GEORGE’S BLOG AGED 4¾ – TALKS TEDIUM BLOG Sunday 11th April 2021



Hi, George here. Welcome to my world. Now from Monday, 12th April even more of you can come into my world as long as you stay in my Garden World (that TV programme or garden centre again) and as long as we limit it to a maximum of six persons.

But just look at what else we, (that’s you and me) can do from 12th April 2021:

“From Monday 12 April additional premises will be able to reopen – with the rules on social contact applying. Indoor settings must only be visited alone or with household groups, with outdoor settings limited to either six people or two households.”

Don’t they like to make it sound complicated and important. But anyway when it comes to school they say forget all that. That’s because Boris Johnson cannot stick us kids. Look at his cabinet men, women, old, every creed, colour and nationality. But how many children under 12 are in his cabinet?

I’ll tell you how many – NONE! – That’s why no one is speaking up for us on Covid-19 and just sending us all off to school with absolutely no protection or vaccinations. Fortunately, we do have another week of Easter Holiday.

Back to the new rules on Monday…

“Non-essential retail reopens; personal care premises such as hairdressers, beauty and nail salons; and indoor leisure facilities such as gyms and spas (but not including saunas and steam rooms, which are due to open at Step 3).”

Now this is the best news for me. My nails are looking such a mess, it will be a relief to finally get them done. Only joking!

What it does mean though is that I can finally go to Smyths Toy Superstore. That has been difficult not being able to visit them. So, I can go and spend my hard come by money. Because I am a proud sort I am conscious that I cannot turn up at Smyths’ Toy Superstore looking like an urchin from a Victorian Poor House. I would be kicked out immediately and viewed as a perspective shoplifter as my hair has not been cut and styled since my Christmas Haircut. My hair is almost as long as Sister Freya’s. But as Hairdressers open up I can go and have myself looking good and as I should for Smyths’ Toy Superstore.

I am very relieved Smyths’ Toy Superstore is allowed to reopen just in time for my 8th May birthday. Phew! I can relax now.  But please do not tell anyone. If Boris Johnson finds out he will close Smyths’ Toy Superstore again just for spite.

“Overnight stays away from home in England will be permitted and self-contained accommodation can also reopen, though must only be used by members of the same household or support bubble.”

That’s no good for us we need to go to the seaside and stay with our cousins and Mamma and Grandad. You see an under 12 in Boris’s Cabinet would put him right on that one.

“Public buildings such as libraries and community centres will also reopen.”

I can finally change my library books.

“The majority of outdoor settings and attractions can also reopen, including outdoor hospitality, zoos, theme parks, drive-in cinemas and drive-in performances events.”

At last we can visit the Zoo and Alton Towers and The Harry Potter Studio Tour instead of creating our own in the back garden.

“Hospitality venues (pubs) will be able to open for outdoor service, with no requirement for a substantial meal to be served alongside alcohol, and no curfew. The requirement to eat and drink while seated will remain.”

Great, I’m dying for a pint and a curry. I bet you are. I know my Dad is. And does it mean I can get a Birthday Party this year.

“People should continue to work from home where they can and minimise domestic travel where they can. International holidays are still illegal.”

See people to work from home, but it doesn’t matter about us children, still keep sending us up the chimneys.

The International holiday thing is something else to keep us youngsters in our place, too. To hold us back. I am 4¾ and still not had the experience of flying in an aeroplane or visiting a foreign land and do not look as though I am likely to in the near future either.

Oh well, moving on a lot has of course been happening in my hugely crammed full busy, overflowing life for the 2 week period 29th March 2021 until 12th April 2021:

  1. 29th March Covid-19 Lockdown Restrictions Lifted Step 1.
  2. 1st April April Fools Day.
  3. 1st April Break up from school Day.
  4. 2nd April Good Friday – Sherwood Pines.
  5. 2nd April Good Friday Easter Party at Nanny and Grandad’s.
  6. 2nd April First Day School Easter Holiday.
  7. 4th April Easter Sunday.
  8. 6th April First day of the 2021/22 Tax Year.
  9. 8th April Grandad’s Birthday.
  10. 9th April Grandad’s 72nd Birthday Party at our house.


  1. 29th March Covid-19 Lockdown Restrictions Lifted Step 1.

I went through this the last time I made a Blog Post. Best not bore the hand that feeds you, that’s what I say!!!

And after school that day what an unbelievable shock out of the blue as Mamma and Grandad came to sit in the less than zero, cold temperatures on our back garden.

It was amazing but unreal to see them . We’d not seen them since Christmas – 3 whole months ago. Very bizarre!


  1. 1st April April Fools Day.

Don’t you just love April fool’s Day. I do. But this year…it was boring. I didn’t play one April Fools on anyone and no one got me with one, boring, boring, boring!

My Cousin Rory’s teacher played a good one on Cousin Rory and his class. She said they were expecting an important visitor and all the class had to take a pair of scissors and cut the grass on the school field in preparation for the visit. Now that was funny.


  1. 1st April Break up from school Day.

Schools out forever. Breaking up from school is always the best day ever. But made even better this year because our teacher gave us each a proper large chocolate Easter Egg. Wow, back of the net!


  1. 2nd April Good Friday – Sherwood Pines.

Mum and Dad took me and Sister Freya to Sherwood Pines to celebrate breaking up for Easter.

We wandered down to the Gruffalo. And there hiding behind a bush was Mamma and Grandad. What were they doing there? Very suspicious.

They said they’d come to surprise us. But that, too, was suspicious. Mum and Dad had not said anything to us that they were going to be there. We think they were up to no good, probably collecting illegal firewood or even worst still gone to have fun together at Sherwood Pines without taking us.


  1. 2nd April Good Friday Easter Party at Nanny and Grandad’s.

In the afternoon we went to Nanny and Grandad’s. It was at that point I first realised the Easter Bunny has a lot of balls as well as eggs.

Like, without any moans (very much unlike me who is full of moans about Lockdown) he’s taken on the rules of Lockdown, is not scared and adjusted his Easter egg delivery duties. So, he’d gone to Nanny and Grandad’s on Good Friday instead of Easter Sunday and hid lots of easter eggs around the garden so we could enjoy Easter with them too.

Eggscellent Easter Bunny I love you. There were 6 or 7 or was it 21 Mega Eggs. Thanks Nanny and Grandad.


  1. 2nd April First Day School Easter Holiday.

Good Friday was the first day of the school Easter Holidays. It was very cold but what a way to start celebrating our 2nd Covid-19 School Easter Holidays. Don’t let Boris know we had a good day though. He will make us go back to school if he thinks we’re having fun. Up yours Mr Boris!


  1. 4th April Easter Sunday.

I know I praised the Easter Bunny on Good Friday at Nanny and Grandad’s. But then he thought he was on to a good thing and returned on Easter Sunday and left a trail of 31 Easter Eggs (most were small ones) from mine and Sister Freya’s bedroom all down the stairs into the kitchen cupboards and everywhere in the kitchen. To be honest I was starting to feel a little Egged off with the Easter Bunny.

You see, I was disturbed from a wonderful Spiderman dream by Sister Freya to chase the Easter Bunny Trail. I was half asleep. I had to take my bucket to put the eggs I collected into it. To be honest I was feeling a bit fecked off with the tedious Easter Bunny Trail as I basically sleepwalked it, following Sister Freya, just not knowing what I was doing. But I did get a bucket loads of eggs, that bit was good.

But Easter Bunny if you are reading this, by all means leave Sister Freya a trail of Eggs but have you ever considered following Santa’s lead and just putting my Easter Eggs into my stocking at the end of my bed?

Later that day in the afternoon we were able to go to Mamma and Grandad’s and have an Easter Tea in their garden. Also, as Cousin Rory and Cousin Ewan are in Mamma and Grandad’s Bubble they were able to join us. It was like old times.

The best thing was me my two Cousins and Sister Freya, assisted by Grandad went on a worm hunt and captured 35 Earthworms. That was so amazing!

Later, Mamma just handed us our Chocolate Easter eggs, coldly. There was no middleman Easter Bunny. And boy it was cold but that was due to the northerly wind blowing across the garden. But then I thought, getting our Easter Eggs this way and exchanging eggs with Cousin Rory and Cousin Ewan without the Easter Bunny’s creative trail really was so boring. I ended up eating my sleepy morning words dissing the Easter Bunny Trail.

But what a brilliant Easter Sunday, meeting up with my Cousins for the first time since Christmas. The best ever Easter!


  1. 6th April First day of the 2021/22 Tax Year.

So, how does that affect me?


  1. 8th April Grandad’s Birthday.

Grandad’s Birthday and he was ill. How ridiculous. You cannot be ill on your birthday! It was also his 2nd in Lockdown. That guy is just bad news personified. Anyway, it was a good job he was ill because the Amazon Prime White Van Man had not rudely turned up with Grandad’s birthday present anyway.

The best thing ever about Grandad’s birthday each year is that when it is over, it means mine is then the next birthday in the family to be celebrated. Can you think of anything more exciting? I certainly can’t.


  1. 9th April Grandad’s 72nd Birthday Party at our house.

Typical, Mum was putting on a party for Grandad in our back garden today, so he made a miraculous recovery and he and Mamma get to our house at 4.00pm precisely. Due to Cousin Rory and Cousin Ewan being in Mamma and Grandad’s bubble they came too. In fact, we were all in bubbles. Grandad gave us each a party bag and included a canister of bubble mixture in it. We all had a great time blowing awesome huge bubbles meaning we were all in everyone’s bubble.

Mum does brilliant party food. Everyone was stuffed. Grandad’s two favourite cakes are cherry cake and Mum’s Roadkill Hedgehog Cake. He got the Cherry Birthday Cake, he loved that, but for some reason he was not given a Roadkill Hedgehog Cake.

When the Cherry Birthday Cake was brought out it had a “7” and a “2” on the top. Mum said her and Dad did not earn the amount of money together that it would cost to buy 72 candles that were needed for the top of the cake.

We sang the “Happy Birthday” jobby. And then as nothing is spared for my Grandad, we love him so much. We sang “How old are you now and counted out every single number 1-72.

That is: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,43,44,45,46,47,48,49,50,51,52,53,54,55,56,57,58,59,60,61,62,63,64,65,66,67,68,69,70,71,72.

As we said one number a minute that was 72 minutes or 1 hour 12 minutes of my life I can never get back.

I may have thought the Easter Sunday Easter Bunny Trail was tedious, but you don’t know tedium until you’ve done a countdown year by year of Grandad’s life.

 The only problem besides this on the day was Grandad obviously thinking it was a fancy dress party and he came dressed as an old bloke with lots of scarves, hats, gloves and coats on and blankets wrapped round his body and legs complaining about the cold.

We tried telling him it was not a Fancy Dress Party, but he still kept putting on more and more layers of hats, scarves, gloves and blankets.

Oh well, that’s Grandad for you.

Well, I’m off now to enjoy another week of School Holiday if Boris does not speak to the Nation at 5.00pm and cancel the rest of the school holidays. Wish me luck.

See you in two weeks…

Bye, George.



The Top 10: Things people are remembered for that they didn’t actually do


  1. Eating a hamster: Freddie Starr. The Sun’s front page headline from 1986 dogged the late comedian for the rest of his life. He never ate or attempted to eat a friend’s hamster. The story was planted by Starr’s publicist, the late Max Clifford, to drum up publicity for a tour. To add insult to injury, Starr was a vegetarian.


  1. Eating an apple: Eve. The kind of fruit is not specified in the Bible.


  1. Being emperor of Rome, and conquering Britain: Julius Caesar. His highest title was “dictator for life”; it was his successor Augustus who was first declared emperor. And Caesar invaded Britain in 55 and 54BC, secured a treaty which included the payment of tribute, and went away. It was Claudius who invaded again in AD43, adding Provincia Britannia to the Roman empire.


  1. Fiddling while Rome burned: Nero. We have no idea what he was doing: except that he was in Antium (now Anzio) at the time. But the Ancient Romans did not have violins.


  1. Circumnavigating the world: Ferdinand Magellan. He died in the Philippines, and it was Juan Sebastian Elcano, his fellow navigator, who led the remaining 17 men (of the original 270) back to Spain in 1522. Nominated by James of Nazareth.


  1. Inventing the guillotine: Joseph-Ignace Guillotin. He was against capital punishment and proposed it to replace existing, crueller methods of execution. It should really be called the Schmidt, as the prototype was built by Tobias Schmidt, a German engineer.


  1. Inventing the steam locomotive: George Stephenson. Richard Trevithick did that in 1802; Stephenson’s was the first to take members of the public as passengers, in 1825.


  1. Sitting in the “White” section of the bus: Rosa Parks. She sat in the “Coloured” section and refused to give up her seat when the “White” section was full. “An important lesson about choosing the most reasonable demand to make opponents look unreasonable,” said Blair McDougall.


  1. Closing many of Britain’s railways: Richard Beeching. He was chairman of (nationalised) British Railways who carried out policy set by Ernest Marples, the Conservative minister of transport. So he did “do” it, but he was the government’s agent.


  1. Mistaking mushy peas for guacamole in a northern chip shop during a by-election campaign: Peter Mandelson.






Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of. – Benjamin Franklin


Happiness is…Easter Holiday from School


Just got fired from my job as a set designer. I left without making a scene.


Love is…just what the doctor ordered


A time to celebrate Grandad’s birthday…A time to celebrate your own birthday.


11th April

1961 Bob Dylan makes his 1st appearance at Folk City, Greenwich Village






©2021 Phil M Robinson