WOMEN BETTER THAN MEN
jeanniejeanniejeannie.co.uk BLOG Tuesday 4th May 2021
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Six things women will always be better at than men.
We’ve been neglecting The Daily Mash of late. Let’s make up for that with an item which I find to be very true, certainly in my life! Excuse the language below. You should know by now I never f**king write like that.
THERE’S no escaping it – women are just better at some things. Here are six prime examples of activities men cannot even begin to compete at.
Women wrap presents of any size and shape with ease, whereas men with their giant paws and slow brains turn even a small rectangular gift into a scruffy bundle of paper and sellotape. Women even add fancy extraneous garnishes like bows and strips of curly, glittery ribbon, the f**king show-offs.
So obvious it’s hardly worth mentioning. Even if a man gets the upper hand briefly, she’ll throw in a cunning curveball from months ago, like you allegedly ‘flirting’ by talking to her best friend down the pub. You’ll never win, but it’s your own fault for being wrong about everything.
Women have a mathematical mind on a par with Albert Einstein or Archimedes when it comes to your finances, understanding difficult concepts like ‘how much money you have’ and ‘you do not need a giant Lego Death Star’. Best to turn over your income to your partner and let her give you weekly pocket money like the financially irresponsible infant you really are.
Remembering important dates
How the f**king hell do women remember not only key events like anniversaries but also pointless relatives’ birthdays? Men can just about remember what year the kids were born but not something obscure like what day they got married, so there’s only one explanation: witchcraft.
Planning a holiday
She will research whether your hotel has a pool and compare flight prices to secure the best deal months in advance, then pack toiletries, sunscreen and dodgy tummy medicines a week ahead. He will ask if the place has a bar then later marvel at how how things like toothpaste got on a plane and magically followed you there.
Riding a racehorse
Men were best at this for years, but then women decided to have a go at it, and Rachael Blackmore won the 2021 Grand National. This last bastion of male superiority has now crumbled to dust. Which women will have to clear away, because men are crap at dusting.
…And now seriously…
WE’LL SEE A PINK SUPERMOON TONIGHT TUESDAY 27th APRIL 2021
The full moon in April is also known as the “pink moon” as it is named after pink wildflowers, known as phlox, which bloom in the springtime in North America. The celestial event is expected to take place just before sunset on Tuesday 27 April as the moon rises in the east and will be visible until it sets in the west the next morning.
The supermoon, means it will appear 30% bigger in the sky. It will shine bright on the evening of Tuesday 27th April, peaking at 4.31am, Wednesday morning in the UK. According to the RMG, it’s set to be extra special. “Both the April and May full moons will appear larger in the sky than normal. This is because during April and May this year there will be a supermoon,” they say.
TOP TWENTY OF THE DAY
Here are the top 20 Most Amazing Websites on the Internet
- FlightRadar24 (flightradar24.com)
- Photopea (photopea.com)
- 10 Minute Mail (10minutemail.com)
- Camel Camel Camel (camelcamelcamel.com)
- Flag Waver (krikienoid.github.io/flagwaver)
- Mount Everest 3D (www.everest3d.de)
- Reelgood (reelgood.com)
- Robo boogie (roboboogie.codeclub.org.uk)
- Giphy (https://giphy.com)
- Print Friendly (printfriendly.com)
- Pixel Thoughts (pixelthoughts.co)
- The Faces Of Facebook (app.thefacesoffacebook.com)
- Domino (domino.roilipman.com/)
- GeekPrank (geekprank.com)
- Skin Packs (skinpacks.com/)
- Star Experiment (stars.chromeexperiments.com)
- OUTRIDER: BOMB BLAST (outrider.org/nuclear-weapons/interactive/bomb-blast)
- You’re getting old! (you.regettingold.com)
- Lamebook (www.lamebook.com)
- The Revolving Internet and the Sleeping Internet (therevolvinginternet.com) (thesleepinginternet.com)
THIS LITTLE LAD’S FACE SAYS IT ALL!!!
SPECIAL DAYS CELEBRATED ON
International Sauvignon Blanc Day
International Respect for Chickens Day
Intergalactic Star Wars Day – May the Fourth Be With You!
International Firefighters Day
Petite and Proud Day
World Giving Day
DON’T FORGET TO LAUGH EVERYDAY
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE FOR THE DAY
The mind is everything. What you think you become. – Buddha.
Happiness is…knowing Mamma can do some things better than me…probably most things if I’m being honest.
GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY
Q: What did the fish say when he hit a wall. A: Dam!
Love is being something special to someone.
A time to wrap presents…A time to remember important dates.
4 May 1896 – 125 years ago
The Daily Mail, devised by Alfred Harmsworth (later Viscount Northcliffe) and his brother Harold (later Viscount Rothermere), was first published on 4 May 1896. It was an immediate success.
LITTLE NUMBERS: SOME HORRBLE SOME NICE
©2021 Phil M Robinson