Ewan: 2½ yrs & George 17 mnths
GOOD NEWS WEEK BLOG 3.11.2017
WHO’S ON THE NAUGHTY STEP THIS WEEK?
George: Hi George here. Welcome…
Ewan: … I know, to our world. Won’t you come on in?
But it’s Good news week – the news blog we blog together.
George: Oh yes, I forgot I was just going to start my own blog.
So what we going to pick up on, in this weird world of grown up news.
Ewan: Weird is certainly the right word there, George. Your vocabulary is doing good. Better than the news.
George: I am glad I am a kid where things are straight forward. You never heard of a kid having to resign or have his Oscar taken away for misbehaviour.
Ewan: No, us kids are just put on the naughty step. Although I think grown ups do over do the naughty step routine. Well my parents do on me.
George: Mine certainly do on me.
The other day I had this wooden brick in my handand forgot it was a brick and thought it was a ball and threw it. Easy mistake to make. It didn’t bounce but made a brilliant crashing noise.
I heard my dad ranting on as he does a lot and I just turned off to him.
Ewan: George, you just have to, or they’d drive you insane with their rantings.
George: I thought what a fantastic noise that made. A sort of loudest crash you’ve ever heard, followed by the gentlest sweet tinkling sound. I’ll do that again.
Ewan: Quite right George. That’s how we learn things.
George: My dad went ballistic, picks me up and plonk, there I am on the naughty step.
What’s that all about then?
Ewan: Complete over reaction, George. Just uncalled for.
May be your mum had upset him and he took it out on you.
That always happens to me.
I have never known a justifiable reason for being putt on the naughty step.
George: But that’s the grown up world. Over reaction and they do such crazy things after we go to bed and are not there to check them out.
Ewan: I’m glad I’m not a grown up. They are crazy.
George: I’m gonna make sure I never turn in to one.
Ewan; Instead of putting grown ups on naughty steps if they have done something wrong they seem to resign.
George: Whatever that means.
Ewan: It’s just the word they use in the grown up world for “naughty step”.
George: What like we go to “nursery” and in the grown up world they go to “work”. But it’s the same thing really.
Ewan: You got it in one George. Grown ups are so stupid they have to have their own words for things.
George: So lets talk about this politician who has resigned.
Ewan: I’m not sure why he has been singled out because Grandad says all politicians are sleazy, dishonest individuals who have no credibility.
George: He’s probably been picked on, like I am. I’m always put on the naughty step and Sister Freya never is.
Ewan: Same here I am put on the naughty step daily. I sometimes just go and sit on it without being told to cut out the laborious song and dance Mum and Dad go through before putting me on it.
But Brother Rory is never put on it.
George: It’s grown ups they just do not have a clue.
Ewan: They lack experience. In particularly the specialist experience of being a kid like we have.
George: Quite right.
Ewan: Do you know one time they put me on the naughty step and insisted I apologise for something I strongly felt I should not have to apologise for. They said “You’ll stay on that naughty step until you say you’re sorry.”
Fair enough, I thought. I’m here forever, then, because I’m never ever going to say sorry. And I went to sleep.
George: What, on the naughty step?
Ewan: I did.
George: Wow! That showed them.
Ewan: So looking at this politician.
George: Tell me why he ended up on the naughty step.
Ewan: Appently: Sir Michael Fallon apologised to Julia Hartley-Brewer on Monday after it emerged he “overstepped the mark” with the commentator at a Conservative Party conference dinner in 2002.
Reacting to news of the Defence Secretary’s resignation, Ms Hartley-Brewer told Sky News she was “incredibly shocked”.
She said: “If this is over ‘kneegate’ – him touching my knee 15 years ago and me not having any issue with it today – this is the most insane, absurd and ridiculous resignation of a Cabinet minister ever.
“However, I don’t think that is the reason.”
George: The grown up world is so complex it hurts my brain to work it out.
Where does this leave me? I am always touching my nursery carer’s knee in fact sometimes I sit on it.
Does that mean I’m destined for the naughty step for doing it?
Ewan: I know, same here George. It is very concerning. But there are two points.
- He is a Sir and an MP, we are only toddlers – we have more credibility and maturity
- Ms Hartley-Brewer final comment “However, I don’t think that is the reason.”
George: What a weird lot grown ups are.
Ewan: Whilst we are talking weird wacky grown up world get this.
The Sun reports that middle-class shoplifters are on the rise – stealing luxury items such as cheese, wine and Swiss chocolate.
It says supermarket bosses have reported an increase in affluent, middle-aged shoppers who “get a kick out of not paying for a bottle of wine of their Friday night steak”.
One manager tells the newspaper: “We are not talking about a few people stealing to feed themselves – they will clear whole shelves go behind checkouts and take spirits, coffee, detergents, wine, chocolate.”
George: Oh no! My goodness! Help me Ewan, please. I think they are talking about my Mum and Dad here, when we go to Sainsbury’s.
And sometimes they even get some guy to steal their stuff from Tesco and bring it to us in a van.
Ewan: I don’t think so, George. Your Mum and Dad do not look dishonest to me.
George: They say the one’s who look most innocent are most guilty.
I’ve been with them I know. They take a trolley go round the supermarket. Stack it high with loads-a stuff.
Does that make me an accomplice?
Ewan: Isn’t it so boring being forced to go around the supermarket?
George: And there are double standards involved. They clear the shelves and fill their trolley but you take one item from the shelf and try to put it in the trolley and its snatched off you put back on the shelf and you’re put on warning of the naughty step.
But who’d have thought it of my parents.
I’ve always prided myself of coming from a totally honest family.
Ewan: George, take a chill pill.
You do come from a totally honest family.
What happens when your Mum and Dad have filled the shopping trolley?
George: Oh, Ewan! I can’t believe I’m telling you this, but Mum lays out her swag at the checkout and (I really don’t believe this) actually shows the checkout lady what she’s nicked. She’s so brazen, boastful and smug.
Ewan: But think George she then pays the lady.
George: No, she doesn’t give her any money, at all.
Oh, Ewan, can I come and live with you when she goes to jail?
Ewan: Does she put a card intoa machine?
George: Yes, of course she does, you see a slot you have to push something into it. That’s a natural rule of living. Like you automatically breath, you automatically put things into slots. Like jam sandwiches into the DVD recorder slot.
Ewan: But in your Mum’s case at the Sainsbury’s that is a real credit card and she is paying for the shopping.
George: Oh. Really?
So Mum and Dad are not middle-class shoplifters.
Ewan: Rest assured George, they are not middle-class.
But, no, they are totally honest and pay for everything.
George: Even when the guy brings stuff to the door.
Ewan: Even when the guy brings stuff to the door. They pay on line.
George: So I do not have parents who are criminals. Wow, what a relief.
Ewan: No, they are as honest as the day is long.
George: What does that mean, Ewan?
Ewan: Don’t know, it’s something Grandad says.
George: Now when you’re talking weird grown up world you can’t get weirder than Grandad.
Ewan: Agreed. He is the weirdest.
I’m ready for a sleep now. I think I’ll take myself off to the naughty step. Bye Bye, Ewan
George: I will too. But I’m not wasting it. If I’m going on the naughty step I may as well do something naughty.
What shall I do? Throw a toy car, maybe? Empty all the DVDs from the draw? Smack Sister Freya with a book? Or turn the cooker on?
Bye Bye, then.