Grandad’s Blog about Feeding Grandson Ewan Aged 4
This week I was in sole charge of my Grandson Ewan.
Normally, Mamma oversees food which is a huge responsibility I keep out of.
This was lunchtime and I was by myself with Ewan. The full responsibility was mine.
I also knew this was tricky. If you do not present the right food prepared in the right way exactly as this little diva likes he coldly rejects it. And no matter how hungry he is will go without food.
I had seen even Mamma with all her skills and experience have an apple rejected earlier in the week. She had diced it in sections when apparently he likes it whole.
I could not afford for him to starve on my watch.
I knew there was no room for error! So it needed careful research and planning with military precision.
Here’s how it went:
Grandad: Lunchtime, Ewan.
Ewan: (Silence & no reply. Ewan was too busy looking through his Lego box for his green car.)
Grandad: Would you like strawberry jam on toast or cheese sandwiches.
(That is my complete repertoire of cooking menus, except Shreddies, which I avoided.)
Ewan: Cheese sandwiches, please, Grandad.
Grandad: (Thoughts: That sounds a minefield of disasters there are so many options and variations that I can get wrong.)
Brown bread or white?
Ewan answers but due to my poor hearing I don’t catch it. I ask him to repeat it, and like the girls behind the till at Costa, he repeats it in the same muttered monotone, so I still cannot hear.
I go to the kitchen and bring back a white loaf and a brown loaf.
Grandad: Which bread do you want?
Ewan: (Realising he needs to say it louder he shouts) White bread, please!
The next query I was unsure whether he would understand, so I went to the kitchen and there I took the cheese from the fridge and sliced some and grated some putting it on a plate carefully separated with lots of space..
I took the plate to Ewan
Grandad: Do you want your cheese sliced? (I pointed to the sliced cheese)
Or grated? (I pointed to the grated cheese.)
Ewan: Sliced (Pointing to the sliced cheese), please.
I went back to the kitchen to carefully prepare the sandwiches and then returned to Ewan.
Grandad: What shape sandwiches would you like? Two oblongs? Four squares? Fingers? Two triangles? Or four triangles?
Ewan: Four squares.
Grandad: And the magic word is…?
Ewan: (With great emphasis) Pleeeeeeez!
Grandad: Do you want crusts on or should I cut them off?
Ewan: I want the crusts on, please. (With a hint of panic in his voice at the thought that his crusts might get cut off)
Armed with the final bit of information I went to the kitchen and I finished preparing his sandwich. I returned with it and gave it to him.
Ewan: (Inspecting it closely and separating the bread to check out the cheese.)Thank you, Grandad.
Grandad: Now, what would you like to drink?
I took a deep breath to reel off my long list of drinks I had on offer. But before I could utter a word Ewan piped up:
Ewan: Black currant fruit shoot, please, Grandad.
Ewan ate it all and drank it all without a murmur and cleared his plate and emptied his bottle
Grandad: Yes! (Punching the air)
I think I will reward myself with lunch
What should I have strawberry jam on toast or cheese sandwiches, brown bread or white, sliced or grated cheese, crusts on or off?
Oh, sod it, give me the Shreddies.