WHY WASN’T ENGLAND’S 8-0 WIN AGAINST NORWAY FRONT PAGE HEADLINES?

WHY WASN’T ENGLAND’S 8-0 WIN AGAINST NORWAY FRONT PAGE HEADLINES?

jeanniejeanniejeannie.co.uk BLOG Thursday 14th July 2022

 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

(Taken from DAILY MASH) And so true!

ENGLAND’S record-breaking 8-0 win against Norway would be the headline of every newspaper for twelve months if it had been the men’s team.

Fans of the Lionesses are confused that last night’s delirious triumph has featured on precisely two front pages while if Gareth Southgate’s team had a comparable win it would be headline news until mid-2023.

Supporter Emma Bradford said: “Fair play to the Mirror and the i for giving our hammering of the Norwegians a small front-page mention, comparable to an actress wearing a dress. Thanks lads.

“But what the f**k are the rest of them playing at? The Guardian didn’t even cover it and they’re usually all over that shit.

“If Gareth Southgate’s boys had thrashed the dark horse favourites of the Euros then life on Mars wouldn’t bump them off the front page. There’d be rolling coverage like a Royal death. The goals montage would be playing on the inside of your eyelids.

“But the women’s team, who were forecast to win the whole bastard tournament even before this, are less newsworthy than Kylie being back on Neighbours. I can’t for the life of me figure out why that would be.”

Football fan Ryan Whittaker said: “This Lionesses’ win reminds me of when we destroyed Norway 1-0 in a 2014 friendly. Really impressive and I don’t think we talk about it enough.”

CHECK OUT THE DAILY MASH!

TOP TEN OF THE DAY

The Top 10: Epic cries of ‘What have we done?’

Regrets, there have been a few

By John Rentoul – Independent.

This list started because Ben Page tweeted No 10.

Caption for the image (above) of Boris Johnson and Michael Gove on the morning after the EU referendum, “What have we done?”

  1. God: “And the Lord was sorry that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him to his heart.” Genesis 6:6. Hence the flood, although the big softie made an exception for Noah and his crew.

 

  1. Isaac Newton: “I can calculate the movements of the stars but not the madness of men.” He lost a fortune in the South China Sea Bubble, the crypto of its day.

 

  1. Alfred Nobel: Invented dynamite as a handy tool for miners; it never occurred to him that people would use it on each other. Left his vast fortune to prize funds, including for peace.

 

  1. Robert Oppenheimer: “I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.” He quoted the Bhagavad Gita some time after the test explosion of the first atomic bomb. What he actually said at the time was: “I guess it worked.”

 

  1. Colonel Nicholson: “What have I done?” Alec Guinness in The Bridge on the River Kwai realises he shouldn’t have revealed the plan to blow up the bridge to the Japanese, but luckily falls, wounded, onto the plunger on the detonator anyway.

 

  1. Charlie Croker: “You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off.” Michael Caine in The Italian Job. Also addressed by Sarah Vine to Michael Gove, her husband, after the EU referendum.

 

  1. Gerald Ratner: “It’s not water under the bridge. It’s something I’ve been living with for the last 30 years. It’s like a scar on your face.” He sank his jewellery company in 1991 by saying its products were so cheap because they were “total crap”. Nominated by Richard Morris, who also suggested the final line of a scene from The Big Bang Theory, “Sheldon Meets His Date”.

 

  1. Tony Blair: “You idiot. You naive, foolish, irresponsible nincompoop. There is really no description of stupidity, no matter how vivid, that is adequate. I quake at the imbecility of it.” Addressing himself in his memoir, about the Freedom of Information Act.

 

  1. Margaret Beckett: “I’m beginning to wish that I hadn’t, to be quite honest about it.” Five weeks after nominating Jeremy Corbyn without intending to vote for him, the flaw in her plan to broaden the debate became evident.

 

  1. Eric Schmidt, former chief executive of Google: “The concept of social networks, broadly speaking, as amplifiers for idiots and crazy people is not what we intended.”

 

As I allowed fictional entries, I could have included Admiral Yamamoto: “I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve.” The last line of Tora! Tora! Tora!, the 1970 film about the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbour.

 

REMEMBER: The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

– Nicolas Chamfort

 

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE FOR THE DAY

 “If you believe it’ll work out, you’ll see opportunities. If you don’t believe it’ll work out, you’ll see obstacles.” ―Wayne Dyer.

HAPPINESS IS…

Happiness is…England Lionesses winning 8-0.

GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY

Why were they called the “dark ages?” Because there were a lot of knights.

LOVE IS…

Love is…patient.

Love is…kind.

PEARLS OF WISDOM

Manners maketh man

TURN…TURN…TURN!

A time for English men’s football to make the front pages…A time for English ladies football to make the front pages.

 

 

 

 

©2022 Phil M Robinson