George’s (20 Months Old) Blog – WHO SPILLED THE BEANS?
Hi George here. Welcome to my world. Won’t you come on in?
I will probably be classed as an ageist here, but what I say is true of one set of my grandparents not both, I am grateful to say.
You see often when you get old, older than dinosaurs like one set of my grandparents, you’ve done it all and you run out of fresh novel ideas ending up doing the same old thing thing week in week out no matter how boring and repetitious and tedious it is.
Every Wednesday, as you know, I babysit my grandparents as a special favour to my Mum. And every Wednesday they do the same old thing. I go along with it because I love them dearly and if it makes them happy then I’m happy. But I do get bored. As we always go down into Newark and have a Big Breakfast at the Thyme Out Cafe on Appleton Gate. Well, Grandad does, I go to sleep because I am so bored doing the same thing week in week out.
Life is so short and there is so much I want to do:
- I want to stand on the bridge over the A1 and watch cars
- take the dog for a walk
- visit a circus
- tightrope walk high above the busy A1 road
- entertain a tiger for tea
- go for a ride in my Mamma’s car
- go to the seaside and swim in the sea with sharks
- fly high in the sky, higher than the birds into the clouds being carried by a helium filled balloon
- go to school for the day with Sister Freya but not in her class, in my own class
- visit a Co-op in Mansfeild
- go watch Lincoln play Liverpool and the winners play Newcastle
- go and meet Waffle The Wonder dog
- make a speech to the United Nations about Freedom of Speech for Toddlers (we’ve got none you know.
So this week on their precious journey to Newark I stayed awake. That shocked ’em. They didn’t expect that, or see it coming.
“Are you going to sleep?” Asked Mamma. She dropped the back of the buggy down which resulted in me being in a sleeping position.
“Nope.” I replied but not in so many words.
And to my grandparent’s obvious irritation, I stayed wide awake every minute of the journey.
“This is so unusual.” Mamma kept saying. “This is not normal.”
That’s good. We need to be different, I thought.
I usually slept in the cafe, also, which meant I was never given anything to eat.
But today was different. I was served up a beautiful buttery slice of toast. A couple of weeks ago I mentioned how pooing was simply the best, most outstanding thing in the whole world to me. But I failed to mention these things are fluid and this week, eating and food is simply the best, most outstanding thing in the whole world to me. I could have eaten anything and everything all day and I did.
So I was tucking heartily into my toast when they delivered Grandad’s Mammoth, Colossal Larger than Large Huge Breakfast. It was heaped high on his plate: bacon on top of sausages on top of hash browns and eggs on top of that and then even more with skip loads of beans. The breakfast almost scraped the ceiling.
So that’s what Grandad normally gets up to whilst I sleep in my buggy on a Wednesday. No wonder he has a huge Cheshire-cat-like grin on his face when I wake up.
But today was different. Come on Grandad I thought, play the game, please. I am your cherished Grandson. I know you just do not share food, (that is a written rule) but look at my crumby bit of toast compared to your mountain of a breakfast. So I took his baked beans from his plate. Not just one or two or ten baked beanz but every single one. I didn’t ask I just used my spoon and scooped the lot.
I know it was pointless asking because he may love me to the end of the world, but there is no way he would share his food with me. It is therefore kinder and rather than cause an argument and ill feeling just to take them.
And the beanz were gorgeous. But Grandad looked a little concerned, in fact alot concerned.
Afterwards, I happily went in my buggy. Grandad had that look upon his face that a Blackbird has when it’s just fed the baby cuckoo it found in its nest.
To me it was brilliant, a very different sort of day and broke the monotony.
Filled with food and fully content, I now allowed myself to drop off to sleep for the journey home. Now, you see how different my day was and it wasn’t difficult to do was it?
To make the day even more different I thought Mamma and Grandad could go home about 2.00pm and leave me home alone by myself for a bit of me time until Dad came home at 5.30pm.
I did not say anything to Mamma, I did not want to hurt her feelings so instead I gave her a subtle hint by taking her slippers off her feet and putting them away. But she’s a tough old bird with a thick skin and took no notice whatsoever. But I had another idea to make the day very different.
Usually when Mamma and Grandad are leaving I put on this huge dramatic scene of crying, screaming infact pleading with them not to go or at least take me with them. They never do take me with them of course, I do not know what I’d do if they called my bluff and did take me with them. But it’s all part of what is expected of you as a Grandchild and I would not be carrying out my duties correctly as a grandchild if I did not do it.
But this week I had a change in that routine too and just nonchalantly waved them good bye.
You see I have this amazing new favourite Cbeebies TV programme called Waffle The Wonder Dog.
So I love dogs more than anything in the world, except my Mum and Dad, Sister Freya, all my grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins and nursery carers, my cars, my food, my bedroom, stars, My Fairy Godmothers and Prince Charmings and a host of other stuff. But no one has bought me one. So I have to manage with this one on TV.
I therefore cannot and do not miss an episode.
So Mamma and Grandad tested the system and decide to leave in the middle of “Waffle The Wonder Dog”. Ok, so be it, but don’t expect any goodbyes or emotional outbursts from me, I thought. I cannot give up precious “Waffle The Wonder Dog” time and I didn’t.
So Waffle The Dog, I have so much to tell you about him. I’ll have to tell you next timr.
Bye, Bye. George