The 20 worst Beatles songs
jeanniejeanniejeannie.co.uk BLOG Sunday 24th October 2021
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
TOP TWENTY OF THE DAY
The 20 worst Beatles songs
As I was researching on the internet, I came across this interesting Top 20 by Steve Poitras. Interesting but I do not agree with all the entries. What are your thoughts?
The Beatles recorded more than 300 songs over the course of their career. Despite some of them being absolute gems, others can make your skin crawl. Here’s our rundown of the 20 worst songs by the Fab Four, in chronological order.
- Love Me Do – From Please Please Me album (1963)
It’s the song that introduced the Beatles to the world—their first hit, their first song that left a mark. But it makes us wonder: hadn’t anyone heard a song before 1962?
Excessively simple, “Love Me Do” is the rock ’n’ roll equivalent of low-fat vanilla yogurt. It’s hard to understand why England went so crazy for so little. Was the pre-internet world that boring?
- I Need You – Help! (1965)
Lots of people say over and over, hearts filled with boundless admiration, that the four mop tops could record three LPs in a single afternoon. Oh, they were quick, those Beatles, but sometimes it seems they were a bit rushed. And in the case of “I Need You,” it shows.
Why did you leave that out-of-time, crazy guitar in the mix? Didn’t want to bother with a second take?
- Honey Don’t – Beatles for Sale (1964)
Let’s be honest: “Ringo’s song” is usually an unfortunate moment to skip over on a Beatles album. But what were they to do? Ringo had to be featured somehow to help the poor teenage girl who couldn’t figure out which Beatle was her favourite.
They say it’s not always the drummer’s fault.
On “Honey Don’t,” Ringo really did everything he could. He put tons of energy into trying to hide the fact that the rest of the group is on autopilot, but in vain. In fact, if you take a close listen to the left side of the stereo mix, you can hear George Harrison thinking of something else during his solo.
- Mr. Moonlight – Beatles for Sale (1964)
Hey, did Grandma just take off my Beatles album and put one of hers on? What’s happening here? Oh, wait, it’s just John Lennon trying to be a questionable crooner, with Paul doing a questionable organ solo on a questionable song.
- Run for Your Life – Rubber Soul (1965)
«Well, I’d rather see you dead, little girl
Than to be with another man
You better keep your head, little girl
Or you won’t know where I am»
Look out girls, because John Lennon would rather see you dead than with another man. Dead! Whatever happened to “All You Need Is Love”?
In his defence, Lennon publicly declared this song his “least favourite Beatles song” in his last major interview.
- Taxman – Revolver (1966)
After drying his tears in a silk handkerchief given to him by one of his fifteen butlers, Sir George wrote a song about the pain and anger he feels about having to pay taxes. Life ain’t easy, my friend.
- Yellow Submarine – Revolver (1966)
Paul wanted to write a kids’ song—why not? Good for him, it’s his right. But, if it’s a kids’ song, why do I hear it so often during my adult life?
- Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds – Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (1967)
“Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds,” or LSD, for short (OMG! That’s LSD, the drug!), is an interesting subject. It’s special, it’s original, but who voluntarily plays this song saying: “This is my jam?!” Nobody. You take drugs, John—fine. We get it.
- Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite! – Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (1967)
“Mr. Kite,” with its lyrics drawn almost entirely from an old carnival poster, represents the moment when John Lennon officially stopped trying. A few songs later, on the same album, he sang “Good Morning, Good Morning” after hearing the lyrics in a cereal commercial.
In the big book of detestable things, circus music comes just after circus clowns. Even the Beatles can’t change that.
- Hey Jude – (1968)
According to researchers, there are two types of people: those who like to hang out with their friends and enjoy life, and those who like to listen to the last five hours of the incredibly long “Hey Jude.” Na, na, na, na, NANANNAAANA, hey hey hey, goodbye.
- Wild Honey Pie – The Beatles (The White Album) (1968)
The best way to fill a double album is to include all kinds of stuff that nobody really needs to hear. The effect is subtle—if you decide to put “Wild Honey Pie” on your album, you don’t have any excuses to tell Ringo that “Don’t Pass Me By” isn’t very good. A bad song here, a bad song there, and presto, you’ve got your double album.
- Don’t Pass Me By – The Beatles (The White Album) (1968)
Some people might be surprised that “Octopus’s Garden” didn’t make this list. Ringo only recorded two compositions with the Beatles, and, compared to “Don’t Pass Me By,” “Octopus” is like Mozart.
It took Ringo four years to convince the group to record his song. It only made it onto The White Album because the standards were so low by this time that it didn’t matter—he may as well do it.
The song’s story: a man is waiting for his lover, who doesn’t arrive. He almost gets mad, but finds out that she had a car accident where she lost all her hair. It’s a story that needs to be told—a great country hit. Yee-ha!
- Why Don’t We Do It in the Road? The Beatles (The White Album) (1968)
In his book, A Hard Day’s Write, journalist Steve Turner reports that “Paul got the idea for this song when he was in India, when he saw two monkeys having sex in front of everyone.” It’s scientifically proven that no good story can start this way.
- Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da – The Beatles (The White Album) (1968)
Elton John has “Jamaica J*rk Off” and the Beatles have “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da.” By far the whitest Jamaican ska you can find. At least Paul McCartney didn’t insist on using an accent when he sang it.
Can you imagine listening to this song for 42 hours straight? The Beatles’ loyal recording engineer Geoff Emerick had to, and he quit his job immediately afterwards.
- Revolution 9 – The Beatles (The White Album) (1968)
I could use coherent sentences to explain why this eight-minute sonic mosaic is untenable, but why should I? John Lennon sure didn’t.
Synopsis: mascarpone, ham, and the sound of rhododendron. A hang glider in the shape of a screwdriver. Walk—fast, fast, fast—and you’ll have three eyebrows. “Revolution 9.”
- Only a Northern Song – Yellow Submarine (1969)
The soundtrack to Yellow Submarine already isn’t the Beatles’ finest moment, so imagine a song that’s been included just to fill time so that they aren’t selling an album that’s too short.
Sticking to his habit of never being satisfied with his situation and talking to us like we care (see “Taxman”), George Harrison offers up a song about the fact that he isn’t happy with his editor, Northern Songs, and the way it retained the copyright for the songs it published.
The arrangement is chaotic and unpleasant, and George is singing as if he would have rather stayed home and played Parcheesi. He probably should have.
- The Long and Winding Road – Let It Be (1970)
The day when producer Phil Spector recorded the orchestra and choir to accompany this saccharine piece is the day that subtlety officially died.
It’s a song that cries, at the top of its lungs: “THERE, DO YOU FEEL EMOTIONAL NOW?”
- Maxwell’s Silver Hammer – Abbey Road (1969)
Yoko Ono broke up the Beatles. Fine. But we’re pretty sure that having to work on a song like “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer” for days on end is more likely to make you want to quit the band.
Even the ever-happy, “peace and love” Ringo couldn’t handle it. “The worst session ever was Maxwell’s Silver Hammer. It was the worst track we ever had to record. It went on for f****g weeks.”
And then there’s the synthesizer solo. Good thing the Beatles broke up before the 1970s really got rolling.
- Sun King – Abbey Road (1969)
The B-side of Abbey Road was pretty much perfect. But while we’re electrified by the incredible “You Never Give Me Your Money,” as soon as it ends, “Sun King” begins.
Even before the group starts singing, we’re lulled into a deep sleep from which we won’t wake until we hear the first notes of “Mean Mr. Mustard” and, lying, swear: “No, no, I wasn’t sleeping, I was just resting my eyes.”
In 1980, Lennon said of the song: “That’s a piece of garbage I had around.”
- Free As a Bird – (1995)
To promote their Anthology, the three remaining Beatles exhumed John Lennon’s cadaver in the form of a poorly recorded demo. The result is a sleepy song, which could probably put Lennon back into his eternal sleep.
In terms of new songs, “Real Love” is far better. The Fab Three clearly took the time to enjoy a coffee before pressing the record button.
REMEMBER: The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
– Nicolas Chamfort
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE FOR THE DAY
“Some people look for a beautiful place. Others make a place beautiful.” – Hazrat Inayat Khan
Happiness is…a Beatles track, good or bad.
GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY
Q: Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
A: Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Love is…all you need.
A time for Hey Jude…A time for Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds.
©2021 Phil M Robinson