OF STRESSFUL THINGS
R U JOKING, GRANDAD BLOG 27th September 2017
Ok, I’m a grandparent and should be laid back and in control all the time and never stressed. Don’t you believe it. One thing that really stresses me out, no both of us out is TV remote controls .
I could throw into this one telephones and tablets but I have worked with IT all my working life and I insist in living in denial that these stress me out.
So picture this scenario Mum and Dad have just gone out, Mamma and Grandad are being looked after by four grandchildren. Two aged 4 and one 2½ and one 16 months. It takes four of them because Grandad and Mamma are trouble!
Can we have Cbeebies on, Trolls, Madagascar III, and 101 Dalmations, please, Grandad.
That shows a small reading on the stressometer but it’s sortable using all the diplomacy skills we can muster.
But the natives get restless as I try to stir the TV into action. Which one of the seven remotes do I use? I. TV, 2. DVD player, 3. BT TV. 4. Apple TV, 5. X-box, 6. Amazon TV. 7. Blu Ray Player, Oh, and then there is No.8 the all encompassing one that supposedly does away with all the others and does everything, probably even makes a cup of tea or coffee. But let’s not complicate things.
In my day there may have only been 3 TV channels but at least you had a physical knob to go between them. No confusion there!
“You need Netflix, Grandad.” Screams one impatient four year old.
“But I don’t have a remote control for Netflix.” I scream back.
I panic and press hundreds of buttons and get swamped with menus for equipment and functions. I resort to the classic turn it off, wait 10 seconds and turn it on again. But still the same confused menus. Finally I get a legitimate station, picture and programme. But it’s the Jeremy Kyle Show. We all settle peacefully on the settee to watch it.
“Why is there no sound, Grandad?” asks one bright, observant grandchild.
“Because I do not know how to get it. If you want sound you’ll have to wait until daddy gets back.”
Meanwhile another grandchild is watching “Trolls” on a tablet. I go to investigate. Yes, sure enough it is the film, there’s Poppy and Branch singing away in full glorious colour.
I come back to the TV to try and lip read Jeremy Kyle. But he’s not on the screen any more. In his place is 101 Dalmatians with wonderful Dolby surround sound. 16 month old George sits smugly with a remote control in his right hand loving his choice of TV.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Our greatest glory consists not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall.
Happiness is…a Diana Krall concert and listening to a Diana Krall album on vinyl – sheer perfection
GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY
First woman: My son came to visit for summer vacation. Second woman: How nice! Did you meet him at the airport? First woman: Oh, no. I’ve known him for years!
LOVE SONG FOR MAMMA
I Can’t Stop Loving You – Ray Charles
No.1 in charts 12 July 1962 for 2 weeks
WHAT’S POSITIVE IN OUR LIFE (In UK)
The freedom of movement we can go wherever we choose in world or universe (overall) without restriction