GEORGE’S BLOG AGED 4¾ – Cheeky Monkey Excitement 

GEORGE’S BLOG AGED 4¾ – Cheeky Monkey Excitement BLOG Sunday 2nd May 2021


 GEORGE’S BLOG AGED 4¾ –Cheeky Monkey Excitement 

Hi, George here. Welcome to my world. Won’t you come on in. I’m afraid I can still only allow 6 of you in at once. And then it can only be in our garden or a park or an open space. It is opening up though.

When I agreed to be born some almost 5 years ago, I didn’t factor in that 25% of my life until I was 5 would be lived in lockdown. Of my 5 long years (60 months), 15 months, (March 2020 to May 2021) I have had to live under Covid-19 restrictions.

For a start I was never told that was going to happen when I was negotiating the terms for my birth. If I had known that I would have driven a harder bargain. Held out for… for what? A better life I guess… or more money.

I think Boris Johnson should at least extend the time allocated to my life to make up for these lost 15+ months. I put + because the Covid-19 thing is still not over until (as grandad says) the Fat Lady sings.

I wish she’d hurry up and start singing. Where does she live? I’ll go and ask her and give her a reminder.

Well, I’m getting uncontrollably excited, are you? You’re not? Had you forgotten, then, that it is my 5th, yes 5th birthday next Saturday 8th May.

My week of birthday celebrations which I will report on in my 16th May Blog Post, began brilliantly yesterday, Saturday 1st May 2021.

Did you know that on 1st May you not only have to dance round the May Pole, it is also Batman Day and you have to dress up as Batman and watch Batman films and read Batman books and comics all day?

Back to my week of birthday celebrations. We opened with a Swimming Gala. Well, I think, due to lockdown, it just ended up as the closest thing we could do which was a basic swimming lesson for me.

But afterwards me and Mum joined Mamma for a coffee and orange juice in Lincoln sitting outside a coffee shop. We’re not allowed inside. I’m not sure why. Banned for riotous behaviour knowing my Mum and Mamma.

Grandad did not attend. Why? Apparently, Mamma said he didn’t like shopping in Mamma’s clothes shops. I can’t fault him, there. Also, Mamma said he had to stay home because one of my birthday presents was being delivered today. You may say that is a call over and above his duty. I assure you it is not. He knew what he was doing when he swore the Grandparents Oath at the beginning.

He knew full well that if Mamma went swanning off to Lincoln dancing the night away with a latte and an egg custard and there was a delivery of a grandchild’s birthday present due, he would have to stay home like Cinderella and wait for it.

I was expecting a visit to Lincoln Smyths Toy Superstore, as well but that did not come off. What happened there then? I’d better get a visit in the week or there will be trouble. A child cannot celebrate a 5th birthday and not visit Smyths Toy Superstore. That is unheard of.

Celebrations for my birthday week resume today at 1.00pm. Me, Sister Freya Mum and Dad, Cousins Rory and Cousin Ewan and their Mum and Dad all go to Twycross Zoo.

I love zoos don’t you. I have missed going to the zoo. We were going to go to Yorkshire Wildlife Park. With over 400 animals and around 70 different species of animal, Yorkshire Wildlife Park is a fantastic place to experience a truly breath-taking walk-through wildlife adventure.

 But all tickets had sold out. Did someone not get their a*** in gear quick enough; I have to ask myself? We’ve known for over a year that Saturday 8th May 2021 was going to be my 5th birthday and that me and Cousin Ewan were going to both have a joint birthday celebration with a zoo visit. To be honest my parents have known it was going to be my 5th birthday on 8th May 2021 since 8th May 2016, the day I was born. So, they have no excuse for not booking early enough. I do worry about mine and sister Freya’s future, but can you blame me?

Twycross Zoo has around 500 animals of almost 150 species, including many endangered species. Renowned as a specialist primate zoo, it is the only zoo in the UK to exhibit all four types of great ape: gorilla, orangutan, chimpanzee and bonobo, the latter being the only bonobos in the country. The zoo currently houses four orangutans, five gorillas, 20 chimpanzees and 13 bonobos. Twycross Zoo has one of the largest collections of gibbons in Europe, and 37% of their animal collection is classed as near threatened, vulnerable, endangered or critically endangered by the IUCN. Many of the animals at Twycross Zoo are part of conservation breeding programmes which help ensure a future for species threatened with extinction.

The animal exhibits at Twycross Zoo are split into eight zones.

Twycross Zoo is a medium to large zoo near Norton Juxta Twycross, Leicestershire. The zoo has the largest collection of monkeys and apes in the Western World, and in 2006 re-launched itself as “Twycross Zoo – The World Primate Centre”. The zoo attracted 644,033 visitors in 2019.

But reading those two analyses I do believe I ended up with the best deal anyway!

Anyway, can’t tell you much about that visit because it has not happened yet.

Grandad and Mamma are not doing this either. I think they have to wait in for my birthday presents being delivered. My birthday presents from them this year must be colossal.

Like I said the visit to Twycross is a joint Birthday treat with Cousin Ewan. It was his 6th birthday in February. Zoos and Wildlife park visits were on his Birthday Treat Wish List, but Boris Johnson’s Covis-19 Lockdown rules scuppered that and barred him from going.

I don’t think he picked on Ewan in particularly, although Cousin Ewan took it personally. It applied to everyone. Not just in England but the whole UK.

So, Cousin Ewan and I are having an equal birthday treat. I think Cousin Ewan likes Yorkshire Wildlife Park best. I guess that is because everyone says he is a “little monkey” and with Twycross specializing in monkeys and having so many, he is scared they will keep him.

I share lots of my birthday treats with others. It is such good fun.

Me and Grandad were supposed to be having a shared birthday treat this year. His birthday is in April. We were supposed to be going to Legoland Windsor Resort. Never heard any more about that so I do not know what happened. Possibly Grandad could not make it as he was waiting for even more of my presents to be delivered. Can’t think of any other reason it would be off.

I have been very good because I have written over 1,000 words without complaining about something that bugs me so much. Time to catch up now.

Why is there not a week’s national holiday to celebrate my birthday like there is for the rest of my close family?

My Sister Freya’s birthday is 24th December. There is a two-week holiday to celebrate.

My Mum and Dad’s birthdays are in August. There is a five-week holiday to celebrate.

My birthday, if you are not already aware is 8th May. There is just one day holiday in my Birthday Week, Early May Bank Holiday. It is usually held on the first Monday of May each year. Not even on the day. But last year they did actually move May Day (Early May Bank Holiday) to 8 May 2020. It’s moved back this year.

At least my birthday is on a Saturday. I bet if you queried why the Early May Bank Holiday cannot be held every year on 8th May those in charge would say, “Because you cannot have a Bank Holiday Monday on a Saturday.” They make stupid rules like that.

But that means my birthday celebrations are curtailed as Mum and Dad are working and me and Sister Freya and my cousins all have to go to school for 4 days instead of partying.

It is a case just ripe for presenting to the Human Rights Court.

From 12th April 2021 lockdown rules have changed and 6 of us can meet in back gardens and parks and even in the middle of fields (but I think you have to leave the gate open) and in beer gardens. (Is that where pints of beer and lager grow on trees?)

That has opened up life a little (a lot actually, says Grandad) and with Mamma and Grandad being in Cousin Rory and Cousin Ewan’s bubble, we’ve all been able to meet up.

We’ve spent a lot of time with cousins and Nanny and Grandad and Mamma and Grandads in gardens and parks and places.

Adults have complained of being freezing cold. Us children have not though, yet we still have not been allowed to have the paddling pool or the water slide out. I do not feel the adults are really cold I think it is just an excuse because they are too idle to get the pool and the water slide out. “O dear look at me, my teeth are chattering and I’m dithering.” Chant the pathetic adults.

One good thing is that we have had a McDonalds’ takeaway Happy Meal every time. But do you know another stupid adult idiosyncrasy they have a Chinese Takeaway when we children are having a McDonalds’ takeaway Happy Meal. Why would you ever want to do that?

They are in self-denial. Stupid, to be honest.

Mamma and Grandad missed out on one such get together. At first, I thought it was due to an early birthday present delivery. But it appears Grandad had to go for his 2nd Covid-19 jab.

Grandad is so brave he never even cried. One day I am going to be that brave. Until then I think I will avoid vaccinations.

I think the reason it does not hurt Grandad is because the older you get the tougher your skin gets. Dinosaurs are millions of years old. Have you seen their tough skin? Grandad is as old as a dinosaur that’s why vaccinations don’t hurt him.

On another occasion Mamma and Grandad generously paid for everyone’s Chinese and McDonalds. Something about doing that mysteriously affected him. He wandered around like a Zombie, ashen faced with deep sunken eyes, as if a refugee from Zombie Nightmare Planet, chanting “It cost me Meghan Books” (Grandad note: ‘Mega Bucks’).

We went to Mamma and Grandad’s A couple of times too. The best thing about that was Grandad helped me and Sister Freya and Cousin Rory and Cousin Ewan dig up loads of earth worms. He has loads in his garden. I think Grandad is kind to them. He doesn’t dig his garden over very often so the birds can’t get them, and they are left alone.

The earthworms travel a long way to get to the safety of Grandad’s garden. I’ve even heard the worms in our garden moaning and chatting in a wormy sort of whine, saying, “I’m fed up with all these pesky birds. Let’s be off to the safety of Grandad’s garden.”

Me and Sister Freya had our School Parents Evening recently. I’ve only Been at school since last September that was 8 months up until the end of April, but it is already drilled into my psyche that School Parents Evenings are not the most leisurely and exciting things to look forward to.

I had been advised by the older more experienced kids in school that subtly slipping a tenner or two in my book handed in for marking works a treat in getting good teacher feedback to parents.

I said be real, where am I going to get a Tena Lady from. They laughed and said “No, not that Tena, a £10 note tenner in hard cash.”

But my money is too valuable and hard to come by to waste on such trivia. So, I didn’t.

It worked out good though, even if I do say it myself. If I was a film reviewed on Rotten Tomatoes I reckon I’d get a 9½ out of 10. Do you think he’d confused me with someone else who had slipped him a tenner?

He couldn’t say enough good things about me, anyway, nor could Sister Freya’s teacher about her.

As part of the new Lockdown rules, we’ve all been granted a haircut. That’s good, going to the hairdressers has evened Mum’s mood swings out a bit, Dad looks like my Dad again, Sister Freya looks no different and with me thankfully my hair is no longer looking like Sister Freya’s halfway down my back and I look like a clean-cut lad again, rather than an aging rocker.

Well, birthday celebrations beckon. The monkeys at Twycross are calling. They won’t look at themselves, or will they?

I’ll see you next time hopefully on 16th May 2021.

Bye! George!




  1. Chester Zoo

Chester Zoo: 1.9 million visitors

  1. ZSL London Zoo

ZSL London Zoo: 1.2 million visitors

  1. Colchester Zoo

Colchester Zoo: 1.02 million visitors

  1. West Midland Safari and Leisure Park

West Midland Safari and Leisure Park: 710,000 visitors

5. Yorkshire Wildlife Park

Yorkshire Wildlife Park  750,000 visitors

6. Whipsnade Zoo

Whipsnade Zoo: 672,850 visitors

7.  Twycross Zoo Leicestershire

Twycross Zoo 644,033 visitors

8.  Edinburgh Zoo

Edinburgh Zoo: 575,000 visitors

9.  Bristol Zoo Gardens

Bristol Zoo Gardens: 562,250 visitors

10.  Marwell Zoo

Marwell Zoo: 525,350 visitors11

11.  Folly Farm Adventure Park & Zoo (Tenby)

Folly Farm Adventure Park: 500,000 visitors

12.  Paignton Zoo & Animal Wildlife Park

Paignton Zoo: 475,000 visitors



World Laughter Day

Lemonade Day

Life Insurance Day

Roberts Rules of Order Day

World Tuna Day





The best way out is always through. – Robert Frost


Happiness is…Twycross Zoo.


A man found a magic lamp with a genie that offered him three wishes. The man said, “For my first wish, I’d like to be rich.” “Okay, Rich,” said the genie. “What would you like for your second wish?”


Love is…when opposites attract.


A time for Yorkshire Wildlife Park…A time for Twycross Zoo.


2nd May

2008 First film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe released “Iron Man” directed by Jon Favreau, starring Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark.

1955 Pulitzer prize awarded Tennessee Williams for (Cat on Hot Tin Roof)

1932 Jack Benny’s 1st radio show premieres (NBC Blue Network)

1929 Billie Holiday (14) and her mother are arrested for prostitution following a raid of a brothel in Harlem

1887 Hannibal Goodwin patents celluloid photographic film (used in Thomas Edison’s Kinetoscope).








©2021 Phil M Robinson