GEORGE’S BLOG -20 Month – If it’s snowing it must be Christmas
Hi George here. Welcome to my world. Won’t you come on in?
Grandad has a favourite Christmas Song. The words go: “They said there’ll be snow at Christmas.”
The song’s not to my taste. It’s not of “Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer” or “Jingle bells” standard. But he is my beloved Grandad and it is my duty to humour, encourage and support him.
But this week I have been forced to give those words very careful thought.
As you know the UK has been covered in piles of snow brought in from Russia and called the Beast From the East.
When it was Sister Freya’s birthday on 24th December all the adults said it was Christmas and I saw Santa a hundred zillion times and told him every time my name and what I wanted (all a waste of time). Everyone had holidays and said “Merry Christmas”. But it did not snow!!!
Therefore, it wasn’t Christmas, was it. Nobody had listened to Grandad’s song. “They said there’ll be snow at Christmas.” That means – if there’s no snow it ain’t Christmas.
But adults do not have the intelligence to work that out and went ahead with Christmas anyway without the snow.
So what happened this week? The snow came. So “They said there’ll be snow at Christmas.” So, everyone realises it must be Christmas and panic spread throughout the land. Everyone is a bit red faced, because the wind is biting cold, but more in embarrassment that Christmas has come and we’ve all celebrated it already. They had Christmas holiday, spent all their money, credit cards are full to bursting, They’ve opened all their presents, eaten all the turkeys and there’s nothing left except pizzas and McDonalds Happy Meals
Grownups can get it so wrong. It is frightening we put all our trust in them.
This week everyone realised their error when the snow came and have had to have holidays but rather than calling it Christmas holiday they called it Snow Days.
Now I thought snow just magiced out of thin air or the clouds. But I have learned it doesn’t. It said on TV that Fairy Godmother Emma brought all the snow. It is so exciting, that Freya’s Fairy Godmother Emma was obviously created by Disney. I have always felt that extra special Disney magic from her and Prince Charming Daniel when they come to see us.
She obviously has extra special snow powers because on the TV news it said “Storm Emma blasts snow and brings the Beast of the East.” And TV news is all true. They do not allow Fake News on TV news. And to think, that is Sister Freya’s Fairy Godmother.
I can’t wait till she comes again. She’s too busy snow blasting at the moment. I’ve never noticed her cold, icy fingers or icicles on the end of her nose. But I’ve never had cause to check it out before, I will next time.
With all the mix up of people celebrating Christmas before the snow came, Santa never came to the Snow Christmas. Grandad said that was because he had buggered off somewhere warm for a holiday 26th December until following 1st December. Yes, 11 months of holidays, that’s what keeps him so rotunda in shape and so fit and red looking (sun burn). There were no presents to dish out anyway, so what would have been the point. But there was the next best thing – Mamma & Grandad.
I went to bed as usual Tuesday night and the snow came and guess who else?
You won’t guess, so I’ll tell you. Mamma and Grandad. That’s right. I couldn’t believe it either. I awoke all nonchalantly as usual at 5.00am, going about my day. Then when I got down stairs what had Storm Emma magically blown in but Grandad and then Mamma appeared in that just woke up stance in her dressing gown.
It was exciting but a big responsibility for me keeping them entertained in the snow. I have very little experience of snow as a concept and have a lot to learn. They expected me to entertain them with it. As usual I managed.
In my almost two long years of life experience snow has been evasive. To be honest I had come to accept that it was fictional, just a dramatic special effect used only by film makers, TV crews, fictional story books, mountain tops and Russia.
I could not wait to get out into it, recreating famous dramatic movie scenes from snow movies like: The Snowman (Channel 4 animation),
& Snowman & The Snowdog
Peter Rabbit’s Snowy Day,
Postman Pat’s Snowy Day,
Fireman Sam’s Snowy Day,
Peppa Pig’s Snowy Day
and of course Frozen. Even stage shows like Disney on Ice although I did not see it because I was banned from it. Not that I hold any grudges.
Although it was snowing Freya still had to go to school. You can’t fool me. My experiences in life to date have taught me that they let her go to school and say right we are closing school at lunchtime because that is loads more exciting than just not going to school and saying “No school today. Snow Day”.
I understand Child Psychology because I am one.
The frustrating thing about those school journeys is that I was strapped in my pushchair. I could not reach the snow. Sister Freya bombarded me with snowballs. I was a sitting duck.
But an elephant never forgets. I will bide my time and when I’m older I will get Sister Freya back a zillion fold.
When Sister Freya returned from school we played in the snow. I started with football. Sister Freya showed me how to do snow angels. I did brilliant ones. Sister Freya said I was not doing it right because I was sitting up. But angels sit up as well as lie down, just like us.
Grandad tried to build us a snowman but to be honest he was crap. He said it wasn’t the right snow and not enough of it. I didn’t see him do a snow angel. To be honest he’s no angel anyway.
Mamma did not come out she just watched, old person-like from the window.
Fairy Godmother Emma was very busy. The headline on the front of the newspaper read: UK weather to get WORSE: Storm Emma to BLAST Britain with 20 INCHES of snow TODAY ((Thursday 1st March). Fairy Godmother Emma is so mischievous and has taught me all I know about mischief making. But she’s lethal with that snow blaster. I hope she brings it with her the next time she comes to see me.
I’m so lucky my sister has Fairy Godmother Emma, not just any Fairy Godmother but one from Disney.
Mum was off for Snow Days the next few days. And we did lots of Snowy Day things, me my Mum and my Sister Freya, like bake a cake for Dad. Dad did not get Snow Days. Someone needed to be earning money for the family. Good old Dad!
By today (Sunday) the snow is melting fast. But to all you grownups, remember the song next year “They said there’ll be snow at Christmas.” Don’t be impatient wait until it snows before you celebrate Christmas.
Bye Dee Bye, George.