HAPPY RED NOSE DAY JOKES 2022 !!!

HAPPY RED NOSE DAY JOKES 2022 !!!

jeanniejeanniejeannie.co.uk BLOG Friday 18th March 2022

 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

HAPPY RED NOSE DAY JOKES 2022!!!

Behold: The Jokes for Kids!

 

  1. Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?

 

A: He gave her a ring.

 

  1. Q: Why did the turkey join a band?

 

A: So he could use his drumsticks.

 

  1. Q: What’s a math teacher’s favourite winter sport?

 

A: Figure skating.

 

  1. Q: Why are eyeshadow, lipstick, and mascara never mad at each other?

 

A: Because they always make-up

 

  1. Q: Where do roses sleep at night?

 

A: In their flowerbed

 

  1. Q: What should you wear to a tea party?

 

A: A t-shirt

 

  1. Q: What’s rain’s favourite accessory?

 

A: A rainbow

 

  1. Q: Where does a sink go dancing?

 

A: The Dish-co

 

  1. Q: What’s a princess’s favourite time?

 

A: Knight time.

 

  1. Q: Why did the Genie get mad?

 

A: Because he was rubbed the wrong way.

 

  1. Q: What is corn’s favourite music?

 

A: Pop.

 

  1. Q: Why can’t Monday lift Saturday?

 

A: It’s a weak day.

  1. Q: What did the left eye say to the right eye?

 

A: Between you and me, something smells

 

  1. Q: What is an astronaut’s favourite part on a computer?

 

A: The space bar.

 

  1. Q: Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?

 

A: Because he lost his filling.

 

  1. Q: What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?

 

A: A can’t opener.

 

  1. Q: Why did the student eat his homework?

 

A: Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.

 

  1. Q: Why did the kid cross the playground?

 

A: To get to the other slide.

 

  1. Q: How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?

 

A: You rocket!

 

  1. Q: What time is it when the clock strikes 13?

 

A: Time to get a new clock

 

  1. Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

 

A: Ten-tickles

 

  1. Q: What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

 

A: A tuba toothpaste

 

  1. Q: Where do pencils go on vacation?

 

A: Pencil-vania.

 

  1. Q: What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?

 

A: A dino-snore!

 

  1. Q: What did the left eye say to the right eye?

 

A: Between you and me, something smells!

 

TOP EIGHTEEN OF THE DAY

Comic Relief’s Red Nose day started in 1988. It is usually held every other year.

 

2022 will be the 19th year it has been held.

 

THESE ARE THE 18 AMOUNTS OF MONEY RAISED EACH YEAR.

 

1                              1988       £15,000,000

2                              1989       £26,900,000

3                              1991       £20,000,000

4                              1993       £18,000,000

5                              1995       £22,000,000

6                              1997       £27,000,000

7                              1999       £35,000,000

8                              2001       £55,000,000

9                              2003       £61,600,000

10                           2005       £65,000,000

11                           2007       £67,700,000

12                           2009       £82,300,000

13                           2011       £108,436,277

14                           2013       £100,331,808

15                           2015       £99,418,831

16                           2017       £82,154,943

17                           2019       £63,548,668

18                           2021       £52,025,485

                                Total      £1,001,416,012

                                               

In the Wikipedia article ‘Comic Relief’ a grand total raised to 2021 is stated as: £1,068,416,012. But I believe this may include some Sport Relief amounts.

 

REMEMBER: The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

– Nicolas Chamfort

 

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE FOR THE DAY

  1. A good laugh heals a lot of hurts. — Madeleine L’Engle
  2. A good laugh is a mighty good thing, a rather too scarce a good thing. — Herman Melville
  3. A good laugh is sunshine in the house. — William Thackeray

HAPPINESS IS…

Happiness is…a brilliant joke!

GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY

  1. I once bought a dog from a blacksmith.

As soon as I got it home he made a bolt for the door!

  1. I keep dreaming I’m a horse…five nights on the trot now!
  2. A dog walks into a bar and orders a gin & tonic

The barman says ‘Amazing! A talking dog. You should be in the circus!’

The dogs says ‘why? Do they need an electrician?’

  1. I got knocked down by a snow plough this morning.

‘Ouch!’ I screamed through gritted teeth.

LOVE IS…

Love is…a bunch of Red Noses.

TURN…TURN…TURN!

A time for a Knock, Knock Joke…A time for a Doctor, Doctor Joke.

 

 

 

©2022 Phil M Robinson