GEORGE’S BLOG -20 Month Old Where’s Mamma & Grandad?

GEORGE’S BLOG -20 Month Old Where’s Mamma & Grandad?

Welcome to my world. Won’t you come on in? George here.

Life is strange at the moment. Something creepy is going on and I know not what it is.

On Wednesday’s as you know I have to baby sit Mamma and Grandad. I know it sounds a big responsibility for a not yet 2 year old. I think it sounds hard work too, and it is hard work. You just would not believe what I have to do to keep them occupied and out of mischief.

They need me to talk and run around and make a mess for them to clear up, just to entertain them and give them something to do. I have to speak. I have to make trouble. I have to sort through books and actually listen to Mamma and Grandad read. Then I have to sort through videos and have to watch some boring animated kids stuff.

But I do not mind. It gives me a purpose and life would be the poorer without that responsibility. Or it was.

You see I have seen nothing of them for two or three weeks. Not a dickie bird. (What does that saying mean – Grandad putting words into my blog, again).

No body bothered to explain why I have been relieved of my duties. And on a Wednesday when Mamma and Grandad normally visit Dad has been around. Between you and me I do believe that was to ensure they didn’t come behind his back.

So why have they not been any where near me for three weeks. It’s worrying, and disturbing when doting grandparents are suddenly not there.

Your mind begins to work over time. Has there been a restriction order put on them? Are they ill? Do they have a contagious disease? Are they tired? Can Mamma not find the way to our house in the car any more? She is very, very old, indeed, you know. Have they gone on holiday without me? No, I’m sure they wouldn’t. Has the wolf finally caught up with Grandma? To be honest I feared it would happen one day.

So Wednesday came around this week. We got up as usual. And it was just that: a normal day. Mum chasing around like everything was on red alert and Dad all laid back. The crux of it is it was just a normal day none of the electric atmosphere that accompanies the days when Mamma and Grandad visit. The key words are it was just an ordinary day. A typical, boring, straight forward, bog standard, ordinary day.

I could have cried. Probably did. At what stage is it right to start mourning Mamma and Grandad.

We took Sister Freya to school. Then Dad put my coat on. On me that is, please excuse the bad grammar, it sounds as though he put my coat on himself. He put me in the buggy, just like Mamma and Grandad used to do. The thought of it brought a tear to my eye.

We are probably going for an extra swimming lesson, I thought as the format of the day was turning out similar to Mondays when me and Dad go to swimming lesson. That cheered me up.

But, no, Dad took me to the café that Mamma and Grandad used to take me to. Dad ordered a cup of tea and a Big Breakfast, just the way Grandad used to do.

I pictured Grandad sitting there, bright, golden, yellow egg yoke dripping from the tip of his chin and a Heinz baked bean stuck on his cheek looking like a zit ripe for squeezing.

I was wallowing in my sadness when the door of the café opened and who should walk in but Mamma and Grandad. I could not believe my eyes. So dreams do come true. And wishing on a star works and all the other clichéd claptrap.

People do say be careful what you wish for, what you think you want maybe more than you can handle. That is very true if you are talking Mamma and Grandad.

I ran to Mamma and gave her a great big hug. Her cuddles are so warm and cosy especially on a cold day. I can understand why Grandad chose her as a Mamma. Perfect material.

Fortunately I had my teeny, weeny dog with me and my Lego car chassis to trade with Grandad for his ‘Smartphone’. Well calling it a ‘Smartphone’ is a bit of an exaggeration, but it brings a smile to his little face.

The problem with technology is if you don’t use it you lose it and at my age it is important to keep up the skills of doing things electronically and especially on things I’m barred from.

Mum and Dad will not allow me near their phones. Infact, there’s only Grandad stupid enough to let me play with his phone. That is why I have missed him so much.

So I got my regulatory slice of toast. Then Dad, me and Grandad went walking. Yes you heard correctly, ‘walking’. I didn’t get in my chariot. I, that is me, I walked holding Dad’s hand. I need to get fit after Christmas. My target is 1,000 steps a day.

I walked into WHS. They have more than their fair share of books, DVDs and magazines, don’t they?

I sense the preparation for another Christmas-like celebration building. It seems to be called St Valentines Day. Grandad went to buy some Valentine Cards.

My heart sank at the thought of having to start a period like Christmas all over again. Queuing up to see whoever comes in the night on Valentine Night and telling him, her or it what I want. I don’t want anything. I still haven’t opened all my Christmas presents, and having to be good because you’re being checked on constantly to see if you are naughty or nice. Bah! Humbug.

Oh, I suppose there is something I want: a real live dog to take for walks and play ball with and have adventures with.

Mamma went to M&S. Grandad said she lives there. That’s probably why Grandad and Mamma have not visited me lately. He’s gone senile. Mamma doesn’t live at M&S.

Joules, Fat Face, Next, White Stuff or Tesco, yes, but not M&S. My Mamma is very fashion conscious.

I continued walking to M&S to see Mamma and by that time I was buggered. You can do too much walking, you know. Dad put me in the buggy so I could rest.

And we needed to get back to Mamma’s car quick. She was taking us home. I love riding in Mamma’s car. I love ridding in any car. Next to dogs I love cars the best in all the world.

If I have a dog I will call it Lightning McQueen after the star of Disney’s Cars movie. My dog would be the fastest running dog in the world.

In the buggy I fell fast asleep. The next time I woke I was in my cot at home. Where were Mamma and Grandad? They were gone. Or had they ever been there in the first place? Had it all been a dream?

Then I noticed it a huge bag of M&S chocolate Easter eggs. It couldn’t have been a dream. That is Mamma’s calling card. Dad was too much of a skin flint to buy me those. It had to be Mamma. Whoopee!!!