18th September 2017
16 MONTHS OLD GEORGE’S BLOG
Hi George here. Welcome to my world. Won’t you come on in?
Yes, it is George. It has been a long time since I blogged by myself. Ewan has been hogging it all and pulling rank. Ok, I have done some blogging with him, but not me as an individual, of late. The last time was the end of July and an awful lot of life experiences good and bad have floated down the toilet since that date.
Most of these experiences involve mischief or food or Books/TV/Films which means life has been good, no excellent.
Someone on Twitter, Twittered (Tweeted) that you can tell somebody’s age by the language they use when they write. Do you think that is true? Can you tell this is being written by a 16 month old (yes, it is official I am now 16 months old. I have had an upgrade.). I bet when Grandad writes something his language is totally different to mine, so you know straight away.
So what have I been up to? What haven’t I been up to? That question has a shorter answer. I’ve still not been to the park by myself yet. I’ve not quite managed to stay awake every single minute of the night, but I’ve been close to it. Just give me time, a little more practice to perfect the routine.
When you get to be really old like nearly in your teens you get to go to amazing places like Wembley Stadium and New York and Disneyland. But I have been to somewhere more amazing than all these places put together. Krew Cuts in Newark. Yes, that’s right my hairdresser. Wow, what a fantastic experience.
And there I was given my first certificate, which I have put in a file starting my portfolio of accomplishments to show to my first employer, when I reach that age.
My hair has been growing for a long time. Nine months growth in the womb. There is a fundamental flaw there you know. You cannot get your haircut in the womb and you are in there, if you are lucky, for nine long months. I know, crazy. There was, then, an additional 16 months out of the womb which makes two years, one month without a hair cut. Can you imagine what Dad or Grandad would look like if they went that long? I suppose Grandad would look just the same.
I know Ewan has mentioned Krew Cuts and talked about haircuts in his Blog. But I mention it because we all have different experiences. That is life.
My hair was long and curly and I looked like a girl. At the moment there is loads of controversial stuff going on about being gender neutral, both nationally and within my family. I’m not bothered about all that I just wanted to experience having my hair cut.
Krew Cuts, the children’s hairdressers, at Newark, Nottingham is a mega place. The room is huge and surreal looking like the inside of a New York warehouse with its exposed brick walls and Banksy type street art. There is so much freedom with masses of unrestricted space. There are 3 cars, pink, green and red that hover mid air that you sit in. Only my size. Not Grandad although he would try.
Krew Cuts Hairdressers is like stepping into a Disney, Pixar or Dreamworks animated film. I have been to the Harry Potter Experience and for kids my age Krew Cuts is a better experience. It is A-MAZE-ING.
I was able to choose anyone of the mid air hovering cars to sit in. I chose the red one. Why would anyone choose a different colour? The cars are real ones, just like Mum and Dad’s. I know they are real because they have a steering wheel, a handbrake, 4 normal wheels and even a gear stick. I think if you chose you could drive to Cornwall in it.
There was a TV in front of each car and I could choose to watch anything on the TV that I wanted. I chose Peppa Pig. I always watch Peppa Pig at home, so it made me feel comfortable.
My experience of life to date is very definitely, that you do not get anything for nothing. That was to be the case here. I was given all this on a plate but in return the lady wanted me to let her cut my hair. Although I have said what I said about my hair growth I was a bit doubtful. I was attached to my hair both mentally and physically.
In the end I thought I’ve seen Sister Freya have hers cut many times, it never seemed to hurt and it always grew again. So I was quite chilled about it, especially after all the effort the lady had gone to just for me. And once I had made my decision I think she appreciated me allowing her to.
What I did not realise, is that I was sitting a test or exam like a SAT or an A Level exam. Mum and Dad probably didn’t tell me because I’d freak out and need to do some revision. I still don’t know what I was tested on: how I drove the car, my sitting position for my haircut, my choice of TV and quality, how I reacted to the lady, colour and style of my hair and my behaviour, probably all of them.
As I said at the beginning I got a certificate at the end. If all exams are that easy through life I don’t think I shall have much trouble. I don’t know why people get so uptight about them. They are easy peasy and I look forward to taking them all: SATs, GCSEs, A Levels, Degrees, Driving Tests, Swimming tests, Medicals, eye tests, and blood tests.
Everyone needs to experience Krew Cuts in their life time and do it quickly as I fear it will be turned into a World Heritage Centre and then no one will be able to get in due to the crowds.
Just a little tip, don’t confuse Krew Cuts, Newark with Krew Kuts (cuts with a ‘K’) at 2709 Hubbard Road, Madison, Ohio, USA. The USA is a long way to travel to get there to find it’s the wrong one and believe me the experience just will not be as good.
After the haircut I looked so good. I’m sorry they do not do Bonniest Baby Competitions any more. They don’t for Health and Safety reasons, I think. Oh no, Grandad says PC reasons, whatever. But I would win hands down with this haircut. Probably just as well they don’ do them, it would leave a lot of kids disappointed and crying.
Well, best leave it there. I had loads of other things to lay on you, but got carried away on my haircut. They’ll wait for another day.
So Bye, Bye, George.