NINE THINGS TO PRETEND YOU’RE LOOKING FORWARD TO
jeanniejeanniejeannie.co.uk BLOG Saturday 21st November 2020
Nine things to pretend you’re looking forward to.
I make no secret of the fact that I love the Daily Mash postings. This one I think they have about right.
Nine things to pretend you’re looking forward to.
CHRISTMAS will be cancelled, booking a holiday is idiocy and the calendar is blank. Convince people you’ve not given up all hope by pretending to look forward to these:
- New Year’s Eve, because you might not be able to go out but at least 2020 will be over and done with.
- Trump Day, when the former president is forced to leave the White House by secret service agents and left on the street outside with all his stuff.
- Lockdown III, beginning in mid-February, when it’s so dark and cold and wet outside that it’s actually doing Britain a real favour.
- Pancake Day, because it’s unaffected by any of this crap and you get to eat pancakes.
- The Friends reunion special, which is just the cast talking about old episodes like the boring old nostalgic bastards they and you have become.
- The anniversary of the first lockdown, celebrated by standing on the doorstep and gazing morosely into the middle distance alongside your neighbours.
- Phase Four of the Marvel Cinematic Universe begins, if you still want to watch that crap after a genuine global threat where Tony Stark did nothing.
- The first vaccines are administered, and you excitedly log on to find that just 37,832,885 more and it’ll be your turn.
- Love Island 2021: When The Plague Takes Us All, These People Will Repopulate Earth.
DON’T FORGET TO LAUGH EVERYDAY
HUMOUR OFF OUR TIMES
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE FOR THE DAY
“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are”
— Kurt Cobain
Happiness is…looking forward
GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. “We don’t serve your type!” shouts the barman.
Love is…just the two of us
WHAT IS THERE A SEASON FOR TODAY TURN, TURN, TURN …
A time to look forward…A time to look back
SOMETHING TO BE POSITIVE ABOUT & GRATEFUL FOR IN THE WORLD
I really appreciate all the libraries around the world.
SOMETHING TO LAUGH ABOUT
At Last the 1948 Show
At Last the 1948 Show is a satirical television show made by David Frost’s company, Paradine Productions (although it was not credited on the programmes), in association with Rediffusion London. Transmitted on Britain’s ITV network in 1967, it brought Cambridge Footlights humour to a broader audience.
The show starred Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Marty Feldman and Aimi MacDonald. Cleese and Brooke-Taylor were also the programme editors. The director was Ian Fordyce. Chapman and Cleese would later be among the founders of the Monty Python comedy troupe, and several of the sketches first performed in At Last the 1948 Show would later be performed by Monty Python in various formats.
While only two episodes of the show had been thought to survive, efforts to locate missing episodes have been fruitful, with seven episodes being accounted for by 2013. On 23 October 2014, two episodes were recovered by the British Film Institute from the David Frost collection, and a further two episodes were recovered the following year, making the number of complete episodes eleven out of thirteen
No. of series 2
No. of episodes 13
TOTAL STAIRWAY TO EVEREST CLIMB CHALLENGE
Friday 20/11/2020 DAY 230 – 12 Times – 120 Feet Cum Total – 27,600 Feet – (Goal 29,035 Ft)
II’n just going back to THE DAILY MASH because there are two more of their posts I just cannot resist.
STUPID THINGS TO DO IN LOCKDOWN 2 YOU’LL REGRET WHEN IT’S OVER
ARE your feelings of anxiety and peril making you think it’s a good idea to text your ex? Don’t. This will pass and you’ll feel like a twat. Here are some more things not to do.
Have a ‘big talk’ with your partner
Been waiting for a moment when you have plenty of time to address a problem in your relationship? This is not it. Choosing now to bring up your brief but passionate affair with their sister in 2009 is a big mistake.
Start that novel you always wanted to write
People who start a novel and never finish it can blame the pressures of work and family rather than having no talent. You have no such excuse and plenty of time on your hands, so you’ll have to face up to your tragic lack of creativity.
Watch every episode of The Handmaid’s Tale
Is there a box set you’ve heard loads about but never had time to watch? Choose wisely. Watching The Handmaid’s Tale or The Walking Dead now will give you an anxiety disorder on top of the one you already have from the lockdown.
Embark on a large DIY project
Always wanted to knock through the dining room wall to create an open-plan living space? If you choose to do it during lockdown, not only will you turn your home into a hideous building site you can’t escape, but you can’t call a builder to fix your stupidity.
‘Reach out’ to exes or enemies
Thinking about patching things up with people you hate? Bad idea. When this ends, you’ll still hate them but you’ll have foolishly invited them back into your life to mess it up again.
Man’s supportive tweets and posts getting on everyone’s nerves
A MAN using social media to keep friends and relatives’ spirits up should just stop it, everyone has agreed.
Martin Bishop has been using WhatsApp, Facebook and Twitter to send out a constant stream of memes, messages and uplifting news stories that are of no practical help whatsoever.
Friend Tom Logan said: “Martin woke me up at 7am with a notification for his WhatsApp message ‘Stay safe everyone!’. Needless to say, he did not specify how.
“All day he’s been astroturfing Facebook with inane crap, such as a video of some puppies in a basket titled ‘This will cheer you up if your low in these Dark Times’. There’s a limit to what puppies can do, and we passed it weeks ago.
“Then on Twitter he insisted everyone stands at their front door on Thursday and claps for NHS staff. Who will even see that? The BBC won’t be coming to the hallway in my nasty block of flats.”
Bishop said: “I feel in my own small way I’m helping people through this upsetting situation using social media. I think I’m going to change my profile picture next. That should get this whole thing over with a little bit quicker.”
©2020 Phil M Robinson