV, playing with my toys, playing in the paddling pool, playing with my tablet, drawing, painting and crayoning, interreacting with the family going on holiday.
I can count to 100 and that’s more than enough for me. Everything I want or need appears for me when I need it.
I know all I need to know already. If I need to know more I ask Sister Freya, Mum or Dad or as a last resort Grandad. I don’t need to read, pictures tell me all I need to know. What more can there be to learn? So, what is the purpose of me going to school.
My two grandad’s and Nanny and Mamma are the oldest and most wise and intelligent people I know. They don’t go to school or go to work. They just stay at home watching TV and playing on their tablets. What’s good enough for them is good enough for me. I think instead of starting school I will retire like them.
I know Sister Freya loves school. She has hated being away from it for six months. She couldn’t wait to get back to school. But that’s because she is a girl. She’s a sister. Girls are weird. They are wired up differently to us guys.
They like different things like dolls and Frozen and Barbie and going to school.
Anyway, Mum had done this big build up for school. With her being a teacher, it is one of her pet projects. I suspected if I hadn’t have gone she would have been disappointed in me and felt let down. And if I say it myself, I did look very smart in my school uniform and my ‘go faster’ school shoes. It would be a shame to waste the look.
I did two hours 13.15 until 15.15. for two afternoons. It was ok. I jelled with two guys, Daniel and Finley who are in to the tablet too, just like me. So, we became tablet buddies. I tried convincing the teacher there was no point to me being there as I can already count up to 100. And I counted out loud up to 100 to prove it to him.
I think he was suitably impressed.
There’s a lot of children at school, more than at nursery. And do you know what, Josie, who looked after me at Nursery when I was a mere babby, she was at school too. She is now obviously old enough to leave Nursery and look after school children.
I did like school better than Nursery because the time went quicker. Ewan said that was what he liked best about school that it went quicker but it was hard work.
Note from Grandad: George will probably have a rude awakening next week. He only did two days of two hours each this week. His normal weeks from Monday will be five days of nine hours – 7.30am until 4.30pm.
But Mum & Dad say I have to go to school until I am at least eighteen years old and probably twenty-three. That is eighteen and a half years. That doesn’t make sense. I have learnt all I need to know now. What will I find to do in eighteen and a half years at school I can’t do better at home? Boring!
One thing I did not do in my two two hours was go to the toilet. You see to make my way home to the loo when I am only at school for two hours and it is a twenty minutes each way walk home to the loo and back. It’s just not worth the hassle. On top of that School do not make it easy or obvious on how to get out of the place.
Amazingly on my way home from school with Mum on Friday I saw Mamma and Grandad walking to meet me. They could not wait for me to tell them of my amazing school adventures.
Back home Dad had just set up his big new TV. Not the best incentive for me to leave the house and go to school.
But then Mamma and Grandad gave me a new ten pounds note to spend at Smyths Toy Super Store for being a brave boy at school.
I was beginning to like school by this time. I had two good mates, the days and weeks were far shorter than Nursery days and weeks. My teacher was good and Josie had come to keep a watch over me. And then it paid better than Nursery at £10 per week. Bring it on!
Cousin Finlay has also started school this week. That is a different Finlay to my new mate Finley. I don’t know how he went on. I’ve not seen him yet. That means only Cousin Erin doesn’t go to school now in our family.
I’m glad it’s not me that’s not going to school. That would mean I was the youngest and I would hate to be the youngest.
I should have a little brother, so that I am not the youngest in my family. I don’t want a sister; I already have one of those.
Well, I’ll have to leave you and go and do my homework.
Whoops! I just remembered I do not have any homework. It is very difficult to set homework for someone who has already learnt everything from his big sister.
See you next time…
Bye! Bye! George.