My 11 Most Favourite ‘The Week’ Tall Stories for 2022 So Far

My 11 Most Favourite ‘The Week’ Tall Stories for 2022 So Far

jeanniejeanniejeannie.co.uk BLOG Friday 11th February 2022

 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

AND TOP ELEVEN OF THE DAY

 My 11 Most Favourite ‘The Week’ Tall Stories for 2022 So Far

The Week Magazine runs a regular feature entitled Tall Stories. These are my 11 Most Favourite ‘The Week’ Tall Stories for 2022 So Far. And they are news stories and for real.

  1. Zoo hires Marvin Gaye impersonator to serenade monkeys

A zoo attempted to boost its population of endangered monkeys by hiring a Marvin Gaye impersonator who serenaded them with romantic songs. The Trentham Monkey Forest in Stafford said David Largie performed saucy songs including Let’s Get It On and Sexual Healing. “We thought it could be a creative way to encourage our females to show a little affection to males that might not have been so lucky in love,” said park director Matt Lovatt.

  1. Alec Baldwin mistaken for ‘roaming vagrant’

Locals in a Hampshire market town mistook Hollywood star Alec Baldwin for a “roaming vagrant”, reported The Times. The actor, who is understood to be filming near the town of Alton, was described as looking like a “hobo” by a resident who spotted him in the aisles of the Co-op supermarket. “Who would ever expect to see something like that in Alton?” asked a local kebab shop owner, who also spotted Baldwin.

  1. Mole browses for bargains

A mole was discovered perusing the aisles of a branch of Poundstretcher in Stowmarket, Suffolk. The small mammal, who has been nicknamed “Ernest”, is believed to have spent around four hours in the store before he was spotted hiding by the tills. Recalling her surprise, the store manager said: “I’ve only seen Wind in the Willows – that’s the only mole I’ve seen. I was amazed by how furry he was. He was so clean too.”

  1. Psychedelic researcher had ‘relationship with pigeon’

A psychedelic researcher spent 15 years in a relationship with a pigeon whom she believed judged her for not being able to fly. “I know telepathy exists because I had this passionate relationship with a pigeon who I brought up from a baby and he fixated and fell madly in love with me and I with him,” said Amanda Feilding, 79, in an interview with Vice TV. Feilding also revealed that she once drilled a hole in her own head after an LSD trip.

  1. Two rows a month equals a happy marriage

A survey of 2,000 married Brits has found that the recipe for a happy marriage includes six meaningful conversations, three long walks and two massive rows every month. The Times reported that the most contented couples claimed to have sex five times a week and say “I love you” up to 20 times a fortnight. They also kiss two or three times a day and cuddle 11 times a week.

  1. Bono

U2 singer Bono has admitted he hates his band’s name, his singing voice and most of the tunes he has sung. The Irish rock star told the Awards Chatter podcast that he finds most of U2’s songs cringeworthy and switches the radio off when they are played because he does not like the sound of his own voice. “I do think U2 pushes out the boat on embarrassment,” he added.

  1. Stowaway survived 11-hour flight

Authorities in the Netherlands discovered a stowaway hiding in the nose wheel of a plane when it landed at Amsterdam’s Schiphol Airport on Sunday morning. He had been hiding for more than 11 hours since the plane departed from Johannesburg, South Africa. The man, who is thought to be between 16 and 35 years old, was taken to hospital in a stable condition. “We were surprised upon finding this man but even more surprised at him being alive,” officials told CNN.

  1. Plastic bag fan hits the record books

A woman with a penchant for old plastic bags has collected a world record 10,000 of them. Angela Clarke, 55, from Wales, has spent 40 years keeping and collecting bags, some of which date as far back as 1954 and are classed as historical artefacts. She said that after she spoke about her passion on TV show Multi-coloured Swap Shop with Noel Edmonds, the BBC was sent hundreds of bags for her, including one from the House of Lords. Her collection is now worth thousands of pounds.

  1. ‘Royal effect’ sparks upsurge in will writing

More people wrote a will when Prince Phillip was admitted to hospital than on any other day last year, according to the will writer and funeral service provider Farewill. When the Duke of Edinburgh was admitted to hospital in February 2021, the number of wills produced increased by 131%. This “royal effect” was seen again when the Queen went into hospital on 22 October, with a 26% increase. Farewill said that Monday at 2pm is the most popular time of the week to write a will.

  1. Marks & Spencer and Aldi have declared a truce in their battle over the Colin the Caterpillar cake. The conflict began last April when M&S logged a legal claim against the German discount grocer after it began selling a cake called Cuthbert the Caterpillar, which strongly resembled its own iconic creation. A confidential agreement out of court was reached late last year, according to The Daily Telegraph, with the terms not made public. “Cuthbert is free and looking forward to seeing all his fans again very soon,” said an Aldi spokesperson.
  2. Gold objects near ISS might be astronaut poo

Mysterious gold objects floating around the International Space Station could be astronaut poo, according to an extraterrestrial fanatic. Scott C. Waring took to his blog, UFO Sightings Daily, to speculate that items spotted on the Nasa ISS live cam could be “urine and waste being dumped by the ISS astronauts”. He also hypothesised that the items might be mini UFOs.

CHECK OUT THE WEEK’S WEBSITE

REMEMBER: The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

– Nicolas Chamfort

 

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE FOR THE DAY

“Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.” —Dennis P. Kimbro.

HAPPINESS IS…

Happiness is…Tall Tales in The Week Magazine.

GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY

The carpenter came round the other day. He made the best entrance I have ever seen…

LOVE IS…

Love is…jumping for joy when you are together.

TURN…TURN…TURN!

A time for The Week Magazine…A time for Time Magazine.

 

 

 

©2022 Phil M Robinson